Yankees v Athletics 8-31-19

Lisa chose this game because the free giveaway was a lightweight hoodie. We assumed that the hoodie would be given to the first 40,000 guests, but unfortunately it was 18,000 and Serena worked way too late for us to get a free giveaway. The only reason Lisa isn't disappointed by this is the fact that the hoodie was a little too lightweight for her taste.

Thanks to Clear, we flew through the security line again. The feeling of power and superiority that goes with passing all of the peasants on the regular security line is truly intoxicating. We got through so quickly that despite leaving Serena's house one hour prior to game time, we managed to get into the stadium and to our food choice prior to first pitch. It was amazing.

We had a hard time choosing food this time around because we've pretty much eaten everything by this point, so we ended up at Mighty Quinn's BBQ again because it's so reliable and they had the shortest line. Lisa ordered baby back ribs and Serena ordered the Burnt Ends sandwich and a side of french fries. With our water bottles, we spent a total of $58. This seems to be a pattern with us lately.We grabbed a table and ate at the nearby AT&T Sports Lounge.

 

 

After our meal, we grabbed beers and headed to our seats.

 

 

The game was very exciting. It even went into extra innings.

We realize that we are the Traveling Baseball Babes and you probably tune into this blog and expect to read baseball-related items once in awhile, but you're not going to find that here today. What you're going to find is an entire blog post ripping apart our seat neighbors because we were surrounded by a-holes. It all began with the couple sitting behind us. Someone came up the stairs looking for his seats, but he had a difficult time. Instead of helping him, the wife started yelling at him to sit down. The husband loudly claimed, "you can't stand there the whole game!" For starters, he was there for maybe two minutes before these two started screaming at him. Secondly, if they wanted him to move so badly, they should've offered him assistance instead of being d*cks about the situation. As the man headed back down the stairs to find an usher to help him, the husband muttered a racist remark that we're not going to repeat here. That's the kind of people we were dealing with.

An elderly man with a cane accidentally tripped on a step and fell into the husband and his platter of chicken fingers. Instead of being concerned for this man's safety, the couple acted outraged. As if this man wanted to land in a plate of chicken fingers. After the old man collected himself and continued his way up the stairs, we heard the wife say, "we almost lost the chicken fingers." Really?

Then he started sh*t with us and that simply would not do because we cannot let anything go. We hold grudges for lifetimes and beat dead horses. We're dogs with a bone. The worst part is the fact that we're both exactly the same in this department so when one of us has a raging fire going, instead of helping to put the fire out, the other simple throws gasoline on top of the fire and watches it spread. Our seats had a railing in front of us and blocked the view of home plate. In order to see anything, we had to lean forward and look over the railing, which is exactly what Serena was doing when the man decided to yell at her. "You need to sit back. I can't see anything." Really? You're a foot taller than Serena and you're sitting in the row above us. How is that possible? From that point on, we made it a point to stand for everything. Are you sitting 20 seats away and need to get by for the bathroom? No problem. We'll stand the entire time and wait for you to reach us. Lisa will even encourage you. "Take your time. We're in no rush." Is there a wave about to go down? We're so down. In fact, let's start the wave. Every single play, we stood and high fived one another. To anyone who lingered in the aisle looking for their seats, we warned them loudly, "Oh, you better watch out. The seat police are going to yell at you." During the seventh inning stretch, they moved onto the stairs because they couldn't see around us. Couldn't see what? We're not sure because what exactly is so exciting on the field during the seventh inning stretch?

By the time Lisa returned from getting us ice cream in a helmet cup ($18 total) in the 8th inning, they had left.

Lisa was forced to get this pink helmets because that's all they had. Which is odd. They also had no change so Lisa was forced to use her card to pay for them. Also odd.

