Adventures in Division Play

As usual, we’ll start off with last week’s poll results. We asked you if you watched the playoffs even though your team may not have made it. Out of 10 votes, 4 of you said that you’ve moved on to the football season because you were highly dissatisfied with your baseball team of choice. The football season is still early and therefore fantasies of a Super Bowl in the near future are still vibrant. Okay. We can understand that. We don’t agree, but we can understand. 3 of you bleed for the MLB, so OF COURSE you’ll be tuning into the playoffs. You are truly dedicated souls. 1 dirty bird would only tune into the playoffs if it included a naked person running across the field during the game. What if the naked person was Keith Hernandez? Would you still stand by that decision? 2 of you are unable to watch the playoffs because you are currently locked up in a mental institution and are relegated to endless hours of Parliament sessions and the Antique Roadshow on the BBC. We apologize for your “situation.” Best of luck in your padded cell.

We have a few exciting developments to inform you regarding “Team Fred.” The first, and most important, news is that we’ve finally come up with a new name (that to our knowledge, no one from Sloan Kettering uses). We’ve decided on “Fred K’s Cancer” (as in strike out, people! This is a baseball-themed blog, after all). Our next step is to come up with an image that best represent our team. Tech Support Sean suggested using a backwards “K” (as in cancer strikes out looking) in the colors of the cancers’ ribbons. Thoughts? Better suggestions? Email us! Wait…there’s more good news regarding the team formerly known as “Team Fred.” The Oral Cancer Foundation is now on board as well! Okay, we admit that this is probably better news than the fact that we’ve finally come up with a name for our cause. Both the OC Foundation and Sean Kimerling Testicular Foundation are sending us packages to help in our fundraising. The SKT Foundation is sending us hats for us to wear while traveling and the OC Foundation has included pins in theirs. We’ll be fastening the pins to the hats so that we can advertise the foundations simultaneously. Once we receive the packages, we’ll be sure to post pictures here and on Facebook so that you can see.

Speaking of Facebook, it has come to our attention that several people have had difficulty in finding our page! We’ve discovered that you cannot search for “Traveling Baseball Babes” because nothing happens when you do that. Apparently, you have to search “traveling baseball” and we’ll pop up under “pages.” A bit ridiculous, yes, but we’re not the creators of Facebook. We apologize for any inconvenience and confusion that this may have caused.

Today’s Baseball Notes: Naturally, this section will be dealing entirely with the Division Series…considering there’s really nothing else to talk about. Let’s cover what’s already happened first. The Yankees lead their series over the Twins 1-0. While the Twins may have gotten their rears kicked on Wednesday night, they put up an awesome fight against Detroit on Tuesday so major props to them for not giving up! We suspect that they will not go down in this ALDS without push back either. Yesterday afternoon, the Rockies tied up the series against the Phillies by defeating Cole Hamel 5-4. This made Lisa super happy. Since she is a fan wh*re, we’re pretty sure that she’ll be sporting a Rockies poncho soon. Last night, the Angels finally broke the curse and won a playoff game against Boston, defeating Jon Lester 5-0. Go Angels! Unfortunately, the Dodgers took game 2 last night all thanks to Matt Holliday’s awesome blunder in the bottom of the 9th with two outs. Well, Matt…the positive thing to remember is that you’re still good looking. Granted, if the Cardinals lose this series, you’ll go down in history as the Cardinals’ Bill Buckner, but DAMN! You fine!

Now…onto what’s going on this weekend! Game 2 of the Yankees/Twins series will be on TBS tonight at 6:07 pm. AJ Burnett will be taking the mound (with Molina behind the plate) against Nick Blackburn. The Angels/Red Sox game 2 will follow at 9:37 pm with Jered Weaver pitching against Josh Beckett. On Saturday, game 3 for the Dodgers and Cardinals will get underway in St. Louis. Thanks to good ole’ Matt, it’s do or die for the Cards. Vincente Padilla will be taking the mound for LA, while Joel Pineiro will try to stop the bleeding for St. Louis. More game 3 action will be happening in Colorado. Jason Hammel will get the start for the Rockies against Pedro Martinez and his midget. On Sunday, the Red Sox and Angels play game 3 at Fenway. We suspect that this will be the true test for the Angels. Clay Buchholz will take on Scott Kazmir. Should the Cardinals win tomorrow, game 4 will take place following the early Red Sox/Angels game. Chad Billingsley will go for the Dodgers and as of this afternoon, the Cardinals have yet to announce their starter. Rumor has it that they’ve called Brad Ziegler in since it’s obvious no one on the A’s is currently doing anything. It should be interesting since we’ve only seen Ziegler pitch one inning at any given time. Game 3 for the Yankees and Twins will take place in the Metrodome and involves Crash Test Dummy Carl Pavano and Andy Pettitte. Maybe Pavano will break a nail and have to go on the DL before then. Game 4 of the Rockies/Phillies game will be aired quite late on Sunday (10:05 ET) and the pitching match up has yet to be determined.

