Sunday, September 22, 2019

Yankees v Athletics 8-31-19

Lisa chose this game because the free giveaway was a lightweight hoodie. We assumed that the hoodie would be given to the first 40,000 guests, but unfortunately it was 18,000 and Serena worked way too late for us to get a free giveaway. The only reason Lisa isn't disappointed by this is the fact that the hoodie was a little too lightweight for her taste.

Thanks to Clear, we flew through the security line again. The feeling of power and superiority that goes with passing all of the peasants on the regular security line is truly intoxicating. We got through so quickly that despite leaving Serena's house one hour prior to game time, we managed to get into the stadium and to our food choice prior to first pitch. It was amazing.

We had a hard time choosing food this time around because we've pretty much eaten everything by this point, so we ended up at Mighty Quinn's BBQ again because it's so reliable and they had the shortest line. Lisa ordered baby back ribs and Serena ordered the Burnt Ends sandwich and a side of french fries. With our water bottles, we spent a total of $58. This seems to be a pattern with us lately.We grabbed a table and ate at the nearby AT&T Sports Lounge.
After our meal, we grabbed beers and headed to our seats.
The game was very exciting. It even went into extra innings.

We realize that we are the Traveling Baseball Babes and you probably tune into this blog and expect to read baseball-related items once in awhile, but you're not going to find that here today. What you're going to find is an entire blog post ripping apart our seat neighbors because we were surrounded by a-holes. It all began with the couple sitting behind us. Someone came up the stairs looking for his seats, but he had a difficult time. Instead of helping him, the wife started yelling at him to sit down. The husband loudly claimed, "you can't stand there the whole game!" For starters, he was there for maybe two minutes before these two started screaming at him. Secondly, if they wanted him to move so badly, they should've offered him assistance instead of being d*cks about the situation. As the man headed back down the stairs to find an usher to help him, the husband muttered a racist remark that we're not going to repeat here. That's the kind of people we were dealing with.

An elderly man with a cane accidentally tripped on a step and fell into the husband and his platter of chicken fingers. Instead of being concerned for this man's safety, the couple acted outraged. As if this man wanted to land in a plate of chicken fingers. After the old man collected himself and continued his way up the stairs, we heard the wife say, "we almost lost the chicken fingers." Really?

Then he started sh*t with us and that simply would not do because we cannot let anything go. We hold grudges for lifetimes and beat dead horses. We're dogs with a bone. The worst part is the fact that we're both exactly the same in this department so when one of us has a raging fire going, instead of helping to put the fire out, the other simple throws gasoline on top of the fire and watches it spread. Our seats had a railing in front of us and blocked the view of home plate. In order to see anything, we had to lean forward and look over the railing, which is exactly what Serena was doing when the man decided to yell at her. "You need to sit back. I can't see anything." Really? You're a foot taller than Serena and you're sitting in the row above us. How is that possible? From that point on, we made it a point to stand for everything. Are you sitting 20 seats away and need to get by for the bathroom? No problem. We'll stand the entire time and wait for you to reach us. Lisa will even encourage you. "Take your time. We're in no rush." Is there a wave about to go down? We're so down. In fact, let's start the wave. Every single play, we stood and high fived one another. To anyone who lingered in the aisle looking for their seats, we warned them loudly, "Oh, you better watch out. The seat police are going to yell at you." During the seventh inning stretch, they moved onto the stairs because they couldn't see around us. Couldn't see what? We're not sure because what exactly is so exciting on the field during the seventh inning stretch?

By the time Lisa returned from getting us ice cream in a helmet cup ($18 total) in the 8th inning, they had left.
Lisa was forced to get this pink helmets because that's all they had. Which is odd. They also had no change so Lisa was forced to use her card to pay for them. Also odd.

