Friday, June 26, 2009

Hot Children in the Parking Lot (Sing like the song, "Hot Child in the City")

Yes, if you look at the picture closely, you will notice that we are sitting in Lisa's automobile instead of Serena's cubicle. Due to extenuating circumstances that shall be hence forth referred to as "Ben Affleck," we have been forced to re-locate for blogging purposes. Feel for us...the sun is actually out for the first time in months, it's hot and humid, and we are too broke to keep the air conditioner on in Lisa's car. The windows are open, but unfortunately, there's no breeze to cool us. Just our perspiration and the dank air. Thank god for Secret...strong enough for a man, ph balanced for the traveling baseball babes.

Results from last week's poll of "who should win the Tide Award for cleanest uniform" are as follows: David Ortiz won with 5 votes because he doesn't play in the field enough and Mr. Met came in second with 4 votes because as we all know, he dresses to impress. Carlos Beltran and Milton Bradley scored no votes...which is good for them, we guess, but lame for us.

In other sad and pathetic news on the TBB front, our guest appearance on LATB Blog Talk Radio on Sunday night has been canceled due to technical difficulties. Bernadette has been forced to cancel her show until mid-July. Hopefully, she's back up and running by July 12th. We wish Bernadette the best of luck with that. We know how excited all 9 of our readers were to listen to our fantastic voices on blog radio, but you'll just have to wait a little longer for our debut.

Today's baseball notes: The Mets finally allowed Santana to win a game yesterday afternoon. We hear he is no longer reaching for the Prozac. On 6/21, Barry Zito actually held onto a no hitter going into the 7th inning against the Rangers. Andruw Jones (of all the annoying people to do this) screwed Zito's shut out when he hit a two-run home run. Zito had 8 strikeouts in his 3-2 victory. Holy crap, could the real Zito be standing up here? John Smoltz made his first start with the Red Sox since coming back from the DL last night. Unfortunately, his outing against the Nationals did not go over so well. It was so bad that we're not going to go into detail about it. Our thoughts are with you in this troubled time, Smoltzy.

Now onto the "big" weekend at Citi Field. You're probably wondering why we avoid the Subway Series like the plague every year. If we're such big Mets and Yankees fans, why aren't we excited for this every season? We'll tell you why. Every time the Mets and Yankees play each other, every jerk under the sun who thinks they're a fan crawl out from underneath the rocks to fight with each other about whose team sucks harder. Unlike some people, Lisa and I actually do not bicker with each other. If we do fight about our teams, it usually goes something like this:

Serena: The Yankees are going to lose because they suck and can't score any runs
Lisa: No. The Mets are going to lose because they suck and don't care about winning

Not once has Serena referred to Lisa as a scum bag Mets fan. Lisa has never called Serena a low life Yankees fan. What is it about the Subway Series that cause such animosity between New Yorkers? The teams aren't even in the same leagues. On a daily basis, the teams' performances do not affect each other's standings. As far as we're concerned, we can't figure out why people are bragging so much about their teams because they're both in lousy second place behind the Phillies and Red Sox...who we hate.

We're pretty much convinced that this series will not be a pretty one based on the teams' recent behavior. Pitching will either give up 100 runs on each side or the teams will not be able to scratch 1 lousy run across the plate. Errors will be made. Runners will not steal when the should, slide into bases, or run out plays. Men in scoring position will remain on base. Double plays will be hit. Infield pop flies will be dropped. Inspired by Milton Bradley, someone may even throw a ball into the bleachers with less than 2 outs and men on base. Catchers will not throw out base stealers. Finally, someone will probably comment on how hot Brian Schneider's wife is and that Kate Hudson should be banned from the ball park because she is bad luck for the Yankees.

Lisa has decided to watch channel 8 this weekend, which on her television, is the Chicago network. Perhaps the Cubs and/or the White Sox will be on. Serena is going to watch Jared (brother) play softball for the North Shore Core Lab team because they're the defending champ and probably have got more heart.

In memory of the late great King of Pop, we leave you with these words: "They're bad, they're bad, you know it, you New York teams...and the whole world has to answer right now just to tell you once again who's bad....the yankees and mets"

Our thoughts go out to the Jackson and Fawcett families.


  1. You guys missed a good game last night (well, I thought so). The Mets gave it away again, but Gardner put on quite a show!

  2. I didn't miss all of the game. Sean and I had it on the radio for CC's no hitter. As soon as we got home and turned on the TV in the 4th, Sheff hit a home run. I think I might be bad luck. : )

  3. You're not bad luck, Serena. And neither is Kate. They won with her there at Citi Field, so maybe she's turning out to be good luck. But I give that relationship another two weeks!