Mets Opening Day 2021

 April 11, 2021

Once again, there was hardly any traffic on the way to Flushing. No issues parking and parking was free this time around. 

We're not going to cover the New York State rules of engagement for sporting events again, but you can read about it here when we discussed it during the Yankees' Opening Day post. 

Back to the day at hand. Lisa prepared sausage and peppers, chicken wings, burgers, hot dogs, and garlic fries. It was a spread for the Queens of Queens (if you don't understand this reference, you're too young to read our blog). Again, we basically crushed it. At this point, our teams should be hiring us to prepare meals for them. And also, to pitch out of the bullpen. And possibly to help the players learn how to better accessorize. We're jacks of all trades. 

Mrs. Met came by our seats to see how we were doing. She had quite a lot to say. She was clearly pissed off, which means she fit right in with us. She stayed most of the game with us because she enjoyed our miserable company so much. 

Just like for the Yankees' game, the view from our seats were ideal. No one around to annoy us or question our knowledge for baseball. Or hit on us. 

The Mets typically win their home opener, so when they started losing, Lisa was convinced it was because we weren't there. So...things started to get a little dicey. We turned to Mr. and Mrs. Met for comfort. 

And things got out of control...

In the end, the Mets did actually go on to win their home opener. Of course, they did it in quite an interesting fashion this time around with Conforto stepping into a pitch with bases loaded, which allowed the winning run to walk brusquely home while wearing a fanny pack. 

Mets vs. Marlins 8-6-19

Lisa filled out a survey emailed to her from the Mets and as a thank you gift, the Mets granted her two field level seats to select mid-week games of her choice. At the time of the survey, the Mets were still sucking a bag of d*cks, so it was likely that the Mets' offices were simply trying to put butts in the seats. By the time the game rolled around, the Mets were contenders again, which means that this is the first time something actually worked out to our advantage. Serena found player t-shirts on sale at Modell's, so we finally got ourselves adorable Mets and Yankees shirts to wear to the games.

 

(FYI: this photo was featured on @MetsHotties on Instagram. That's how cool we are. And it basically means that we're famous).

Also at the game, we got suckered into signing up for Clear so that we can get into the New York ballparks faster (and also through airport security). It's amazing. We've already used it once at Yankee Stadium and we plan on using it for our Disney trip in October. Lines will be a thing of the past! At least at airports and local sporting events.

Thanks to Clear, we flew into Citi Field and headed right for food. We had a difficult time deciding what to eat so Lisa stood on the Blue Smokehouse line and ordered the mac and cheese topped by brisket and Serena stood on the taco stand and ordered the nachos topped by barbacoa and two bottles of water. Blue Smoke cost us $13 and the nachos cost us $24.

In retrospect, this was probably too much food.

Afterwards, we headed to our seats.

 

The Marlins had a pretty rough night. Both Wilson Ramos and Pete Alonso hit home runs in the 5-0  beatdown.

 

Remember how we ordered too much food? Then we did this:

 

We've been dying to get these home run apple cups since Citi Field started serving them, but every time we've gone, it's been a little too chilly for ice cream. Our only complaint is that we had to get soft serve, which Serena finds incredibly irritating. She thinks it's fake ice cream. One step above those ridiculous Dip N' Dots. Lisa doesn't mind it as much. They should offer legit ice cream as an option. Citi Field already has legit ice cream at other concession stands. This was also a $24 expense. Apparently, we like to throw money away like we're Antonio Brown. At least if it was real ice cream, $24 would have been less offensive.

Marlins Park

Marlins Park
501 Marlins Way
Miami, FL 33125

August 24, 2016
Before we talk about the stadium, it's worth noting that we forced Mamadukes to listen to four hours worth of Blackstreet, LL Cool J, Elvis, Buck Cherry, Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch, and Salt N Peppa on the drive down from Tampa to Miami. As well as our singing. She may never forgive us or invite us back.

Marlins Park is located in an area of Miami known as "Little Havana" on the site of the former Miami Orange Bowl. We stayed at the JW Marriott Marquis, which is located in downtown, only a few miles east of the ballpark, but with rush hour traffic, it still took us roughly 30-45 minutes to get to the stadium. In actuality, it should've only taken us 10. Knowing that traffic would be an issue (thanks to the advice of our awesome concierge), we left the hotel early so that we arrived at the stadium with plenty of time to spare.

We circled the stadium before parking in the center field garage (third base, home plate, and first base garages are prepaid parking only). Parking cost $15 and accepted both cash and credit.

 

 

 

As you can see, from the outside, the stadium looks like an aquarium. Or a fish bowl. Basically, it doesn't look like a stadium (though, in their defense, it's not nearly as bad as Hard Rock Stadium where the Dolphins play. THAT looks like a friggin' space station). We did not have high hopes for this place, truth be told.

Outside the stadium, lining the sidewalk, are the letters from the Miami Orange Bowl. This is actually a pretty cool concept, but unfortunately, the letters are scattered around in such a haphazard way that there's no way you'd figure out what the hell they're trying to spell without asking someone.

 

Once inside, we did a tour of the entire promenade area before getting food. Unlike our stadiums in New York, Marlins Park was pretty empty. Yes, it was early, but when we go to a Mets or Yankees game, as soon as the gates open, fans pour into the stadium. Here, not so much. Therefore, we moved pretty quickly through the place.

