Yankees v Athletics 8-31-19

Lisa chose this game because the free giveaway was a lightweight hoodie. We assumed that the hoodie would be given to the first 40,000 guests, but unfortunately it was 18,000 and Serena worked way too late for us to get a free giveaway. The only reason Lisa isn't disappointed by this is the fact that the hoodie was a little too lightweight for her taste.

Thanks to Clear, we flew through the security line again. The feeling of power and superiority that goes with passing all of the peasants on the regular security line is truly intoxicating. We got through so quickly that despite leaving Serena's house one hour prior to game time, we managed to get into the stadium and to our food choice prior to first pitch. It was amazing.

We had a hard time choosing food this time around because we've pretty much eaten everything by this point, so we ended up at Mighty Quinn's BBQ again because it's so reliable and they had the shortest line. Lisa ordered baby back ribs and Serena ordered the Burnt Ends sandwich and a side of french fries. With our water bottles, we spent a total of $58. This seems to be a pattern with us lately.We grabbed a table and ate at the nearby AT&T Sports Lounge.

 

 

After our meal, we grabbed beers and headed to our seats.

 

 

The game was very exciting. It even went into extra innings.

We realize that we are the Traveling Baseball Babes and you probably tune into this blog and expect to read baseball-related items once in awhile, but you're not going to find that here today. What you're going to find is an entire blog post ripping apart our seat neighbors because we were surrounded by a-holes. It all began with the couple sitting behind us. Someone came up the stairs looking for his seats, but he had a difficult time. Instead of helping him, the wife started yelling at him to sit down. The husband loudly claimed, "you can't stand there the whole game!" For starters, he was there for maybe two minutes before these two started screaming at him. Secondly, if they wanted him to move so badly, they should've offered him assistance instead of being d*cks about the situation. As the man headed back down the stairs to find an usher to help him, the husband muttered a racist remark that we're not going to repeat here. That's the kind of people we were dealing with.

An elderly man with a cane accidentally tripped on a step and fell into the husband and his platter of chicken fingers. Instead of being concerned for this man's safety, the couple acted outraged. As if this man wanted to land in a plate of chicken fingers. After the old man collected himself and continued his way up the stairs, we heard the wife say, "we almost lost the chicken fingers." Really?

Then he started sh*t with us and that simply would not do because we cannot let anything go. We hold grudges for lifetimes and beat dead horses. We're dogs with a bone. The worst part is the fact that we're both exactly the same in this department so when one of us has a raging fire going, instead of helping to put the fire out, the other simple throws gasoline on top of the fire and watches it spread. Our seats had a railing in front of us and blocked the view of home plate. In order to see anything, we had to lean forward and look over the railing, which is exactly what Serena was doing when the man decided to yell at her. "You need to sit back. I can't see anything." Really? You're a foot taller than Serena and you're sitting in the row above us. How is that possible? From that point on, we made it a point to stand for everything. Are you sitting 20 seats away and need to get by for the bathroom? No problem. We'll stand the entire time and wait for you to reach us. Lisa will even encourage you. "Take your time. We're in no rush." Is there a wave about to go down? We're so down. In fact, let's start the wave. Every single play, we stood and high fived one another. To anyone who lingered in the aisle looking for their seats, we warned them loudly, "Oh, you better watch out. The seat police are going to yell at you." During the seventh inning stretch, they moved onto the stairs because they couldn't see around us. Couldn't see what? We're not sure because what exactly is so exciting on the field during the seventh inning stretch?

By the time Lisa returned from getting us ice cream in a helmet cup ($18 total) in the 8th inning, they had left.

Lisa was forced to get this pink helmets because that's all they had. Which is odd. They also had no change so Lisa was forced to use her card to pay for them. Also odd.

