Oh, hello! You may be surprised to hear from us so soon being that we've only arrived in Phoenix today and have yet to see anything baseball related. Lucky for you, you're getting a bonus post. Not so lucky for the company getting the brunt of our rant. Allow us to start off by saying that some of the stuff we're going to complain about is a system-wide problem. Airlines, in general, are greedy money grubbing whores. They're worse than insurance companies. In the last ten years, we've watched airfares steadily climb, fees get tacked on to checked luggage, an increase in competition for overhead bin space, overbooked flights, and a decline in customer service.
Having said all of that, American Airlines takes the cake in being the worst of them. We'll rewind and take you back to the date that Lisa purchased our airfare nearly three months ago. Lisa started her search on Google Flights and found that our cheapest option for airfare was through American, so she booked it. And trust us when we say that the cheapest option was still a gouging. Little did she know that what she booked was something called, "Basic Economy." Basically, that means we wouldn't get assigned seats until check in. Do most airlines do this now? Yes. Is it totally ridiculous and greedy? Yes. Could we live with this? Yes. However, it gets better than that. American also denies Basic Economy passengers access to the overhead bins, which means that if it doesn't fit under the seat, you must pay $25 to check it. This is the most asinine policy we've ever heard. If you're denying access to overhead space, then airfare should be substantially cheaper.
Lisa decided that this was not worth the stress of potentially having issues with our luggage and sitting in completely different areas of the plane, so prior to the check in timeframe, she logged in and paid an additional $88 for both of us to have assigned seats next to each other. You'd think paying nearly $100 in fees would solve the problem. It doesn't. When Lisa finally checked us in for our flight, our itineraries and boarding passes were stamped in large block letters, "one bag under seat only." Really? Really? How much money did you want for us to be permitted to use what is essentially communal space? Will you start charging to use the restroom as well?
We assumed that we could discuss this with a reasonable human being employed by American at the airport when we arrived to check our bags. Wrong again. We greeted the dour woman as pleasantly as possible and explained our situation. She was curt and basically told us tough luck, we had to pay to check our bags. Here's a tip: if you're going to charge outrageous fees for every little thing you offer, your customer service should be flawless. Your representatives shouldn't speak to your customers like they strolled into their work space immediately after rolling around in dog shit. Just a suggestion. Serena asked what we had to do or pay in order to get access to the overhead bin (especially when Lisa already got dinged for $88 in fees). First, the woman just blinked at Serena like she'd just insulted the woman's mother. Then, she said that we needed to pay $25 per person. How can that be if we were already paying $25 each to check the stupid bag to begin with? That makes zero sense. So, Serena asked if we could do that instead of checking the bags. She replied that we could if we paid the fee on a Citicard. What luck! We have that! Serena pulled out the credit card that's used specifically for travel purposes such as these. Oh, but wait. She shook her head. It had to be the Citi American Advantage card. Who f*cking cares?!!!
She took our bags and sent them off to luggage purgatory. Lisa mentioned that with the fees she paid on top of the original airfare, she might as well have booked us in first class. The delightful treat of a woman replied, "that's why Basic Economy isn't worth it." No, asshole, that's why your company's policy is absurdly greedy and broken.
Needless to say, we will never fly this airline again.
Oh, and also, the flight attendants on our flight were real winners as well.
And this shower curtain is what separated us from first class. Really classy shit considering the price you have to pay to sit there. It looks like it was purchased at Utopia for a dorm room.
Wait until you hear about our hotel adventures. Maybe we will post that tonight after a few beers.
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