Anyway, back to our seat neighbors.The people in the row next to us were sitting in our actual seats but since there were two empty seats at the end of the aisle, we didn't complain. There was about seven people total in this group and we didn't interact with all of them. Most of the nonsense came from the two men directly next to us. One was an older gentleman wearing a Mets jacket, but complained loudly about the Mets the entire time. And also about the Yankees. He was very angry but seemed to be somewhat supportive of the A's. The one next to him was a young guy wearing full Athletics' attire. He complained about Yankee Stadium, but had never been to Oakland (if he'd had, there's no way he would've complained about our stadium because Oscar the Grouch's garbage can is nicer than the Coliseum). He knew all of the players' specific cheers that only an A's fan would know, but spoke with a New York accent. It's okay to root against the home team (even though the seventh inning stretch song specifically says you shouldn't), but don't be an a-hole about it. They were simply over the top about their anti-Yankee-ness. Finally, Serena had to ask the question. "Did you fly in from San Jose or San Francisco?" They laughed. They were from the Bronx. They were Mets fans who just hated the Yankees. So Serena asked why the whole A's outfit for a team they don't care about. The old man laughed and basically called the young kid an idiot. Somehow we mentioned that we went to all thirty ballparks, which is something we tend to blurt out a lot. To anyone who'll listen really. And to some who don't really want to talk to us at all. The old man got so excited by this and he introduced us to one of his friends at the other end of the aisle. This man had been to over 7,000 baseball games and had a spreadsheet tabulating all of the ballparks he'd been to, the date of the games, the score, etc. It was pretty incredible. Our thirty ballparks didn't seem so fancy after checking out this spreadsheet.

Oh, and the Yankees won in extra innings thanks to back to back Brett Gardner and Mike Ford solo home runs.
The End.

Sunday, September 15, 2019

Mets vs. Marlins 8-6-19

Lisa filled out a survey emailed to her from the Mets and as a thank you gift, the Mets granted her two field level seats to select mid-week games of her choice. At the time of the survey, the Mets were still sucking a bag of d*cks, so it was likely that the Mets' offices were simply trying to put butts in the seats. By the time the game rolled around, the Mets were contenders again, which means that this is the first time something actually worked out to our advantage. Serena found player t-shirts on sale at Modell's, so we finally got ourselves adorable Mets and Yankees shirts to wear to the games.
(FYI: this photo was featured on @MetsHotties on Instagram. That's how cool we are. And it basically means that we're famous).

Also at the game, we got suckered into signing up for Clear so that we can get into the New York ballparks faster (and also through airport security). It's amazing. We've already used it once at Yankee Stadium and we plan on using it for our Disney trip in October. Lines will be a thing of the past! At least at airports and local sporting events.

Thanks to Clear, we flew into Citi Field and headed right for food. We had a difficult time deciding what to eat so Lisa stood on the Blue Smokehouse line and ordered the mac and cheese topped by brisket and Serena stood on the taco stand and ordered the nachos topped by barbacoa and two bottles of water. Blue Smoke cost us $13 and the nachos cost us $24.
In retrospect, this was probably too much food.

Afterwards, we headed to our seats.
The Marlins had a pretty rough night. Both Wilson Ramos and Pete Alonso hit home runs in the 5-0  beatdown.
Remember how we ordered too much food? Then we did this:
We've been dying to get these home run apple cups since Citi Field started serving them, but every time we've gone, it's been a little too chilly for ice cream. Our only complaint is that we had to get soft serve, which Serena finds incredibly irritating. She thinks it's fake ice cream. One step above those ridiculous Dip N' Dots. Lisa doesn't mind it as much. They should offer legit ice cream as an option. Citi Field already has legit ice cream at other concession stands. This was also a $24 expense. Apparently, we like to throw money away like we're Antonio Brown. At least if it was real ice cream, $24 would have been less offensive.