Anyway, back to our seat neighbors.The people in the row next to us were sitting in our actual seats but since there were two empty seats at the end of the aisle, we didn't complain. There was about seven people total in this group and we didn't interact with all of them. Most of the nonsense came from the two men directly next to us. One was an older gentleman wearing a Mets jacket, but complained loudly about the Mets the entire time. And also about the Yankees. He was very angry but seemed to be somewhat supportive of the A's. The one next to him was a young guy wearing full Athletics' attire. He complained about Yankee Stadium, but had never been to Oakland (if he'd had, there's no way he would've complained about our stadium because Oscar the Grouch's garbage can is nicer than the Coliseum). He knew all of the players' specific cheers that only an A's fan would know, but spoke with a New York accent. It's okay to root against the home team (even though the seventh inning stretch song specifically says you shouldn't), but don't be an a-hole about it. They were simply over the top about their anti-Yankee-ness. Finally, Serena had to ask the question. "Did you fly in from San Jose or San Francisco?" They laughed. They were from the Bronx. They were Mets fans who just hated the Yankees. So Serena asked why the whole A's outfit for a team they don't care about. The old man laughed and basically called the young kid an idiot. Somehow we mentioned that we went to all thirty ballparks, which is something we tend to blurt out a lot. To anyone who'll listen really. And to some who don't really want to talk to us at all. The old man got so excited by this and he introduced us to one of his friends at the other end of the aisle. This man had been to over 7,000 baseball games and had a spreadsheet tabulating all of the ballparks he'd been to, the date of the games, the score, etc. It was pretty incredible. Our thirty ballparks didn't seem so fancy after checking out this spreadsheet.

Oh, and the Yankees won in extra innings thanks to back to back Brett Gardner and Mike Ford solo home runs.

 

The End.

Yankees' Star Wars Night 2018

Ever since Thor Bobblehead Night 2017, we have vowed never to miss out on a premium giveaway ever again. Therefore, we left Long Island at 3 pm for a 7pm game start. We stupidly listened to the Waze app, who claimed it could save us 10 minutes with an alternative route. She's a liar. She wasted at least 35 minutes of our time, if not 45, ambling around the back streets of the Bronx. You people are not from here, but allow us to assure you that you don't want to be wandering around this section of the Bronx. There's no one to protect you here. No Devil of Hell's Kitchen. No Luke Cage of Harlem. No Jessica Jones. Even they don't venture into this part of Manhattan. By the time we parked in the garage it was after 4:30 and we panicked that we wouldn't get a bobblehead and it was a very special bobblehead. Aaron Judge and his gap tooth dressed like a Jedi. This was an imperative free giveaway. If we missed it, why bother even attending the game? We know we've said this 1,000 times, but it must be repeated again. Just make enough bobbleheads for all us! Then we wouldn't have to get to the game two hours early. It's exhausting.

We ran to the closest gate, which happened to be near the bleachers and found a rather small line and a huge stack of bobbleheads. Which means we freaked out for no reason. Of course, all was not right in the universe because the security guard took Serena's Wonder Woman water bottle because it was aluminum and he's a stupid rule follower.

 

After collecting our bobbleheads, we went in search of characters. Priority #2 of Star Wars Night. Who even gives a shit about the game when Star Wars Night is afoot?

Unfortunately, by the time we raced to our usual photo opp spot, the characters were leaving to line up for the on field parade. We were almost dejected when we noticed that R2D2 wasn't going anywhere. We overheard the "handler" say, "the only reason he's here right now is that he needs to charge up before we head to the field." Bingo.

Lifetime achievement unlocked. 