Anyway, back to our seat neighbors.The people in the row next to us were sitting in our actual seats but since there were two empty seats at the end of the aisle, we didn't complain. There was about seven people total in this group and we didn't interact with all of them. Most of the nonsense came from the two men directly next to us. One was an older gentleman wearing a Mets jacket, but complained loudly about the Mets the entire time. And also about the Yankees. He was very angry but seemed to be somewhat supportive of the A's. The one next to him was a young guy wearing full Athletics' attire. He complained about Yankee Stadium, but had never been to Oakland (if he'd had, there's no way he would've complained about our stadium because Oscar the Grouch's garbage can is nicer than the Coliseum). He knew all of the players' specific cheers that only an A's fan would know, but spoke with a New York accent. It's okay to root against the home team (even though the seventh inning stretch song specifically says you shouldn't), but don't be an a-hole about it. They were simply over the top about their anti-Yankee-ness. Finally, Serena had to ask the question. "Did you fly in from San Jose or San Francisco?" They laughed. They were from the Bronx. They were Mets fans who just hated the Yankees. So Serena asked why the whole A's outfit for a team they don't care about. The old man laughed and basically called the young kid an idiot. Somehow we mentioned that we went to all thirty ballparks, which is something we tend to blurt out a lot. To anyone who'll listen really. And to some who don't really want to talk to us at all. The old man got so excited by this and he introduced us to one of his friends at the other end of the aisle. This man had been to over 7,000 baseball games and had a spreadsheet tabulating all of the ballparks he'd been to, the date of the games, the score, etc. It was pretty incredible. Our thirty ballparks didn't seem so fancy after checking out this spreadsheet.

Oh, and the Yankees won in extra innings thanks to back to back Brett Gardner and Mike Ford solo home runs.

 

The End.

Mets vs. Athletics 7-22-17

Thor Bobblehead Day. A day that will live in infamy. Since bobbleheads are clearly a hot commodity, even bobbleheads for players that no one cares about, we made sure to arrive at the stadium super early. Before the doors open early. Unfortunately, we were not the only ones to come up with this idea. When we pulled into the parking lot, a line had already formed. In fact, many lines had already formed. And they were very long.

We stood on a line for two and a half hours. Allow us to show you the journey:

 

 

In case you couldn't figure this out on your own, we did NOT receive a bobblehead. It was a source of frustration for some people in our group. Mainly Lisa.
1. Quite a few people stood on this line, got their bobblehead, and then left. These people are posers and assholes and do not deserve these bobbleheads. If you attend a game, accept your free giveaway, and then leave, the team should remove the giveaway from your person. You need to last at least 6 innings in order to maintain custody of your free giveaway.
2. Why can't teams just make enough bobbleheads to go around? It's not like they're well made. How much money could you possibly lose on the deal? Especially when a can of beer is $20.
3. Some people got to the ballpark at 2 pm for a 7 pm start time. They are losers.  While they stood an unmoving line for four hours (probably surfing Facebook and Snapchatting and/or taking selfies of themselves on an unmoving line), the rest of the world carried on. This is sad. Please, reevaluate your life choices, people.
4. If you sell a free giveaway on the internet for more than $0, you are an ass clown. That is all.

Once inside, we went right for the food. Standing around and complaining takes a lot out of you. Sal is a somewhat picky eater, so he just ended up eating two Italian sausage sandwiches, but us ladies are very open minded. Lisa ordered a steak sandwich from Pat LaFrieda's. Everything Gina and Serena ordered came from the Blue Smoke stand. Two platters of mac and cheese - one with pulled pork and the other with brisket. Plus, an order of barbecue seasoned fries. And then Serena needed a brat sandwich.  And also beer. Lots of beer. We did not feel very well by the end of this game. Not one bit. Only Citi Field can tell us exactly how much money we pissed away on all of that food.

Later, Lisa and Gina also visited the "Do" stand and ordered cups of "dough" for $6/each. Lisa got cake batter and Gina got plain chocolate chip cookie dough.

Our seats came courtesy of a David Paul Massage & Yoga "staff + one outing." Gina and Serena are staff. Serena got two + one's because Sal is basically dating the both of us.

This is the view from the seats that David bought for the outing and they're pretty awesome.

The game did not start well. In the first inning, the A's scored 4 runs. Add that to the bobblehead situation and the fact that it started to rain and Lisa was a very angry elf. The Mets' finally scored in the bottom of the 6th with a Jay Bruce two-run home run, which made the score 5-2.

 

Wilmer Flores drove in the walk-off home run in the bottom of the 9th to give the Mets the 6-5 win. It made Lisa feel much better...but not completely. Because we still did not have a bobblehead. Nor did anyone accidentally leave theirs behind like we'd hoped. People are so selfish. 

Yankees vs. Athletics 5-26-17

We were so bad ass that we hit two baseball games in one week. We are bad ass, but we are also now poor. Feeding us at the baseball game is an expensive venture. Just like with the Mets, we were determined not to miss any of the game...or the good food. We just didn't know what we wanted. Therefore, we walked the entire main level of the stadium in search of something justttttttttttt right. Our first stop ended up being the Frank's Red Hot Terrance overlooking centerfield. We ended up with a container of Frank's Red Hot mac and cheese for $10. It included chunks of chicken. It was f*cking delicious. So delicious.

