Bon Voyage!

Entering Week 5 of Operation Moustache Removal. The one who calls himself “Zito” has still not acknowledged our email, BUT our friends in the Bay Area have informed us that he was spotted canoodling in the Giants’ dugout sans moustache. We suspect that our letter had something to do with it. He may not have written us back, but it’s clear that he heard our call…he might actually not respond to us because we made him cry and he thinks we’re mean.

Before we get into the poll results, let’s talk about how NO ONE entered our Sweepstakes for TBB Super Hero of the Week. Do you understand what this means? It means that for entire week, you’ll be staring at the picture of the Mipi, Nicole’s doggie. For those of you unaware, Nicole is the Executive Director of Fred K’s Cancer, Inc. Since you’ve decided to be giant fails on this subject, we’d like you to donate to The Freds. Do it. Save balls and mouths across the world one dollar at a time.

Last week, there was a whole lot of hullabaloo about Jorge Posada being snatchy, so we decided to ask you what you thought his malfunction was. 3 of you felt that getting old makes you cranky. 2 of you think that it’s Jorge’s time of the month. Personally speaking, when WE’RE on the rag, we’re pretty cranky as well. Especially when we’re not fed. Therefore, it’s totally conceivable that Jorge’s in some serious need of Midol. 1 loan reed believes that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with him. It’s just that everyone needs a mental break once in awhile. 1 person thinks he’s constipated and no one voted for that Smelly Brian option and we’re not going to bother reiterating what the choice was because it’s not worth our time to retype nor is it worth your time to reread it.

So today’s the big day. No, we’re not leaving Blogger community (which we’re sure you’d be ecstatic to hear). We’re flying to Minneapolis and according to weather.com, we’re flying into shittastic weather. Regardless of the rain, we’ve got plans to canoe around Lake Calhoun in Minnesota. We strongly feel that we’ll be excellent canoers. Do not worry. We’ll back in time for your weekly TBB blog. It’ll even be a legitimate post as we’ll be discussing our visit to Target Field. Thrilled, aren’t you? Did we mention that we’re doing this entire trip out of a carry on bag in an effort to save money on obnoxious and bull sh*t luggage fees? Yes. The 2 worst packers ever to grace the United States is surviving on one pair of pumps and a carry on bag apiece. There is no room for error. No room for stains. No room for, “Awww this shirt makes me look fat.” Nope. Tough sh*t. We’re gonna have to look fat whether we like it or not. It’s go time, people.

To keep up to date with our traveling activities and commentary, be sure to follow us on Twatter. Twitter. Whatever. The little stupid blue bird that all the happening kids are using nowadays.

Yesterday morning, we had a very successful charity cardio kickboxing class at Lucille Roberts in Westbury, NY. We raised a total of $113! Much thanks to Kathy, gym manager, for allowing us to hold the class and to Sylvia Nasser for donating her time to teach the heart pumping, muscle tiring, and sweat-inducing class!

The One Who Shall Not Be Named is officially on the DL with a stress fracture in his lower back. He’s “not allowed to engage in any physical activities.” Well, Lisa’s sex life is going to have to be put on hold.

Happy Belated Birthday to Mamadukes, whose birthday was on Tuesday. Also, we hope that everyone showed their support to our military forces yesterday on Armed Forces Day! Regardless of your opinion of the war, these men and women sacrifice a lot and should be thanked and recognized!

Peace out!

M + M = Midwest Mania

So…it’s Week 2 of Operation Moustache Removal. As you know, last Sunday we emailed Barry Zito a letter requesting that he remove the heinous furry caterpillar from his upper lip. We asked you if you felt that Barry Zito would reply to this email. 5 of you replied, “Why wouldn’t he? It’s a well-crafted and though-out email.” 2 of you said, “Negative. I can’t believe you actually sent it.” It is now Day 7. We’ve no word from the one who calls himself “Zito.” Lisa is itching to send a follow-up email, but Serena feels like we’ve already done enough damage.

Don’t forget that we have a TBB Super Hero of the Week contest going on. Submit to us your photo along with a paragraph or so as to what makes you a super hero. Best/most creative entry (or best looking male ages 18 and older) will earn a spot as TBB Super Hero of the Week for the week of 5/22. The deadline for submission is Saturday, May 21st with the winner being announcing on Sunday’s blog before we take off for Minneapolis. We haven’t received any submissions yet, but we’re looking forward to hearing from you!

So we’ve started hammering out the details of our itineraries while we’re in Minneapolis and Milwaukee! Minneapolis seems like it’s going to be as wonderful as Seattle was and we only regret that we’re not spending more time there. While in town (in addition to the game of course), we plan on visiting Lake Calhoun (and hopefully, rent a canoe…imagine the pictures), the Como Park Zoo & Conservatory, and we even plan on enjoying a guided tour of the Twin Cities! If anyone Minneapolis locals have suggestions as to where we should go for food and drinks, we’re open to hearing them. Also, recommendations as to what to eat at Target Field are welcome.

In Milwaukee, we’ll naturally pay a visit to the Miller Brewery as well as take part in a “Walk on Water” guided tour of Milwaukee, which basically translates to “while seeing the sights, you’ll eat and drink at our favorite eateries and pubs/breweries.” Basically, this tour was made for us. Other than these excursions and Miller Park, we don’t have too much planned, so if anyone has recommendations, we’re all ears! Food and booze are a priority as always.

In Fred K’s Cancer related news, we’ll be attempting to solicit t-shirt sponsors later today. Hopefully, we’ll return with positive news.

Apparently Joe Girardi is “worried” about Phil Hughes. Us too. The boy will be visiting specialists in St. Louis to determine what his damn physical problems are all about. Hughes has been on the DL since April 15th with what the team is calling a “dead arm.” Specialist Dr. Robert Thompson is trying to determine whether Hughes as thoracic outlet syndrome, which affects blood flow and could be the reason for Hughes’ drop in velocity.