TBB's First Yankees' Double Header Ends in Failure

Saturday was a day of many firsts for us. It was the first time we rolled into a game (any game) with a posse. First double header at Yankee Stadium. First time attending 3 games in 24 hours. First time hating on Blue Jays fans. Lisa tried Yuengling for the first time (and actually liked it). So we'll start from the beginning.

We'd just come off a Friday that included a drive to and from Baltimore and an Orioles game. We got home Saturday morning at two. We got tickets to this Yankees game for registering early for the Stephen Siller Tunnel to the Towers 5K. Stephanie, Auntiedukes, and Julia are all running with us and therefore, received these tickets as well. Auntiedukes ordered an extra ticket for Uncle Alan, so we already knew that we'd be sitting with a sizable group. Then we found out that our friends, Lindsey and Brian were going, so we agreed to drive in together to save on parking, gas, and tolls. Saturday's game was supposed to take place at 4:05 pm.Then the game was changed to 1:05 pm. Then it became a double header. Bonus.

We arrived a little late at the stadium, so we missed the first home runs by Gardner and Headley.

We parted ways at their section and met the rest of the crew at our seats.

 

The game started promising. We were with good people. The Yanks were winning. Serena received word that Meryl's brother (and by extension, Serena's adopted brother) and mother were in the house, so Serena headed off to grab a drink at the Sunrun Rooftop Deck.

While Serena caught up with David and Mama Landau, Lisa attempted to buy her own beer from a wandering gypsy vendor. It did not end well for her. The vendor carried Bronx Brewery Pale Ale, which Lisa had never tried before, but she figured, "why not?" She knew something terrible was afoot when, in lieu of a cup of beer, Lisa received two cups of mostly head. The beer also tasted like someone took a shit in her cup. Julia thought it was hilarious.

It also went terribly for the Yankees. The lead quickly dissipated. With the lead gone, the bandwagon Jays fans arrived. Allow us to travel back in time. To a time when the Blue Jays were not contenders. To a time when the TBB traveled across the border to O'Canada. Lisa was stopped at customs and was questioned for her decision to travel to Toronto in order to see the Blue Jays. Even country officials scoffed at this team. At the stadium, the stands were mostly empty.

Fast forward to yesterday's games. Our stands were filled with a pack of Blue Jay memorabilia-wearing ASS CLOWNS. Do you know how we know these fans were phony bandwagon fans? Because while in Toronto, we went two games and no one acted like an obnoxious ass clown. Now these fake ass bitches roll into our house and act like buffoons. Oh, no, no. We will not accept what Rodney Harrison calls, "this foolishness." Therefore, we gave the fans The Kermit Face.

Serena ordered herself and Auntiedukes a Yuengling and we each got a bucket of chicken tenders with garlic fries for $23 (no garlic would've been $20, but seriously, why wouldn't you make the $3 investment?). Let us repeat that. We EACH ordered a bucket of chicken tenders with garlic fries. Stephanie acted like a real lady and simply ordered herself a "platter." As we returned to our seats, several men RUDELY implied that we were gluttons. Note: we didn't judge them when they refilled their popcorn bucket not once, but twice. And then wore the bucket on their heads. Had the hat situation not gone down, we'd planned on stealing the empty bucket on their departure so that WE could get a refill, but the fact that it rested on a stranger's head is crossing the line. Even for us. Also, they took the bucket with them when they left, so...yeah.

The game would go into several infuriating extra innings and end in a Yankees loss.

We tried to remain optimistic. The day could be salvaged with a win.

Unfortunately, the second game began where the first left off. The Yankees looking like the Mighty Ducks before Gordon Bombay took over coaching duties and the Blue Jays fans acting like Beyonce was in town. Assholes.

Basically, the only good thing to come out of these two games is the discovery that Dustin Ackley is adorable and has a killer smile and that Lisa likes Yuengling. The rest of the day was pretty much a shit show. Including the drive home.