 

After our mac and cheese, Lisa picked up her classy pig and a grapefruit beer. The classy pig was $16 and boasted shaved roasted pork with broccoli rabe, cherry pepper mayo, and provolone cheese. Serena ended up with a chicken parm hero topped with fresh mozarella. While Lisa was ecstatic to finally have the classy pig, it fell a little short of her expectations. Too greasy.

Our tickets were from one of the many Mastercard Monday deals that the Yankees throw down. Two tickets for $26 including fees.

 

 

Pretty decent view for $13/each, right?

Our free giveaway for the game was freezer mug, which is one of our better free giveaways and our first legit giveaway of the season. And that was about where the awesomeness of that game ended.

 

The game was tied 0-0 for 90% of the game until Tyler F*cking Clippard blew the game. But that's not the worst part. The worst part was our section neighbors. Let's start with the French people sitting behind us. We don't even mind the fact that their cheering was over eager and deafening. You should cheer. You should be enthusiastic. We should not have your conversation at levels that drown out an entire stadium. We should not hear you speaking above the PA system. In fact, we didn't know that that was even possible. It is. It is possible. Because we experienced that. In our ears. In French. Mixed in with a few, "Let's go Yankees!" If you study the photo above closely, you will see our French friends.

Then there was the A's fans. As experts at traveling to other people's stadiums, we firmly believe that there's a way to support your team at an away stadium without being a complete and total asshole. We've said it before and it seems that we will never stop saying it. It's perfectly fine to behave like an asshole in your own home. Do not come up into other people's houses acting like a jack ass. It's rude. If this was Ancient Greece, you'd be violating the hospitality code, which means a god or goddess would be forced to strike you down. Unfortunately, this is not Ancient Greece and throwing a beer at you is not only costly and a waste, but grounds for arrest for assault. Furthermore, the A's are 16.5 games out of first place. Where the hell do you get off being arrogant f*ck heads? To make a long story short, these men were in their mid-thirties behaving like drunk frat boys. THEN the drunk frat boys and the French kids started to attempt to "out-cheer" one another. How do mothers do it? How do they tolerate this kind of shit day in and day out? It's maddening.

At least we got a cool freezer mug and delectable mac and cheese out of the evening. That is all.

Playoff Pandemonium

Shall we start the blog off with poll results? We asked you a simple question Love or Hate the new playoff structure? Looks like all of you TBB followers came out to vote (10) and these were the results. Eight of you sons of b*tches like this new format which saddens us cause we told you already we hated it and now you are going against us. You should agree with us at all times because we are awesome and hilarious and all around good time. Shame on you! We guess even followers are entitled to their own opinion even if it’s wrong. Two people voted for hate it. We like them. If we knew who you were we would let you buy us beer and wings and experience the most comical day of your life.

Before we go on to baseball related stuff that we think is important enough to grace the pages of this glorious blog we need to mention a few things. Yesterday our friends Maureen and Jerry tied the knot. Congratulations! We had a great time. Serena performed her bridesmaid duties which included acting like a lady and not cursing while Lisa enjoyed the open bar and showing off her Zumba moves on the dance floor. Lisa is tired lazy and will apologize in advance for this blog for its just Daphne today Velma is off working her real job. No word on her stalking storm troopers so she must be behaving herself at The Autism Walk. I wish Serena and the gang all the luck today in raising money and awareness for Autism.

Now onto the baseball sh*t! So let’s have a short and sweet recap. I will try to make this as painless as possible. We found out on Wednesday that the Yankees and Oakland Athletics clinched their division titles.  The Yankees would give Boston a certifiable ass whipping and the Baltimore Orioles would take the first AL wild card spot. Oakland won over Texas causing Texas to claim the second spot. Fun times had by all I am sure.

