Sunday, November 10, 2013

"M" is for Movember

Don't get too excited. We're not doing our annual critique of facial hair around the league...yet. Today's blog posts are strictly about some of baseball's greatest moustaches in honor of the great and wonderful Movember. This is the time of year where men nationwide embrace the look of child molester in order to promote prostate cancer awareness. Let's face it, boys. Your moustaches are not what they used to be. Very few men these days pull off the fine art of the stache like the men of the 1970's porn era. True heroes in the history of grooming.

Here are the select few modern-day men that have rocked the stache to its fullest potential:
Carlos Villanueva looks like the WB Mason guy, which brings us coffee to our workplace, so obviously he's good in our book.
It's become clear that Cole Hamels will be sexy in any way shape or form. If he can make Magnum PI sexy, he can do anything. Leap tall buildings in a single bound. Run faster than a speeding bullet. Grow a Duck Dynasty beard.
Sal Fasano knows how to honor Goose Gossage and the magnificent handlebar moustache.

Now for the trail blazers. The men who set the standards in moustaches:
Donnie Baseball. The Hit Man himself. Don Mattingly. LA just doesn't look right with a clean shaven upper lip. 
 Yes. Simply the best. Better than all the rest.
Two third basemen that know that a thick proper stache is the key to Silver Slugger Awards and World Series Championships. Note: not a Creep-stache, but a proper stache. The kind of stache that would have health benefits and a 401(k) plan.

Gentlemen, let's see how you're promoting Movember. Send or post your Movember pics to Facebook, email, or tag us on Instagram/Twatter and we'll pick our favorite one to share on our last blog post of November. Insert evil laugh. Do Goose Gossage proud!


  1. I just went with the standard goatee, since I can't really pull off the super trooper, and grooming standards at work keep me from going all Rollie Fingers. I've really never been one to take pics of myself (they're rare even on my website), but for you girls I might make an exception. As long as I don't end up the a-hole of the week...

    1. You only end up as a-hole of the week if you piss us off, darling. ;)