Leslie Gore summarized last night best when she sang, “It’s Matt Holliday’s party and he can cry if he wants to, cry if he wants to. You would cry too if you blew the game like he did!”

Mustaches & the 2009 Post Season

Last week, we asked you, our faithful following, what you felt was the best free giveaway at a baseball game. We thought we gave you some pretty awesome options, but you still managed to bewilder us. With a whopping 7 votes, Keith Hernandez’s mustache won. Really guys? A mustache? How creepy can you get? Do you really want to leave a ball game with someone else’s facial hair? If you want a mustache so bad, grow one. Well you want it? You got it!
Congratulations. As if we couldn’t look any worse, we’ve actually taped mustaches to our faces just to make you happy. Sadly, we look more manly than Keith Hernandez himself. You people are twisted! Though we suppose it is partially our fault for giving you this option as you’ve demonstrated repeatedly that you cannot be trusted when left to your own devices regarding joke choices. Anyway, the closest runner up had 2 votes and that was for Tiny Tim. We’re pretty sure we know who you are. Honestly, if you offer us an MLB player to come home with us after the game, we will almost always take that option over facial hair (granted, there are always exceptions). How could Keith’s facial hair beat Tiny Tim so badly? He’s so cute and skinny! The mustache is so…skeevy. Only 1 individual voted for an awesome Yankees light up pen. What’s that about? It’s a pen that lights up! You can’t possibly go wrong with that. 1 person wanted a Root Beer Float (which we don’t really blame them as they are delicious). Finally, no one voted for the Mets Build-a-Bear or the A’s pink pashmina. Do you people have issues with stuffed animals and the color pink? The pashmina was for breast cancer!

As you may or may not have noticed, the Traveling Baseball Babes are branching out. We’ve finally joined Facebook. You can find the link to our page on the side bar or by simply searching for “Traveling Baseball Babes” on Facebook. Please become our fan! We only have 20 so far. We’ve posted pictures of the visited stadiums that didn’t make it to our blog as well as pictures of what else we did while on the road.

Also on our sidebar, we’ve linked to our Team Fred charities, The Oral Cancer Foundation and Sean Kimerling Testicular Cancer Foundation, so that you can read more about them.

Ask and you shall receive. When we asked in one of our polls about how we could make our site better, most of you requested that we add a photo album entirely dedicated to mascots. If you scroll to the bottom of the page, you will see exactly that. We are currently working with Tech Support to shrink the size so that it can fit in the sidebar better, but until that happens, it will remain at the bottom. Enjoy it, fellow furries!

Now that October is here, the playoffs are just within our grasps. We know who almost all the teams involved are, but there are a few question marks. We know that the Yankees will host the winner of the AL Central. But who will it be? Will it be the Twins or the Tigers? Despite Morneau being out, Serena still wants the Twins to win. Maybe Morneau will make a miraculous recovery and be able to play? No? Probably not? One can always dream. We also know that the Angels will host the Red Sox. Talk about an ugly series. Interpret that as you will. In the National League, the question marks are much more prevalent. It is still up in the air as to which team (Rockies or Dodgers) will clinch the West and the Wild Card. The Phillies and Cardinals will have to bide their time to see who their opponents will be.