Speaking of this Wild Card crap lets briefly cover what went down on these one game sudden death elimination (Ok I am being a bit dramatic). On Friday the Braves played the St. Louis Cardinals for the National League Wild Card bullsh*t. It did not end as Lisa would have hoped it to. Lisa was wishing that Carlos Beltran would pull the crap he did in the 2006 National league Championship game when he played for the Mets. In case you forgot he struck out while looking with the winning run on board. Never Forget! She is still looking for closure! Unfortunately that did not happen the Braves had three errors and a bad call by one of the umpires in the eight when Andrelton Simmons hit a fly ball that looked like a given out for the Cardinals. Pete Kozma initially called for the ball but then allowed it to drop between him and Holliday. The fans thought the Braves had loaded the bases while trailing by three runs and one out. Fans would realize that the left field umpire had made a late infield fly ruling calling Simmons out and leaving runners on second and third. It then got pretty ugly. Fans started throwing bottles, cups, and other items on the field causing a 19 minute delay. I love passionate fans. I am making them the TBB Super hero of the week. They are far classier then what Serena and I would have probably done had this happen to one of our teams. Braves would go on to lose 6-3 to the Cardinals. The Cardinals are to play the Washington Nationals today. Lisa is becoming a Nationals fan and will use her hat and free t-shirt as well as her mascot puppet while she roots on the Nats. Lisa refuses to live in a world where Carlos Beltran could possible go to the World Series. In the AL Wild Card game the Baltimore Orioles beat the Texas Rangers with a score of 5-1 and so the Orioles will be playing the Yankees today for the first game of their series. The TBB are hoping for a 4^th game so that we can attend the playoff tickets we purchased. That being said we are allowing the Orioles to win one game. That’s it! I know what you’re saying to yourself.” Those ladies are so sweet to grant that”. Statues should be made of us for our random acts of kindness.

So as stands taking game 1 of their division series are the Cincinnati Reds who beat the San Francisco Giants yesterday with a score of 5-2 and the Detroit Tigers took game 1 over the Oakland Athletics with a score of 3-1. Lot’s of baseball to be had today everyone is playing oh and football too. I suppose I should get this show on the road and mention a few more things so we all can get to drinking beer and watching sports!

Miguel Cabrera won baseball’s first Triple Crown in 45 years on Wednesday night. Cabrera led the American League with a .330 batting average, 44 home runs and 139 RBIs, making him the 15^th Triple Crown winner and the first since Boston’s Carl Yastrzemski in 1967. He did very well on Lisa’s fantasy baseball team but he alone could not carry The Asstastic Bunch to first place we finished in 5^th.

On Thursday I received notification on my portable internet machine from one of the baseball apps that stated late breaking news “Bobby Valentine is fired. “ Let’s be real late breaking news would have been if Bobby Valentine kept his job. Valentine went 69-93 in his only year as the Boston Red Sox manager. It should also be noted that this was the worst record in almost 50 years for Boston. The only person sad about this is Lisa’s mother and it’s not because she is a Boston Fan it’s because she has a crush on him. Speaking of Jobs as one door closes another one opens well not for Bobby V but for former Boston Red Sox manger Terry Francona. Terry has been hired this week to be manager of the Cleveland Indians, a team that collapsed in the second half of the season after a promising four months in the beginning.

Cue in curtains, The End! Go on and enjoy lots of booze, baseball and football you have been dismissed students!

Babies, Freds, Rookies & Temper Tantrums

Before we report to you the pathetic results of last week’s poll, we happily inform you that Sister had a charming baby girl. 8 lbs. 11 oz. in all her glory. Sister’s ability to pop something that size from her being entitles her to TBB Super Hero of the Week privileges…not that that actually gets her anything. Like a cool parking space or a snazzy keychain, but at least she will feel appreciated. Since Sister was in labor last week, we were a bit hurried and our poll was a little short on options. This apparently hurt our turnout because only 4 people chose to vote. We asked what song you would come out to the plate to if you were a big league hitter like Lisa and the winner with a rousing 2 votes was Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger.” While that song is amazing, can you people get anymore unoriginal? 1 person voted for one of the best stripper songs in history, Warrant’s “Cherry Pie” and 1 other person voted for Outfield’s “Your Love,” which Lisa thought was called, “Josie” (as in “Josie’s on a vacation far away. Come around and talk it over. So many things that I want to say. You know I like my girls a little bit older. I just wanna use your love tonight”). Sadly, no one thought Tina Turner’s “Simply the Best” would be their anthem. Really? That song playing on the radio is what prompted this poll question. In fact, we’re probably going to force the two Freds to come out to that song at the Fred K’s Cancer event because we’re the best daughters ever.