We had some time before the on field festivities would begin, so we decided to get food. Quick backstory before we dive into our food choices. We recently weighed ourselves and found us wanting. Therefore, we've recently adopted a low carb diet (mainly fruits, vegetables, etc.) with a focus on protein and healthy fats. Minimal to no processed foods. When Star Wars Night rolled around, we were only on the cusp of week two, so it seemed in poor taste to fall entirely off the wagon so quickly. You can imagine how difficult it is to stick to a strict diet at a ballpark. After much debate and a little bit of belly aching, we ended up settling on the simple sushi rolls (the special rolls have too much shit on them). We realize that in previous blog posts (particularly in our Safeco Field post) we mentioned that we don't relish the idea of eating sushi at a ballpark, but desperate times call for desperate measures. We figured that we'd either be fine or lose all of the weight we gained due to food poisoning. We each ordered a side of edamame and two rolls for $30. Lisa ordered a spicy tuna and a vegetable roll and Serena ordered a spicy tuna and a spicy salmon roll. Before you scoff at this price, it's actually pretty comparable to one of our local sushi delivery places. 

The sushi totally exceeded our expectations.  We were pleasantly surprised by how decent the rolls were. We probably wouldn't gravitate to the sushi stand on every visit, but it was a nice change of pace for us. 

After food, we headed up to our section to watch the Star Wars festivities. The photos and video will speak for themselves here.

 

 

 

 

As you can see, we really got into photographing the big screen. 

Video 

The ceremonial first pitch was thrown by Ron Howard.

 

The game gets less interesting for us because we got everything we wanted and our attention span has an expiration date. We were at the ball game way too early and the activities were too numerous for us to continue to focus on one thing. We found ourselves playing with the bobblehead a lot. This is the view from our seats and our shirts. Lisa bought a brand new one that morning for the occasion. 

 

 This is a photo of Giancarlo dressed like an X-Wing pilot.

 

There is something that needs to be discussed before we touch upon the game and it has to do with the current Yankee roster and they're complete and total lack of Star Wars knowledge. The big screen showed an off camera person interviewing individual players about favorite Star Wars movies, favorite characters, etc. 90% of the players confessed to not having seen Star Wars. How is this even possible? Oh, wait, they're all infants and probably weren't born to even see Phantom Menace in the theater (which is literally the worse Star Wars movie, by the way. Serena won't even let Lisa watch it). One guy actually replied that he was more of a Trekkie. It's not Star Trek Night! It's Star Wars! Lie, you big dope! Furthermore, what kind of person chooses Star Trek over Star Wars. You're seriously choosing William Shatner over Harrison Ford and Darth Vader? You're an asshole. Marketing should've stepped up and told these nincompoops what the answers were instead of embarrassing us, embarrassing themselves, embarrassing their families, and embarrassing any unborn children that they might be considering to have. 

The game actually started off pretty impressive followed by the bullpen pissing away a perfectly good CC Sabathia start (look at him now...that possibly could've been his last quality start and his bullpen failed him). Most of the assholes in the bullpen are the same assholes who had never seen Star Wars. Jack Wagons. The Yankees ended up winning in extra innings, but Serena still hasn't forgiven them for this whole insult to her favorite childhood trilogy. 

Yankees' Star Wars Night 8-25-17

We could not miss getting this free giveaway. It was a Darth Vader pom pom knit hat. Missing the Thor bobblehead was bad enough. To miss Vader would be a travesty. Therefore, we arrived two hours early and stood on this asinine line:

We were concerned. This was feeling a little bit like Thor day. Fortune finally favored us because once the gates opened, the stadium security started funneling us into shorter corals. We scored our hats and were immediately greeted by the Jedi and Sith.

 

 

 

From here, we went to the section where we had met Chewbacca and sure enough:

Han Solo isn't looking at the camera as you can see.. We took five photos. Han wasn't looking at the camera in any of them. Because he spent the entire time yelling at Serena for her tank top. It featured a graphic of Darth Vader and Baby Luke Skywalker and Jengo Fett and Baby Boba. On the bottom it says, "my dad is cooler than your dad." Han insisted that he was a better father than both of those dads, but let's be serious. He was murdered by his son. Who is an a-hole. Which Serena told him. Hence, this photo.

The characters headed toward the field shortly after, so we chose to get food. First, we started with garlic french fries. Then we stood on line for Mighty Quinn's barbecue. While waiting, we ate all of them.