How did the TBB stack up in their playoff picks? After the All Star Break, Lisa stuck to her guns in saying that the Yankees will take the AL East. Serena strongly felt that the division title and the Wild Card would go to either the Yankees or the Red Sox. Looks like we hit a home run with that one. Both of us felt that the Twins would take the Central. While nothing’s definite yet, the Twins definitely still have a shot. All they have to do is win the rest of their games and see two Detroit losses. Lisa, for a lack of a better word, sucked hard core in regards to the AL Wild Card situation. In the beginning of the year, she had actually chosen Oakland…who’s very bad. Don’t get us wrong, we like them, but they’re still bad. After the All Star Break, Lisa let her poncho get the best of her and she chose the White Sox. Yeah…at least she’s still got an awesome poncho. We agreed that the Angels would take the AL West, but that wasn’t too hard to figure out from the get go. For the NL East, Lisa actually went with the Phillies, as did Serena. Score! Again…Lisa had a few issues with the Wild Card situation. She actually thought the Mets would take it. Not so much. We both struck out in regards to the Central. Both of us felt that the Cubs would take the title and Serena thought the Wild Card would go to the Cardinals. The Cardinals have the division, so we suppose that we can give Serena ½ a point for that. Lisa had high hopes for the San Francisco Giants winning the division and it did seem that for awhile, the Giants were making a run for the Wild Card, but unfortunately fell flat when it mattered most. Serena didn’t want to admit it at the time, but thought the West would go to the Dodgers. In our last remaining days of the regular season, time will only tell if Serena will get the full point or just half a point on that one. Not once did the Rockies ever enter either of our minds.
Today’s Baseball Notes: On Sunday, the Yankees clinched the AL East after completing the sweep of the Red Sox. We can only hope that we do not experience another Groundhog Day and witness the Yankees lose in the first round AGAIN. On Monday, the Angels clinched the AL West with an 11-0 route of the Texas Rangers. That’s gotta hurt. Despite rumors, Kate Hudson’s rep denies that she’s pregnant with AROD’s child. Well…congrats to AROD for not having two baby mamas. Josh Beckett had been scratched from his Monday start against the Toronto Blue Jays with back spasms. It makes us wonder how he got these back spasms. Hmmm…as of now, he’s still scheduled to start against Cleveland tomorrow night. The Rangers’ Omar Vizquel is planning on taking up bull fighting when he returns to his home in Venezuela for the winter. We sincerely hope that he doesn’t take a horn to the side since he is one of the best short stops in the game. However, considering last year he went searching for anacondas like Austin Stevens Snakemaster and survived, we think he’ll be just fine. The Rangers were eliminated from contention on Tuesday night when they lost to the Angels 5-2. This loss also guaranteed the Red Sox the AL Wild Card spot. On Wednesday night, Lisa’s oh so favorite team (please read into the heavy layer of sarcasm), the Phillies clinched the NL East again with their 11-3 win over the Astros. Not to harp on embarrassing blow outs, but it is what it is. Since we’re going to continue on the point of mortifying baseball games, the Mets were swept by the Washington Nationals at Nationals Ballpark this week.

In preparation for the post season, we kick off October with the Black Eyed Peas and “Let’s get it started in here!”

The Circle of TBB

Last week we asked you if Lisa should ditch her god mother duties for the sake of stadium touring. Of 7 total votes, 3 of you felt that the fact that we were asking you this question makes Lisa a selfish older sister/not nice word. Did we not mention that last year for Lisa’s 30th birthday, Sister got married? Not to be tit for tat or anything, but Sister definitely stole Lisa’s thunder and caused everyone (but Serena) to forget her birthday. ANYWAY, in close second, two of you highly intelligent beings agreed that we should definitely ditch Sister because this is our opportunity to go see the Giants, Tiny Tim, and Steamy Guido Zito in action. While we commend you for your high IQ’s, we must admit that perhaps that’s a bit severe and over the top. Even for us, that might just be too mean. Besides…Lisa will most likely be thrown out of the family if she does that. 1 person felt that we should investigate which month had better giveaways before making any decisions and 1 person thought Lisa should call the bullpen to “coach” Sister in relief while we party it up in LA with hot mama Erin (who does not actually have children nor is she pregnant) and her trusty man, Matt. Perhaps Billy Wagner is available and he’d much better at delivering babies than delivering outs in the 9th inning with men in scoring position.

We’d like to discuss our progress regarding Team Fred, which we’re not allowed to call Team Fred because there already is a Team Fred. So we started off our charity work by emailing Lance Armstrong and the American Cancer Society to discuss potential fundraising events. Neither has replied, which is a bit disheartening because we’re actually trying to do something meaningful. It’s not like we asked The One Who Shall Not Be Named to be our Facebook friend and then he ignored us. Because that we would completely understand. Why are charities ignoring us? So…we tried a different tactic. Perhaps Lance Armstrong and the American Cancer Society are too wrapped up in their events to pay attention to someone as small time as the TBB. *sob* We decided that we would just fundraise by ourselves and split our earnings between the Oral Cancer Foundation and the Sean Kimerling Testicular Cancer Foundation. We’ve emailed both organizations to see if we can gain their support. We plan on walking the Jones Beach State Park bike path on June 20th before the Mets battle the Yankees at Yankees Stadium in the Subway Series. We feel all warm and fuzzy inside for our good deeds. *applause* Side note: if anyone is interested in supporting Serena and her walk for breast cancer in honor of Grannydukes, you can find the link to her fundraising page on the sidebar.

