We know you've been waiting for this blog post for...well...awhile now. Since we mentioned it in July. Sorry. We had a lot of sh*t to cover! We're really busy girls. Before we get into the Mickey Mantle exhibit, let's talk poll results. The TBB are already infected with Halloween Fever. We've decided to rock Scooby and The Gang. We're going to "drive around" in the Mystery Machine that we make ourselves. It's going to be amazing. Unfortunately, we had a few issues trying to make a descision as to who was going to dress up as who. Thankfully, none of you decided to vote "cross-dressing" as our option. We suppose that means that you've had enough of Serena wearing a drawn-on moustache and Lisa wearing grey sideburns. ANYHOO, the poll closed with a tie. Half of you want Serena to Velma and the other half want Lisa to Velma. You're so helpful as usual. Good thing we bumped into an adorable small person on the LIRR last week. She was starting her first week in 3rd grade and she cleverly came up with a number guessing game that determined who would be Velma and who would be Daphne. This little adorable genius managed to make our decision for us. 3rd grade, people. 3rd. Yet she managed to be smarter than all of you. Lisa will be Daphne and Serena will be Velma. Serena even gets to wear her legit eyeglasses, which is actually pretty helpful since she needs them to drive. We have a little Scooby Doo stuffed animal that we plan on carrying around, but we don't have a Shaggy or Fred. We haven't quite decided if we NEED a Shaggy and Fred, but we were thinking of manipulating Brother into being Shaggy seeing as how he's tall, gangly, and...well..."shaggy." We don't know anyone that looks like a Ken doll, so we might be sh*t out of luck in terms of Fred.
Onto the point of this piece. On July 13th, we headed to the Yankees game with the purpose of checking out the highly publicized new Mickey Mantle exhibit. We made it to the exhibit. Don't you worry. Unfortunately, we had had a little too much to drink, so our memory of the night's events are a touch blurry. As are some of our pictures.
Don't get us wrong. It's a cool exhibit. But it's not what we imagined. We had assumed that in addition to the current Yankees Museum, they had built an adjacent wing (yes, wing) dedicated to Mickey Mantle. Lisa thought we'd get champagne as we entered. This was not the case. They merely rearranged and shuffled some sh*t around to accommodate the exhibit. Here are the pictures we took:
Check out the reflection in the glass in this last picture. Clearly, Serena's is having drunk problems working her camera while Lisa is what? Checking the progress? Examining what Serena was photographing? We have no idea, but it's obvious from this photo that we were definitely tanked.
We found this Latino Living Legends setup. We'd never noticed this before so we THINK it's new, but we were also drunk at the time we decided to take this picture. It's funny because she's not Spanish, yet everyone thinks she is.
Imagine this slurred conversation as we drunkenly stumbled upon this:
Serena: Lisa, Lisa. Go over there and I take yo picture.
*Lisa stumbles, shuffles, walks in zig-zag-like pattern over to the display, her bag drooping on her arm like she's some sort of homeless person*
Lisa (beer-glazed look in her eye): Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Giggle, giggle, snort, snort.
*The sober group of individuals, including the security guards, glare at us in disgust*
Serena: HAHAHAHA! So funny. We're so funny!
Lisa to random fat man standing next to her: Hola, senor! I'm not Spanish. That's why this is so funny.
*Random man looks repulsed by the fact that Lisa is trying to talk to him*
We next stumbled upon a Lou Gehrig/Babe Ruth exhibit.
Lisa's hand is apparently a lot smaller than Babe Ruth's...at least we THINK that's what was happening with this picture. There's really no way to be sure unless we go back to relive this whole experience sober.
After that, sh*t kind of hit the fan. We ran around looking for different players, most of whom probably rolled over in their graves after we skipped out of the place, screaming about ice cream.
We found Bernie's signature relatively quickly since it was so large.
We flipped off AJ Burnett. We're pretty sure us screaming, "F*ck you, AJ" was around the time the security guard politely asked us to keep our voices down. Apparently, we were disturbing the other museum visitors.
We took this photo on behalf of Mamadukes, so even in our drunkeness, we're thoughtful individuals:
We found Bernie's ball:
And Lisa found her favorite Met:
Notice our glassy, drunk eyes. Our lethargic gestures.
It's probably noteworthy that by this point of the evening, we have no idea how far along the game had progressed, what the score was, where our seats were, or who was even pitching. In fact, we can't even recall who the Yankees played. Yes, we can look it up on the internet machine, but that's not the point here. Look at us climbing all over this important, historic statue like a pair of monkeys in a cage:
This photo of us in a replica Yankees locker here in all its blurriness just proves that our camera was just as drunk as we were:
We did eventually get our ice cream, which kept us happy and silent for at least 20 minutes, much to the relief of the other fans in the stadium.
After our ice cream, we ended up going to Stan's to drink more, which was probably a stupid idea. We participated in another "impromptu dance party." Intelligently enough, we took no pictures. Could you imagine what those would have looked like? St. Patty's Day all over again.
Time for this week's baseball notes, which we know we've been absolutely terrible about reporting on, but in our defense, we're lazy. So let's talk about what's big in New York right now. The Yankees have imploded and barely have the AL East title over the Orioles and the only good thing happening in Metsville is RA Dickey. Elsewhere, the Nationals have officially shut Stephen Strasburg down for the season, which is utterly bizarre considering how obvious it is that the Nationals are going to the playoffs. Yes, we knew he was on an innings limit for the season at the beginning of the year (probably before the Nationals had any expectation of reaching the postseason) due to the fact that Stasburg had had Tommy John surgery in the offseason. HOWEVER, now that your team is in the postseason for the first time in the franchise's young history, HOW do you shut down your best pitcher? That's like the 300 Spartans marching into battle without the mighty Leonides. Disney having a parade without Mickey Mouse. Robin Hood's Merry Men rebeling against King John without Robin Hood. The seven dwarves without Snow White. Taco Bell with no cheese! Us going on a hunger strike! It's just senseless, people.
Next week, we'll post pictures from our NFL Back to Football Run and talk about our fantasy baseball league heading into the playoffs.
