Citi Field Tour

As food lovers, we wished to know how you felt about our meal intake at the last Yankees Stadium trip we made. Thankfully, we heard no complaints about feeling the need to vomit after reading last week’s post, so that’s a positive step in the right direction. Of the 3 meals that we devoured that night, 6 of you went with the old reliable foot long hot dog. Okay, we can understand this loyalty. We love hot dogs, but at the same time, how could you deny the glory that is loaded nachos and fried Oreos? 3 people went with the nachos because they’re “a Mexi-CAN, not a Mexi-CAN’T.” Only 1 person voted for fried Oreos? 1? 1?! Really, people? We’re completely shocked. Maybe you don’t know what fried Oreo is. We’ll explain. Perhaps this will change your mind. It’s an Oreo cookie (we all know what that is, right?) and as we all know, Oreo cookies are great. This great cookie is dipped in batter. A batter that is beautiful. Then, dripping in this beautiful batter, the cookie is deep fried. Just so we’re all on the same page, we’ll repeat that last one. Deep fried. After the frying, the cookie, still steaming, is covered in powdered sugar. Do you copy? Okay then...tell us what you think of fried Oreos after reading that.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of our systems…we present to you our guided tour of Citi Field with Papa L.

After several bathroom breaks on the part of Papa L. and Serena (it’s like they belong in a nursing home, sheesh. Lisa’s the only one with a normal bladder), we joined the 12:30 tour. It began in Citi Field’s control room.

The control room literally controls the entire stadium, including the brainwashing of fans. Haha. Just kidding. Or are we? We’ll never tell. From this room, individuals are able to manage the scoreboards, music, and even the home run apple. Some infinitely intelligent person asked why the legit home run apple is sitting on the sidewalk outside the stadium like a red-headed step child instead of where it belongs. Erik, our tour guide, blatantly lied and told us that the apple had been in such disrepair that it had to be taken apart entirely in order to be moved. Well, Erik, you go ahead and join “Team Citi Field Tomato.” We’ll continue to stand by the original and campaign for it to be returned to its rightful place in centerfield. We may even make customized shirts that say, “Bring Back the Original Apple.” You think we’re kidding…

Our next stop was to visit a hoighty toighty luxury box to see how the other half lived. Well…now that we’ve seen it, we hate those people even more, so thanks for that, Erik.

Rich people can either watch the game from their cozy perches within the suite or go outside and sit in their cushioned seats that are completely segregated from the general public. You can sort of see the seating rail in this picture:

As if Erik hadn’t rubbed enough salt in our wounds, he took us to the Delta Skybox next, which is basically a more fancy luxury box closer to the field:

Nice view, huh?

Apparently, “lots of people” (as per Erik) use the Delta Club as a reception hall. There’s an amazing bar (which is packed before games, he assures us) that includes a refrigerated walk-in wine closet and a dance floor. Papa L. asked Erik if KROD punched his father-in-law here. Erik laughed nervously and replied, no. He said, “That was the family room and we won’t be going there.”

Also in the club (on the cafe side) is this painting of David Wright, created by an employee of Delta (without being asked to). The Mets liked it so much that they acquired it to decorate the walls of the place. Pretty cool, huh?

From here, Erik took us down to field level to continue the parade through Rich People Territory. So kind of him. Since we’re confident that being allowed in this section will never happen to us again, Lisa got her picture taken:

Next stop? The actual field…

…and Mets dugout.

Being permitted in the dugout opened the floodgates for our a-hole behavior. Papa L. took after our terrible behavior instead of reprimanding us and called the bullpen…

…as did Lisa. The only difference between her and Papa L. is that Papa L. specifically called for a lefty in the late innings whereas Lisa just wanted the starter replaced after the second batter of the game.

Serena tried to squeeze into the bat bin, but her fat ass wouldn’t fit. Hmm…might’ve been those fried Oreos.

The security guard “had a good picture” for us to take and posed us at the top of the dugout as if we were waiting for a rally to be snuffed out. Notice our hair blowing in the wind as if we’re America’s Next Top Models. Oh, the irony. Pretty sure America’s Next Top Model doesn’t eat like we do…or at all for that matter.

On to the bullpen! Erik guided us there by walking along the right field foul line. Naturally, a few us couldn’t resist jumping at the outfield wall for an imaginary catch Jeff Francoeur-style. And by some of us, we mean Papa L. Look closely at this picture. What does the shadow remind you of? Perhaps a T-Rex? Maybe?

Bullpen:

After the bullpen, we were led into the Mets Clubhouse, where we weren’t allowed to take any pictures because it would be “an invasion of privacy.”

Of course, before entering the clubhouse, Serena couldn’t resist creating a ruckus and climbed into the golf cart. The security guard scolded us and then called us “the rowdy bunch.” Whatever the hell that means. Personally, we feel that we’re pretty sedate.

