Ask & You Shall Receive

After a lot of promises and delays, we finally have our video, "The Different Stages of Burpees" for you to enjoy. We even created a blooper film for you as well. Look at us. Fulfilling promises left and right. We're out of control. First, time to discuss the results of last week's poll.We asked if you missed old school tickets and all 7 of you said, yes! That's pretty easy for us to report on and there's no need to bother discussing at all.

A few weeks ago, we Googled what a Spartan Burpee was and realized that neither of us actually DO what the Spartan Race creators consider a burpee. Lisa doesn't do the push up and Serena's push up doesn't include lowering all the way to the ground. This prompted a blog post that included a brief, stupid joke in which we claimed that we'd video ourselves doing the different stages of burpees. For some reason, you people actually wanted us to do the video, so now here we are. The different stages are as follows:

• The Bitch Burpee
• The Midway Burpee (a lot of folks also call this a "Half-Burpee")
• The Spartan Burpee
• The TBB Burpee

*Keep in mind that if you're unable to perform an obstacle during a Spartan Race, you must complete 30 Spartan Burpees in order to continue the race. Skip enough obstacles and you're doing a sh*t ton of Spartan Burpees*

We present to you, The Different Stages of Burpees:

Now that you've enjoyed The Different Stages of Burpees, here is the blooper video for you to enjoy.

This week's baseball notes:
On Saturday, Mariano Rivera announced that after his 19th season in the MLB, he'll be retiring. We knew this day was coming, but knowing doesn't make it hurt any less. In other Yankees-related news, the team seems to be falling apart like wet tissue paper. In addition to Alex Rodriguez being out until about mid-season with old man hips and Curtis Granderson out until May with a fractured forearm,  Mark Teixeira is the most recent injury victim, suffering a sprained wrist while hitting off the tee on Tuesday. He's expected to be out until mid-May. The Yankees lineup is sure to look super asstastic come April. "Now batting: Kermit the Frog."

At least CC Sabathia and Derek Jeter appear to be on the mend. Jeter went 1-2 as a DH against the Braves in his first appearance since his injury on Saturday. Sabathia, on the other hand, will be make his spring debut on Friday when the Yankees host the Marlins.