In outstanding Mets news, the boys from Flushing finally won a series! Cue the ticker tape parade, ladies and gentlemen. This is a momentous occasion that needs celebrating. We’ll bathe in it like bubble bath. Also, our favorite amigo, Johan Santana, has started wearing rosary beads as an accessory. Why, Johan? Say it ain’t so. Don’t leave us this way. We can’t survive without your sweet facial hair.

Francisco Rodriguez recorded his first save last night.

Ike Davis, Hottie Jacobs’ replacement, made his major league debut this week against the Cubs. Other than his sideburns, he’s become a fan favorite for being able to actually make contact with the ball unlike a few other players on the team. He assisted in the Mets 6-1 victory on Monday, going 2 for 4 with an RBI.

The Yankees have started their west coast trip with shocking success, taking two of three from the Oakland Athletics. Phil Hughes nearly no-hit the A’s on Wednesday night, pitching into the 8th. Eric Chavez’s lead off line drive ricocheted off of Hughes’ left arm (or glove. It was hard to see from the angle shown on the TV) and the ball rolled in front of him, where he lost track of it until that Brazilian Landing Strip Chin made it to first with an infield single. Hughes struck out a career high 10 batters in the Yankees 3-1 victory. He is now 2-0.

Brazilian Landing Strip Chin’s retirement into the DH role has been somewhat depressing, considering his former prowess at the hot corner and while we can sympathize with him, it does not excuse that…growth. Eric, please get rid of it. For us all, man. Do us the favor.

In the Yankees 4-2 loss to the A’s on Thursday, AROD initiated the Yankees’ first triple play in 42 years. However, in the top of the 6th, pitcher Dallas Braden felt that AROD was a bit naughty. After an AROD single, Cano fouled off a pitch and AROD, who was in between second and third, cut across the mound to return to first base. Apparently that was “MAJOR” because it started a screaming match between Braden and AROD…which was one of the most hilarious things we’ve ever seen during a baseball game. Braden’s reaction was so dramatic that Serena nearly peed herself from laughing so hard. According to Braden, “if he wants to run across the pitcher’s mound, tell him to go do laps in the bullpen.” Um, Braden? When you’re referring to the bull pen, are you talking about that little patch of dirt on the sidelines that they’ve relegated for that purpose? Cos’ that’s not much of a bull pen, darling. At the conclusion of the fight, Braden threw his mitt against the wall in the dugout and kicked over a stack of cups. Wow. So at the age of 26, men are allowed to behave like spoiled brats? Dude, we’re pretty sure that you should’ve outgrown that behavior at this junction in your life. For someone who’s only been in the MLB for 3 years, he sure acts like a primadonna. He must’ve received lessons from Dustin Pedroia.

Baseball Notes: On Sunday, the Mets designated Mike Jacobs (or as Lisa likes to call him, “Mike Jameson” because it sounds sexy. Like him) for assignment…meaning he got fired. This depresses us. Other than Jeff Francoeur, who are we supposed to molest now? Clearly TOWSNBN isn’t going to let us rub up against him as he will not even pose for a photograph with us. In place of Jacobs, the Mets promoted RHP Toby Stoner from Triple A-Buffalo…who is not nearly as hot as Jacobs, but whatever. Obviously Omar Minaya has zero taste in men.

Lou Piniella announced prior to Wednesday night’s game against the Mets that he’s moving the struggling Carlos Zambrano to the bullpen, saying “we felt he could do a really nice job for us there.” The Cubs’ bullpen’s combined ERA entering Wednesday’s game was 6.15 with a 1-6 record and has blown 4 of 7 save opportunities so far.

Cliff Lee’s debut in Seattle is tentatively scheduled for 4/30. He’s going to make a minor league rehab start with Triple A-Tacoma on Monday. If all goes well, he’ll be starting on normal rest against the Rangers.

We’ve already gotten emails from MLB.com about voting for our favorite All Stars. This process needs to be reevaluated. First of all, the fans shouldn’t be allowed to pick anymore because it’s become a mockery. Second of all, the game is not until July and the season is only in its first month. How could you possibly make sound judgments as to who belongs on the All Star roster this early? If we’re going based on performance thus far, Mike Pelfrey is getting the NL Cy Young Award, which is just ridiculous. Okay, admittedly, that statement was an exaggeration, but you get the point. This is the kind of crap that contributes to David Ortiz starting at first for the American League instead of Justin Morneau or Mark Teixeira. Or maybe someone we haven’t even heard of yet, but really deserves to be a member of the team.