Johan Santana to the Giants

Got your attention, didn't it? We're just kidding. This is not a real rumor. To the best of our knowledge, we are, in fact, telling a lie. Though...if he is being shipped off to the Giants to join the Cy Young Award winner hit parade, can someone let us in on the secret? Not that we'd blame him for wanting to leave New York. He can't even win a game when he hands the ball to the bullpen in the 8th inning. Even when he hasn't given up any earned runs, he still manages to lose. We're not number crunchers or anything, but we're starting to suspect his record was better when he played with the Twins.

Our poll garnered a whopping 5 total responses. Impressive. Are we pissing you people off or something? Have you stopped reading? Are we boring you? Are we too negative? Are we insulting you? Are we (god forbid) not funny? Would you rather read Alyssa Milano's "In Touch" blog instead of ours? We'll probably kill ourselves if that's it. Lisa feels that maybe you don't know where the poll is located. If this is the case, Serena will write a procedure and conduct an inservice session in the parking lot of her office this afternoon after work. Please email us if you'd like to register for this class. Of the 5 pathetic votes (who might be Sean's friend, Steve, who figured out a loophole on our poll and is able to vote multiple times), most agree that at this point any addition to the Yankees, whether it's Alex Rodriguez, Madonna, or Meatball, would be a help. We're happy to see that we're not the only pessimistic people watching the New York teams.

Other Baseball notes: On Tuesday, Ryan Zimmerman's 30 game hit streak came to an end against the San Francisco Giants. In this same game, Barry Zito lost again. His sad, miserable record is now 1-3. Maybe he needs to move from the downward dog into tree or perhaps full lotus. Clearly the dog is not helping. And because we haven't picked on him in awhile: David Wright, we're still not talking to you!

Lisa attended Tuesday, May 12th's Mets game against the Braves (without Laurie...notice how they won) and enjoyed the beautiful sight of a hairy man in a thong running the bases. We hear David got his number and the two of them went on a yoga retreat with Barry Zito.

Sadly...this is all we have today since the baseball headlines have been horribly dull lately. This about covers it for the week: Manny on steroids, Roger on steroids but in denial, Yankees watching wind patterns, and Carlos Beltran is growing a beard.

(this is us bored with the baseball community this week. We hope things are more spicy for our next blog)

We'd like to dedicate these uplifting words written and performed by Katy Perry to the baseball world (in particular, the Mets and Yankees): "Cos' you're hot and you're cold, you hit and then suck, you're in and you're out, you're wrong when it's right, it's win and then lose, we fight, we break up, we kiss (but not Beltran or Damon) and make up."