Sunday, September 8, 2019

NYM Star Wars Day 2019

May 25, 2019

We arrived at the game way later than intended and Lisa was convinced that we weren't going to get our Robinson Cano-bi bobblehead (although truthfully, at this point, he had been such a dumpster fire for the Mets). We headed to our new secret gate and there was hardly any line! We got our bobbleheads easily!
We immediately rushed to the Bullpen Plaza because that's where the characters always go to take pictures. When we got there, there was no one there but a bunch of little leaguers and an adorable bullpen cart.
After a very intense line of questioning in which we water boarded several employees while forcing them to listen to Justin Bieber, we discovered that none of the characters would be taking photos or coming to the Plaza at all. The Plaza was for the little leaguers today. While we do not have anything against little leaguers, why would we want to hang out in the Plaza with them? The Star Wars characters are more important than the stupid bobblehead! This was devastating.We headed toward Mr. Met's spot, hoping that all was not lost.

Behold! He was there and dressed as Luke Skywalker! It would've been better had he chosen Yoda or Darth Vader or even Han Solo again, but we suppose that beggars can't be choosers. As soon as we jumped on the line, Mr. Met's handlers declared us the last. For once, someone was out there keeping an eye on us and wanted us to be happy on Star Wars Day. Or that person didn't want to read yet another blog post of us belly aching about bull sh*t that doesn't matter to anyone else.
Lisa made it a point to purchase tickets with access to the Jim Beam Suite so that we could sample new food items. Apparently, we decided to go ape sh*t while we were there and ordered everything. Pepperoni cupcakes were 3 for $10 and a double order of the Destination Dumplings with two flavors (Korean bbq and jerk chicken) for $15. 
When we finished eating all of that, we decided that we also needed churros and mini doughnuts, but thankfully for our figures and wallets, they ran out of mini doughnuts. That didn't stop us from buying the churros though.
We couldn't just leave it like that like normal people. We had to keep going. Money was apparently burning a hole in our pockets. The bar served beer in a collectible stein for $18/each and we had to have them.
Finally, we headed towards our seats (but not before double checking the mini-doughnut stand again to make sure that they didn't get a miraculous shipment in). On our way, we happened by a small team store selling Mr. and Mrs. Met foam fingers. Prior to this discovery, Lisa had specifically requested that Serena prevent her from spending any more money on random souvenirs because she spent $54 on two different Mets' hats on Game of Thrones Night. Yet, here we were standing in another team store with Lisa holding two foam faces that were $15/each. Serena dutifully reminded Lisa of their earlier conversation (albeit, not very sternly). We tried to negotiate with the cashier because $15 for both foam faces is excessive. He found us hilarious, yet denied us anyway. We asked for coupons. There were none. So, Lisa paid full price for both of them because how do you pick one over the other?

They're pretty magical, but jeez. $30 for two round orange sponges? Are you serious, Mets?
We arrived at our seats.
Our seat neighbor was super friendly and loved baseball and the Mets. It was adorable. We weren't too sure about his situation as he was sitting with five other people - two younger kids, two women, and another man. We couldn't tell if they were family, friends, or if one of the women was a spouse or girlfriend. The woman disliked us for whatever reason considering our behavior during the game was relatively mild for us. He was nice enough to take a bunch of ridiculous photos of us for the blog.
Serena spent the entire time talking in what she deemed "Mrs. Met's voice." She spoke in that voice for so long that it took her two days to stop.

You may or may not be surprised to hear that we got hungry again and ended up getting wings in a collectible helmet because we needed another helmet. Obviously.
And also more beer.

The game went into extra innings, which is borderline offensive because the Tigers are so bad this year, but luckily we had new toys to keep us occupied as the game lingered on.
 The Mets won because Serena forgot her hat, which we're starting to suspect is hexed. She can never wear the hat again...unless of course, the Mets suddenly lose a game she attends without her hat. Then all bets are off.