The first item of interest that we found was the Bobblehead Museum, which is located across from sections 14 and 15. Needless to say, it was not what we expected. Granted, there are a ton of awesome bobbleheads on display and that was cool to see. here are some of our favorites:

 

 

 

 

The disappointing part about the museum is that it's not really a museum. It's more like a bobblehead display case. That trembles slightly so that the dolls nod for all time, which is probably really uncomfortable for them. We took video of the entire display case so that you could see what we mean, as well a photo:

In center field, you find yourself behind that monstrous and hideous looking home run structure that they refer to as artwork. It's not artwork. It's ass. It looks stupid from the front, but from the back, it looks like something we drew on a diner place mat with crayons.

 

Right next to the homerun "sculpture," is the FOX broadcast booth. It's right there for anyone to walk up to and stand next to, which is kind of weird and interesting at the same time.

After that, there was really nothing left to do but get food and go to our seats. Mamadukes is obsessed with Don Mattingly, so as a surprise, we bought field level seats behind the Marlins' dugout. The tickets were only $76/each. Do you know what you get in New York for $76? Parking during a postseason game. You non-New York people are spoiled.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mamadukes ordered chicken tenders and fries (as per usual) for $15. Lisa ordered a pressed Cuban sandwich for $11 and Serena got a Miami Mexi-dog for $11.25.

 

 

Lisa's sandwich was tasty. There wasn't anything special about it. It was your standard Cuban sandwich. Serena's hot dog was awesome. The foot long hot dog is wrapped in a tortilla and topped with monterrey jack cheese, cabbage, chili, salsa, cilantro, roasted jalapeno juice, and chives. The only negative about this hot dog was the tortilla. It was not a good choice for hot dog wrapping. It basically crumbled in Serena's hands after two bites.

The stadium boasts a nightclub called the Clevelander. This is not a joke. It's legitimately a nightclub. It's open during the game and after the game, the fans either exit the stadium or continue the party at the nightclub. As we left the stadium, we could hear the dance music blaring from inside.

Behind home plate, is a fish tank. Somewhere, PETA is having a shit fit over this. How is this an acceptable location for a fish tank? When you visit an aquarium, there are signs everywhere, "do not tap the glass." What about foul tips? What about these a-holes sitting in the seats right behind the tank? You don't think that in all of the games that are hosted in this ballpark, at least one fan isn't going to kick or tap the glass? If you're going to have a random fish tank at a ballpark, it should be located in a place where fans can safely view the fish and the fish are kept out of harm's way.

Lisa's mascot was nearly $22, while Serena's hat was $20. Perspective.

As the game went underway, there were a few things that stood out to us. For starters, the stands are empty. The Marlins are in contention for a Wild Card and yet this is what the stands look like:

 

Here's another item of interest: cheerleaders. Why on earth would a baseball team have cheerleaders (please see our post on Miller Park for another rant on this subject)?

 

They weren't even good. They didn't dance in sync with one another, they're outfits were heinous, and we're pretty sure that Rick Astley could've choreographed better dance routines.  Also, men are pig birds. Every time these poor girls paraded out onto the dugout (just to pay for college), the men in our section would stand, whistle, hoot, and take video on their cell phones. It was bordering on embarrassing. Like they'd never seen a girl before.

We left our seats in the 6th inning because Lisa really wanted mini doughnuts. We found a little stand that served a bag for $6. Lisa got the cinnamon mini doughnuts, but you can also get powdered sugar or chocolate. Serena got herself a churro for $4 at a nearby stand.

 

On the way back to our seats, there seemed to be a commotion on the field. Everyone on their feet and cheering. Thinking we missed something important, we pushed our way through a group of people to get a view of the field. Apparently, what we missed was the majority of The Great Sea Race.

We can't even identify some of these sea creatures. There's definitely a shark in there and an octopus. Who knows what that red thing or the yellow thing is?

By the way, did we mention that the Marlins were playing Lisa's favorite American League team, the Royals? Did we also mention that there was a ridiculously high number of Royals fans in attendance? No? Well, the ridiculously high number of Royals fans acted like buffoons. Giant ones. They were so aggressive and obnoxious that we felt compelled to become #1 Marlins fans. Serena found herself barking orders at the players on the field and calling Fernandez's pitches. Lisa trash talked Royals players as they stepped into the batter's box. We high-fived fellow Marlins fans like total imposters. Go home, KC. You're drunk.

The game itself was a good one. The game was tied 0-0 into the bottom of the 6th when the Marlins finally scratched across 3 runs. Fernandez worked himself in and out of a couple of jams and truly earned his W. Since the Royals' fans behaved like such dicks, it was pretty easy for us to cheer for the Marlins.

 

 

 

 

And here's one more of Don Mattingly for Mamadukes:

The stadium itself is better than we anticipated. It's our fifth game seen in a dome. It's hard to watch a baseball game indoors. It was over 90 degrees that day and yet, it was cold within the stadium because the air conditioner was on so high. It's just a very surreal experience. However, having said that, it was one of the nicer domed stadiums. Very clean, very easy to navigate. Everything was reasonably priced as far as ballpark pricing goes. It's just...how do we put this? It's just tacky. The whole design and decor is just tacky. That's it right away.