In the clubhouse, Lisa tried to leave a strand of her hair in David Wright’s locker without much success. The locker was just beyond our reach. We passed the team’s mailboxes and saw that Big Pelf’s box was empty. This made us sad and we tried to peer pressure the security guard into giving us a piece of paper and a pen so that we could leave him a note of encouragement (Boom.Yes.), but he just ushered us along like we were misbehaving children. What the hell? Mike Pelfrey DESERVED a letter from us. It was going to be POETRY! Mike (cos’ we’re on a first name basis now), if you’re reading this, we’re sorry for letting you down. Oh, and Mike? Try not to listen to anything David says about us. He’s nuts! AND we’re pretty sure he lies. He’s got quite the active imagination, we assure you.

Outside the clubhouse is something as majestic as Niagra Falls. It is the beer cooler for the entire stadium. Serena heard angels singing. For some reason, it’s locked behind a fence. Wonder why that is…

After unsuccessfully trying to break in, Serena was gently pried from the fence by the security guard and we were funneled into the press conference room where Jerry Manuel stutters on a regular basis.

Leading from the press conference room to the Jackie Robinson Rotunda is a hallway decorated with blown up copies of the covers of the team yearbook from every single season of the franchise’s existence. We noticed that the price of the yearbooks slowly, but steadily increased as the years progressed. The security guard (as you can see, he was on us like white on rice the entire day) suggested that we take pictures with the years of our birth. Armed with this idea, we enthusiastically ran the length of the hallway in search of our yearbooks. Lisa found 1978 first:

Close by was 1982:

The tour ended in the Mets Hall of Fame museum (you can view the pictures we took at the 6/27/10 Mets/Twins game here), which we’d already been to, but since Papa L. hadn’t, Lisa made sure to take pictures of him with his beloved players from the 1969 team…

…and the 1969 World Series Trophy.

Lisa found this World Series ticket stub from 1986 that made us laugh. The cost of it was $40. That’s what we pay for upper deck seats during the regular season now. Oh, how times have changed.

Before getting into this week’s baseball notes, we’d like to give #1 Fan Steph two very enthusiastic thumbs up for giving birth to Mia and Milla, gorgeous twin girls, on September 27th! A feat such as this deserves TBB Super Hero honors, don’t you think?

Post season slots are rapidly filling up as October draws near. On Saturday, the Rangers clinched the AL West with a 4-3 victory over the Athletics. The Phillies followed shortly after, clinching the NL East with their resounding 8-0 defeat of the Nationals on Monday night. This signals Roy Halladay’s first foray into October Baseball. This is mind blowing when you think about what he’s been able to accomplish throughout his career. While the AL East hasn’t quite been decided, both the Rays and Yankees secured a playoff berth with their wins on Tuesday night. That division is probably going to come down to the wire. Our only regret about going to France is that we’ll miss watching the outcome. We’ll have to read about it en Français, which should be interesting since Basically, Serena has only learned curse words and the phrase, “that’s what she said” from her coworker, Pat and Lisa knows “bonsoir.” The Reds defeated the Astros 3-2 in wall-off fashion on Tuesday, officially awarding them the NL Central. This is the first time in 15 years that the Reds will be going to the playoffs. The Braves continue to cling to a small lead over the Padres in the NL Wild Card race.

A few weeks ago, we presented our picks for the playoffs. How did we stack up?
AL East
Lisa chose the Rays and Serena picked the Yankees. Division’s still up in the air, but we at least got it right when we said that the Wild Card would be coming from here. Lisa picked the Yankees for the Wild Card and Serena picked the Rays.

NL East
Lisa picked the Braves and Serena went with the Phillies. Looks like Serena had the winner here. Both think that the Wild Card will come from here, but Lisa’s guess that it’d be the Phillies is clearly wrong. Let’s see if Serena goes 2 for 2 in this division with her choice of the Braves.

AL Central
Both of us accurately went with the Twins.

NL Central
Again, Serena got it right by guessing Reds, while Lisa inaccurately anticipated a late season comeback by the Cardinals.

AL West
Both of us went with the Rangers, but that wasn’t too hard to figure out, considering the team’s performance all season long.

NL West
This division hasn’t been decided yet, but both of us are putting our money on the Giants and their dominant pitching staff.

We catch the flight to Paris this evening, landing early tomorrow morning, so until the October 15th, we say au revoir! Since we won’t be around for it, we’d like to wish Brother a very happy birthday ahead of time.

“Because we’re bad, we’re bad. Cause Serena went on the golf cart (Bad. Bad. Really, really bad). You know we’re bad, we’re bad. You know it (Bad. Bad. Really, really bad). Cause we want that apple back (Bad. Bad. Really, really bad). And the whole tour has to answer right now just to tell you once again, who’s bad.”