Sunday, June 23, 2019

NYY Star Wars Day 2019

May 4, 2019

May the Fourth be with you. The game started at 1pm, so Serena limited her work day to only three clients so that we could be on the road by 10am. The CC Sabathia Jedi bobblehead was a must have for our collection. At this stage, we feel like we're bobblehead connoisseurs. In turns out that we were way too proactive about getting to the game early because we flew through the line and got our free giveaway without breaking a sweat. Though we did manage to miss getting our bobblehead from a Yoda-dressed CC.

It is also noteworthy that it was rainy and cold AF. In the month of May.
During Star Wars games, our first priority is always the free giveaway. Our second priority is getting photos taken with the characters. According to sources, the characters would not be available until after the pre-game parade and ceremonial first pitch, so we had time. Therefore, we searched for food. Since Opening Day, Lisa has had a hankering for the bacon cheeseburger fried dumplings. We found them at the Noodle Bowl (not exactly the most logical location, but it doesn't matter since we found it) stand in the food court. They were three for $11.99 and served topped with a pickle.  We also ordered the General Tso Crispy Chicken sandwich for $11.99. As we type these numbers out, we're realizing that this seems very lopsided and it's quite possible that the Yankees have pulled one over on us. 
The dumplings tasted like Hamburger Helper, which is totally fine, but not really worth writing home about. Or paying $12 for. The G.T. Crispy Chicken tasted more like sweet n sour chicken and came topped with coleslaw, which we found extremely baffling because not a single Asian restaurant that we've been to has ever served us coleslaw. Serena scraped hers off and struggled not to dry heave because mayo is revolting.

After food, we watched the parade celebrating Star Wars and all of its galactic wonder and then headed off to stand on line to meet the characters. Like at Disney World. Only there's no fast pass available.
Notice Serena's stance in the photo with Lord Vader below. Upon jumping into this photo, Serena immediately grabbed the point position by his side and asked him if he would be willing to take a prom photo with her. How he knew what she was talking about will forever be a mystery, but he obliged and offered her his arm. Hence, Lisa looks like she is the third wheel on this extremely bizarre date. 
We finally made it to our seats and apparently entered the Twilight Zone because it was suddenly very sunny without a single cloud in the sky and 4 billion degrees. Lisa had about five layers of clothing on that needed to come off. All of our layers were shoved between us on the seats and between our feet. We also rolled our sleeves up to really complete this charming vision of trailer park trash.
Our neighbors had bladder control issues or something because they had to get up to leave our row every 10 minutes, which means we kept having to gather all of our sweat inducing shit in order to stand up over and over again.

As usual, the Star Wars details were adorable, but for some god forsaken reason, they replayed the video from last year where they asked the players who their favorite Star Wars character is. This was such a disaster, why on earth would they replay this stupid thing? Why wouldn't they reshoot this video and make it less embarrassing for all of us? For starters, one asshole (if memory serves us correctly, it was that tits on a bull, Greg Bird) claimed that he was more of a Star Trek fan. Countless infants on that team have apparently never seen the movies and actually admitted this fact on camera like a bunch of buffoons. Why wasn't there someone feeding them lines? Or editing these idiots out of the video entirely? Furthermore, where is the common sense that dictates that on Star Wars Day, you're clearly supposed to lie about this shit? No one cares that you like Star Trek, Greg!
The Yankees played like ass hats, so in the 7th inning, we decided that it was finally hot enough to try one of those specialty milkshakes. Unfortunately, we weren't the only ones to have this genius idea. The line was so long that we basically got our shakes as the final Yankees' hitter stepped into the batter's box. The shakes were $15.99 each. Lisa ordered the Celebration and Serena got the All Star.
The shakes were worth the wait and the price. Our photo also briefly made us Insta-famous when @major_league_chefs reposted it to their account. They post a lot of fun food pictures from around the league, so if you're interested in stadium touring, we'd highly recommend checking them out so that you can get some inspiration while you're road tripping.

Nothing else to report regarding the game because the Yankees were terrible. We had breast and armpit sweat and our stomachs were distended from all of the disgusting food that we inhaled. That is all.