After which, we proceeded to order a burnt ends sandwich, mac and cheese, and a crispy spicy chicken sandwich ($14, $8.50, and $13). Serena was going to order the brontosaurus rib because what the f*ck is that? But then we saw the price. $38. Um, no.

We ate our food and watched the Star Wars festivities from the upper deck.

Then we met a jawa. Which was awesome.

Views from our seats:

 

Some more fun tid bits:

 

Now for the constructive criticism:
* Why does Darth Vader hang out in the suites? Why can he not mingle with us riff raff? Change this immediately, Yankees. Immediately.
* Why were players permitted to choose their music for this game? At bat music should've been from the Star Wars soundtrack.
* The rally video montage should've included the Millennium Falcon hovering over the stadium instead of the Yankees doing baseball activities in slow motion.
* Kylo Ren should not be permitted on the field, in the building, or anywhere near the building. He should be forced to walk through the streets of the Bronx by himself.
* Also, no Rogue One characters. That was a bullshit movie.
* The players should make it their business to learn something about the movie franchise because far too many of the players questioned about Star Wars Night didn't know what the hell they were talking about, which is borderline offensive. 
* The Yankees should make more of an effort to win on Star Wars Night.

Yankees vs. Blue Jays 7-4-17

Again, two games in one week. Like champions. Unfortunately, we had to watch the Yankees play one of our most hated AL opponents - the Toronto Blue Jays. It's not the team we hate so much (though Jose Bautista needs to suck a bag of d*cks), but the fans. We're not saying that all Blue Jays fans are front runners, but let's face it. A huge portion of them are. We've been to their ballpark and despite seeing two games there, failed to witness a single sold out game. The stands were empty. Why? Because they're hockey fans. Yet they have no problem traveling to other people's ballparks and behaving like complete and total a$$ clowns. Explain.

But this is not about the Canadian invasion. This is about the birth of our nation and how patriotic we are.

Major holidays always bring out the jack wagon drivers, so we chose to take the train to the game. It was a lot better than anticipated and we only met one insane person screaming about us all being trapped in a cage and only one person that pooped his pants. Which is a pretty excellent day as far as we're concerned.

Once inside the stadium, we went in search for food. It took us a little while because we simply couldn't decide what to do. We wanted the Frank's Red Hot mac and cheese, but didn't want to keep eating the same thing. We tend to do that. We circled the Frank's Red Hot Terrace a few times before finally settling for the AT&T Sports Lounge. They served beer, had tables, and included a pop up Lobel's stand. Next door is a Mighty Quinn's stand, so we ordered burnt end sandwiches. At the Lobel's stand, we ordered a plate of potato wedge fries topped with steak and gravy. Then we got beer. So, basically we spent a sh*t ton of money on total nonsense.

 The sandwiches were AMAZING. Super tasty.

This was delicious, but it was not the platter we thought we were ordering. We THOUGHT we ordered a plate of french fries topped with steak. We apparently ordered chopped cubes of meat piled on top of potatoes. In the defense of Lobel's, the sign clearly stated what it was when we chose it, but we're idiots.

After eating entirely too much meat, we headed for our seats. It hurts to walk up the stairs because our pants were too tight from all the meat. Our seats were pretty awesome. Great view of the field.

 

 

As you can see, we're very adorable and patriotic.

The downfall? Hot. As. F*ck. No coverage. All sun. No breeze. It was like someone decided to roast us like pigs on a stick at a luau. We smelled like barbecued chicken.

 

Unfortunately, there isn't much to discuss regarding the game except for the a-hole Blue Jays' fans. And there really isn't much to discuss regarding them either except that they were a-holes. Aaron Judge scored the only run for the Yankees with a solo home run. CC Sabathia crapped the bed.

As we walked to Penn from the subway station, we passed a drunk man with puke in his beard.

On the LIRR, we got bored and Lisa played with her Snapchat filters:

 

 

You're welcome.