Now that we’ve consulted with our readers and our employers, our 2010 stadium tour is becoming a bit more solidified. Granted, nothing is booked yet as baseball tickets have yet to go on sale (and why haven’t they? They’ve already released the schedules. Why not the tickets too…and the promotional giveaway schedule while they’re at it), but plans are afoot. We will be going May and since we could not get a full two weeks off at work, we were forced to change around our Dodgers and Padres series. As a result, we’re basically attending a game every other day and traveling between LA and San Diego. So…we’ll be seeing the Athletics/Angels, Giants/Padres, and Padres/Dodgers. Yes…we’re stuck seeing the Padres twice. While in LA, we’ll be staying with hot mama Erin and checking out Disney Land. We’ve already found an awesome hotel that is located near Sea World in San Diego that we will be cashing in our Wyndham Rewards to pay for. Apparently, it’s one of the nicest hotels we’ve ever stayed in. It’s a shame that we’re only staying there overnight. In June, Serena will be returning to LA briefly to visit hot mama Erin for a weekend and to see the Yankees play the Dodgers. She will not have to pretend to be a Dodgers fan during this trip.

On a lighter note, today is quite cool outside and we’re finally not sweating through our corporate attire. So take that, Ben Affleck (again, see glossary)! For those of you who think you know who Ben Affleck is, think again (ahem, MJ)!!

Today’s baseball notes: Laurie (you must remember Laurie, but for you new folks, please see glossary for more information) told Lisa that her fellow little league papa, Alan recently participated in a golf outing where he met Ron Darling and was nice enough to mention our blog to him. To the best of our knowledge, Ron Darling has not checked out the site nor does he care to because he is much too busy being #1 Mets announcer and having to pull his weight in the SNY booth because his co-announcers are complete a$$ clowns. Kudos to Alan for trying to market the TBB though. On Tuesday night, the Yankees finally clinched a playoff spot in their 6-5 route of the Angels. Bobby Cox has announced that after the 2010 season, he will be retiring as Braves’ manager. This is completely strange to us. Bobby Cox is the Braves. This is just as strange as if Chipper Jones announced his retirement. Not that we like Chipper Jones or anything, but he and the Braves are like Jenny and Forrest Gump. Chipper should be playing third long after he’s confined to a wheelchair at the age of 95.

We head off into the weekend and a Red Sox/Yankees series with the delightful and uplifting words of ABBA, “cancer foundations take a chance on us! If you change your mind, we’re the first in line, honey we’re still free! Gonna do our very best, it ain’t no lie! If you put us to the test, we can raise lots of money!”

The West Coast Has the Sunshine & the TBB Will Get So Tan

We were unaware that our readers think that we’re No Talent A-holes with severe mental issues. Exactly why do we even have readers if you think so poorly of us? Are our mental issues that comical that you need to tune in every week to see what nonsense we speak next? 7 of you voted on last week’s poll in which we asked you if MLB players should accept us as friends on Facebook. Let’s just say the results have not been kind. For starters only 1 felt that we seem like nice girls, therefore players should definitely accept us. 3 of you seem to think that we’re so crazy that no MLB player in their right mind should accept our friendship. All because of Tim Lincecum Appreciation Day. We just don’t get it. He absolutely loved this holiday. Why would you think it’s crazy? The remaining 3 voters chose the option, “Forget answering the question. Why are you Facebook stalking strangers?” For you three, we have only one thing to say to you: if you are going to try to tell us that you don’t Facebook stalk strangers, then you sit on a throne of lies and you smell like beef and cheese. Okay, so maybe you don’t try to find Justin Morneau’s non-existent Facebook page and maybe you’re not upset that you found The One Who Shall Not Be Named’s page and saw that his profile picture was of him and a scantily clad hot chick. But we’ll bet that you’ve at least Facebook stalked your exes! Or spouses of your exes (who are definitely most likely strangers)! Don’t deny it. The good news is that no one voted for us being ugly. We may need to take prescription drugs, but at least we’re not “ugly.” Granted, it doesn’t mean we’re good-looking either. Just not ugly.

