Bernie Williams Bobblehead Night

April 12, 2019

Apparently the Yankees chose to release only a limited quantity of this spectacular piece of art so we had to make sure that we left Long Island by 3pm in order to get to the Stadium as close to gate opening as possible. Acquiring this bobblehead was a matter of life and death. We know that we say that a lot of these giveaways are imperative and "must haves," so you probably think that by this point, we're crying wolf. Rest assured, we are not. This is legitimate. One half of the TBB has his number tattooed on her rib cage. We promise you that there is no bigger Bernie fan than she. In fact, if he's interested, she'll absolutely accept an invitation to get her picture taken with him and receive his autograph. Especially now that she has a phone with a camera on it and no longer wears braces (that's another story for another day). She's available. Whenever he is.

Unfortunately, we allowed Wayze to dictate our course instead of just going the way we normally go. She's a giant buffoon and no one should listen to her because she took us through the backstreets of the Bronx, which is never something you should feel compelled to do. It's totally unnecessary and you're a better person for not having done it. By the time we reached Yankee Stadium, the police had started to close many of the roads in order to accommodate foot traffic. Wayze didn't know that, so she basically directed us right into a police barricade like a gigantic ass clown. Thankfully, we're not 100% stupid, so Serena was able to figure out how to circle around the entire stadium to get to a parking lot.

Serena borderline shoved Lisa out of the passenger door at a street corner so that Lisa could at least jump on line while she parked. The line was already getting out of control.

We got stuck parking in a garage that cost us $40. Naturally, this garage was on the opposite side of the stadium of where she dropped Lisa off, so Serena literally ran from her car to Lisa's spot on line. By the time she reached Lisa, she was sweating and breathless. If these stupid jack wagon teams would just make enough giveaways for everyone to enjoy, this kind of shit would not be necessary. How many times do we need to point this out before the teams get it?

Thankfully, we did manage to get our bobbleheads without any further difficulty, but that's hardly the point.

We were so early that we had nothing better to do than eat and eat we did. First, we stopped at the Buffalo Wild Wings stand on the main concourse and ordered the boneless chicken wings with french fries basket for only $20! It's so reasonable, how do you not get it?

Naturally, we had to stop by the City Winery stand again to grab a table and buy two glasses of rose. While Serena ordered our wine, Lisa examined our tickets more carefully and discovered that we had access to the Pepsi Lounge and Audi Club. Serena didn't think that was right because she was pretty sure that she bought us bleacher seats, but nevertheless, it couldn't hurt to try. Plus, we had nothing better to do and it had just started to rain. Turns out, Serena bought tickets in the 200 level (and thank goodness for that because she had thought she'd been robbed on Stub Hub for mere bleacher seats) The Pepi Lounge is located in the batter's eye. It used to be known as the 1893 Club and had ticketed assigned seats. It now operates on a first come, first serve basis and since it was raining, all of the seats were taken. Therefore, we decided to head to the Audi Club because it sounded douchey and no one ever lets us into douchey places because we're borderline trash.

 

The Audi Club has two sides to it. One is a bar and has first come, first serve seating. You pay as you order like a typical bar. This side was already swarming with people. The other side has a full all you can eat buffet for $65 and includes table seating as long as there are tables available. The $65 does not include alcohol, but in terms of food, there's pretty much everything under the sun.

For some reason, we decided to go for it. Maybe because we know it would be the only time we ever stepped foot into this club and we happened to have the spare cash. The view of the field from our table overlooked left field.

 

We ate our weight in sushi, ice cream, and cookies. We ate until we made ourselves sick. Like puppies.

 

 

 

Outside it rained harder. We're actually surprised that the game never saw a delay, but considered ourselves fortunate to have scored tickets (even if it was unintentional) with access to an indoor club that had a decent view of the game. Inside the club, we had the audio of the YES Network's in game commentary.

Bernie Williams threw out the ceremonial first pitch of the game. Paul O'Neill claimed that Bernie must have shoulder issues because his throw wasn't up to snuff. We're not really sure Paul had to point that out. It's been like, 100 years since either he or Bernie played. We'd like to see him throw a ball. ANYWAY, Bernie's adorable and the only decent moment of the game. The rest of the Yankees were god awful and stupid. We'd look up the final score for you, but there's really no point. It was embarrassing.

We took a couple of ridiculous photos exiting the stadium, which we're sure you'll find delightful.

 

 

You're welcome.