Yankees vs. Blue Jays 7-4-17

Again, two games in one week. Like champions. Unfortunately, we had to watch the Yankees play one of our most hated AL opponents - the Toronto Blue Jays. It's not the team we hate so much (though Jose Bautista needs to suck a bag of d*cks), but the fans. We're not saying that all Blue Jays fans are front runners, but let's face it. A huge portion of them are. We've been to their ballpark and despite seeing two games there, failed to witness a single sold out game. The stands were empty. Why? Because they're hockey fans. Yet they have no problem traveling to other people's ballparks and behaving like complete and total a$$ clowns. Explain.

But this is not about the Canadian invasion. This is about the birth of our nation and how patriotic we are.

Major holidays always bring out the jack wagon drivers, so we chose to take the train to the game. It was a lot better than anticipated and we only met one insane person screaming about us all being trapped in a cage and only one person that pooped his pants. Which is a pretty excellent day as far as we're concerned.

Once inside the stadium, we went in search for food. It took us a little while because we simply couldn't decide what to do. We wanted the Frank's Red Hot mac and cheese, but didn't want to keep eating the same thing. We tend to do that. We circled the Frank's Red Hot Terrace a few times before finally settling for the AT&T Sports Lounge. They served beer, had tables, and included a pop up Lobel's stand. Next door is a Mighty Quinn's stand, so we ordered burnt end sandwiches. At the Lobel's stand, we ordered a plate of potato wedge fries topped with steak and gravy. Then we got beer. So, basically we spent a sh*t ton of money on total nonsense.

 The sandwiches were AMAZING. Super tasty.

This was delicious, but it was not the platter we thought we were ordering. We THOUGHT we ordered a plate of french fries topped with steak. We apparently ordered chopped cubes of meat piled on top of potatoes. In the defense of Lobel's, the sign clearly stated what it was when we chose it, but we're idiots.

After eating entirely too much meat, we headed for our seats. It hurts to walk up the stairs because our pants were too tight from all the meat. Our seats were pretty awesome. Great view of the field.

 

 

As you can see, we're very adorable and patriotic.

The downfall? Hot. As. F*ck. No coverage. All sun. No breeze. It was like someone decided to roast us like pigs on a stick at a luau. We smelled like barbecued chicken.

 

Unfortunately, there isn't much to discuss regarding the game except for the a-hole Blue Jays' fans. And there really isn't much to discuss regarding them either except that they were a-holes. Aaron Judge scored the only run for the Yankees with a solo home run. CC Sabathia crapped the bed.

As we walked to Penn from the subway station, we passed a drunk man with puke in his beard.

On the LIRR, we got bored and Lisa played with her Snapchat filters:

 

 

You're welcome.

Greetings from the Ford Focus!

We write to you from the undisclosed location in the Ford Focus. We sincerely hope it rains soon so that we can finally have cool air circulating. Serena worries that Lisa might suffer from a heat stroke. We think there's a good chance for rain because it's rained everyday for months now and the sky is becoming more grey. Before we get started on today's agenda, we'd like to point out that we have two polls for you to vote on this week. Please, if you do vote, be sure to do so on both polls so that our stats are not lopsided.

Speaking, of polls, we have last week's results to discuss! The poll asked our faithful readers to tell us what they thought would happen during the Subway Series. We topped out at 10 votes and it was a close race. 3 people felt that Johnny Damon will most certainly bounce a ball to the cut off man. Close behind with 2 votes was David Wright farting instead of doing something with runners in scoring position and that neither team will get a hit, making the series drag on forever. The rest of the options, Carlos Beltran will not slide, Derek Jeter will hit into a double play, and that Mr. Met would go postal and take out both teams, were all tied with 1 lousy vote.

Today's baseball's notes: Yesterday afternoon, Mike Pelfrey stopped the bleeding for the Mets, lasting 7.2 innings with 6 strikeouts. The Mets defeated the Brewers 1-0. Last night, the Rays' 7- game winning streak ended. Toronto won 5-0. Despite suffering this loss, the Rays managed to climb out of the basement and have taken over 3rd place in the AL East, being 5 games out. Barry Zito earned a no decision on 6/27 when the Giants took on the Brewers. He lasted 5.2 innings, allowing 3 hits. The damage occurred in the bottom of the 6th, when we walked two batters and then gave up a home run. His bull pen would go on to lose the game 7-6. His record remains at 4-7. His next start is at St. Louis tonight (7/2). This weekend, Toronto comes to town to face the Yankees, while the Mets travel to play the dreaded Phillies. As we type, the Mets are in a rain delay, waiting to play the Pirates, Lisa's second love, in a make up game. Going into the holiday weekend, the Division Leaders are as follows: Boston (AL East), Philly (NL East), Detroit (AL Central), Milwaukee (NL Central), and both LA teams currently dominate the West.

We have to sign off now because bugs are trying to invade our traveling "office." We suppose this is something we should get used to since now we are exposed to nature. We close this week's post with Neil Diamond singing, "Everywhere around the world they're coming to America. Every time that flag's unfurled, they're coming to America!" Since the TBB will be out of action this weekend for the holiday, we'll take this moment to wish everyone a very HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!