The 2014 Damon Runyon 5K

Today we ran in our third Damon Runyon 5K and all things considered, we did pretty well. We only worked out twice to prepare for this day and we still managed to finish in about 30 minutes or so. We even had an actual team member with us, which is always exciting. Stephanie also wore the shirt and hair ribbon that we demanded she wear. Before we get into the great things that WE accomplished today, let's do a brief recap of the event's success:

"New York, NY (August 3, 2014) — More than 2,300 baseball fans, runners, walkers, cancer survivors, and their friends and family gathered at Yankee Stadium on Sunday, August 3^rd for the Damon Runyon Cancer Research Foundation’s sixth annual Runyon 5K.

One of New York’s most unique summer events, the Runyon 5K is the only charitable run/walk that uses the iconic Stadium as its course. This year’s event raised more than $500,000 – and counting – for the nonprofit’s groundbreaking efforts to strike out cancer. Since inception, the event has raised more than $3.5 million dollars.

Runners were welcomed to the Stadium by Damon Runyon President and CEO Lorraine Egan, U.S. Congressman José E. Serrano, WNBC 4 reporter Brynn Gingras, and Yankees enthusiast and Bleacher Creature leader “Bald Vinny.”

“Over the past six years, the proceeds from the Runyon 5K have allowed us to fund amazing cancer researchers doing incredible work,” Egan said. "Our 5K participants have made breakthroughs possible – it’s as simple as that.”

Runners were welcomed by a video – displayed on the centerfield video board – greeting from the Official Ambassador, Yankees center fielder Brett Gardner. The event's top fundraiser will win a chance to meet Gardner and two tickets to the game."

You can still support the Damon Runyon 5K by pledging a donation...to our team preferably. Next year, if you're local, we insist that you do this run. For the good of your soul, cancer research, your ass/thighs, and for your stomach (because they have the best snacks ever). This video will give you a snippet of what it's like, but it conveniently leaves out any reference to the stairs.

We miraculously arrived at the Stadium an hour and a half in advance, which is unheard of for us. Probably because we had Stephanie to keep us on task. If it was up to us, we probably would've stopped for coffee and the bathroom 3 more times than we actually did. As you can see in this photo, it looked like we were heading into a monsoon.

Once we arrived, we checked in, picked up our bibs and filled out our tribute cards. We choose to run for the Damon Runyon Cancer Research Foundation in honor of Lisa's Fred #2 and Serena's Mamadukes, Mema, and Fred #1.

Do you see those sexy, colorful ribbons in our hair? You want them, don't you? They were custom made for us by Lisa's friend, Kerry. You want sexy, colorful ribbons for yourself? Message us and we'll put you in touch with the mastermind. She may even give you a discount. Like 5% or some sh*t. Or a free taco with purchase.

Since we were early, we decided to watch the first wave lap the field from the Delta Skybox.

We got wind that we might be able to hop onto an earlier heat, so we ran downstairs to hit that shit. We took our traditional pre-race selfie just before horn sounded.

And then we were off! First, two laps around the 100 level. Serena always high-fives Don Mattingly's number near Monument Park. Perhaps one day soon, she will high-five Bernie's. *Hint, hint* Here we are running on the field like Olympic track stars:

Having already done two Runyon 5K's, we knew the drill. Watch for sneaky photographers and make sure you smile. We've had far too many stinky eye pictures. We explained all of this to Stephanie while rounding the warning track. How do you think we did?

Once off the warning track, it was time to face the true horror of this race: stairs. 4 million stairs to be exact. Lisa counted. We must've had two epic race training days because it wasn't as terrible as it had been in the past. Don't misunderstand. The stairs were terrible and they symbolize everything that's evil in this world, but they just weren't as bad as usual. Running high school bleachers two times really paid off.

After the race, we received medals for being the most fashionable runners there. We accepted these awards as humbly as possible.

As usual, the post-race spread was simply stellar. Cheese, bagels, bananas, yogurt, healthy snack bars. We stuffed ourselves and after parting ways with Stephanie, stopped and got smoothies. Then we napped. Before blogging, we felt that we needed some protein and "brain food" to blog, so we stopped at Taco Bell and ordered about $10 of food. Per person. Now here we are. The End. Til' next year.