Onto more important matters! On Tuesday night, the MLB released the 2010 regular season schedule. Clearly this means TBB preparations may begin. We will either be visiting Erin and the West Coast in either April or May. The series in question are:
Angels vs. A’s 4/9-4/11 (before you accuse us of stalking Brad Ziegler, let us just tell you that this is how it worked out! Why would we stalk him when he can’t even tell his #1 fans about Root Beer Float Day, $1 Hot Dog Day, Pink Pashmina Day, or Player T-Shirt Day? We have to hear about it from the A’s mass email distribution)
Dodgers vs. Diamondbacks 4/13-4/15
Padres vs. Giants 4/19-4/21 (potential reunion for the TBB and Tiny Tim. BONUS: Barry Zito, which is actually only a bonus for Serena)
OR
Angels vs. A’s 5/14-5/16 (Yes, the A’s again. Shut up, you skeptics! We’re not stalking)
Dodgers vs. Astros 5/17-5/18
Padres vs. Cardinals 5/25-5/27
Now…there pros and cons for both of these options. Pros for April? Our trip would be right around the corner! Serena would get to see Erin that much quickly. Tiny Tim Lincecum and Barry Zito! Cons for April? Sister is pregnant. She is potentially due 4/8 and for some selfish reason, she’s asked Lisa to be her support system during the birth. Please keep in mind that Lisa has no children and has no idea what the labor process is all about. Pros for May? Lisa doesn’t miss the birth of her godchild. We have more time to collect spare change…and that’s basically it for pros. Cons? There doesn’t seem to be any cons for May with the exception of not being in the same stadium as Tiny Tim and Barry Zito. Oh! If we go to LA in May, we’ll miss the Twins/Yankees series at Yankees Stadium, which will be a bummer. Either way, providing nothing sends him to the DL or another team, we’ll be in the same town as BFFer.

Other fun items from the 2010 schedule include the knowledge that the Twins will be playing the Mets at Citi Field and Serena will no longer have to Google Justin Morneau because he will be in the New York area. Hopefully, he won’t bring his cute wife. Other good news regarding Citi Field is that the Mets will FINALLY be home on Lisa’s birthday. Can we say, Happy Birthday to Lisa on the jumbotron? Perhaps a Mr. Met visit to our seats?

Major props to Serena’s co-worker, MJ (father of the Shea Stadium Mr. Met in our mascot entourage), who was nice enough to give Lisa an autographed photo of Ron Darling. His charity does not mean that we will stop stealing Mr. Met from his office for our stadium trips, but it was still a good deed. As you can see in the photo, Ron has been added to Lisa’s blossoming Mets memorabilia collection. Can you find the TBB in the picture? Hmmm….
Speaking of charity and good deeds, on October 18th, Serena (and her friend, Maureen) will be participating in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk at Jones Beach State Park. If you wish to contribute to the cause, click here. The walk prompted us to think about what the TBB can do together (other than Serena being a cruncher for St. Jude’s and Lisa being a counter of crunches) to be people helping people. Both Papadukes and Papa L are named Fred and are cancer survivors. We felt that since it was an issue close to our hearts, we would walk in their names for testicular and oral cancer. Unfortunately, after conducting all sorts of research, we couldn’t find anything geared specifically to these diseases. So…our options are to walk for cancer in general (which we cannot find a walk for either! If you know of one in the New York area, please email us!) or do something on our own. We wanted to be called Team Fred, but apparently some guy from Sloan-Kettering runs for cancer and is “Team Fred.” So not only can we not find a walk to participate in, but we also no longer have a team name. We think we need some community service guidance because apparently we’re not very good at it.

Today’s Baseball Notes: As all you probably already know, Derek Jeter broke Lou Gehrig’s Yankees franchise all-time hits record on September 11th against the Orioles. On September 13th, Ichiro Suzuki of the Mariners set the MLB record for having a 200-hit season for the 9th straight year against the Rangers. Fellow TBB, Tiny Tim returned to the mound on September 14th against the Rockies. He lasted 7 innings, allowing 6 hits, 1 run, giving up 4 walks, and striking out 11. We’d say his back’s no longer bothering him. The Giants defeated the Rockies 9-1. Justin Morneau is out for the rest of the season (SOB!) with a stress fracture in his lower back (which Serena would love to fix for him). He’ll have to rest the back for three months, but surgery does not appear to be necessary. In further Bay Area news, the Giants activated Randy Johnson from the 60-day DL on Wednesday night (September 16th) and plan to use him out of the bullpen. Finally, Mike Hampton of the Astros is apparently the equivalent of being the Bella (from Twilight) of baseball. He underwent surgery for his torn left rotator cuff and other damage (what this exactly means, we don’t know). He will miss the entire 2010 season. Mike Hampton, you may be good-looking and when healthy, a kick a$$ athlete, but damn! When do you actually play????

We part ways with you with the inspiring words of LL Cool J. “We’re going back to Cali, back to Cali…to see Erin.”