2401 Ontario Street
Cleveland, OH 45202
September 23, 2018
We'd like to start this post off by informing you that the Indians stop offering guided tours in September. Why is this important? Because we have no information on this stadium, which means many of the details that we will give you are fabricated. We will tell you which tid bits are actual facts just in case you use our blog posts to plan your baseball travels, but we will not point out the lies. Could we have Googled? Sure. But why would we? That's extra work and you're not paying us.
Our first photos at Progressive are sunny. Warm. Not crowded. You may ask yourself, "how early did the TBB have to get to the game in order to get such perfect shots?" We will tell you. Six hours.
These are players that are extremely important in Indians' history. Most likely. A guided tour probably would've clarified.
Pretty sure this is the last time the Indians won the American League Championship Series.
The team owner is probably obsessed with Abbott and Costello. Clearly.
Therefore, on Sunday morning, we walked all the way to the field wondering why the streets were so empty and why the parking lots were deserted. Did we check the portable internet machine for an answer to this mystery? No. Lisa wondered where the street vendors who sold Indians' merchandise were. Well, obviously because it was Sunday and street vendors do not work on Sundays. Duh. Only explanation (it's amazing that the both of us actually have retirement plans). We take more photos. We take more selfies. We make it all the way to the team store only to discover that it's locked. That was the moment that Lisa checked the portable internet machine and discovered that it was no longer a day game.
Thankfully, the team store opened at 12 pm and we only had to wait around for a few minutes, so it wasn't a total waste. Lisa was able to buy Slider for $16 and our hats were $25.
Inside the ballpark, we wandered around, scoping the scene and potential food stands. We were denied access to pretty much everything, including the kids' clubhouse. We were not even allowed to step foot into the foyer of the elevator banks. We had to use a special escalator and/or elevator for people without fancy tickets. We do not recall the Indians being so pro-"separation of the classes" in the movies, Major League and Major League II.
This is how close we ever got to taking a photo with Slider, but we will admit that he was the most interactive mascot we've seen. He was visible during the entire game and made it a point to visit each section. Most mascots keep to the field level and only appear during specific times during the game.
Before heading back to our seats, we grabbed ice cream in a helmet cup for $6 from Pierre's. Here, they offer real ice cream or that fake ass soft serve ice cream if that's your preference. Both of us chose Moose Tracks, which is vanilla ice cream with fudge and peanut butter cups.
Hot Dog Derby between the condiments to determine the overall season winner and to our delight, Onion won. Girl power, we always say Lisa is particularly fond of the fact that Onion runs with her leopard print handbag.
The most disappointing fact about this stadium is its lack of acknowledgement to the movie, Major League. That movie is the only thing that's interesting about this franchise. And the mascot. He's adorable. The only reference to Rick Vaughn in the entire ballpark was us:
Thankfully, the Indians pulled out the win in the 11th 4-3. Finally, we attended a game in which the home team won. Maybe our luck is finally turning around. It only took 29 stadiums.