Friday, July 31, 2009

Traveling Baseball Babes' Second Half Picks

For starters, we'd like to figure out who exactly is voting on our polls. Out of 13 votes, 8 of you are nice enough to believe that we should be on television. One person has gone so far as to suggest that we have our own reality show (thank you, secret friend). We happen to agree. 1 of you thought that we belong in a mental hospital. Well, whoever you are, you are not very nice. You're just not. You're not going to get anywhere in life being that mean. You probably don't even have any special secret friends like we do. Now...let's discuss the nasty 4 people who thought that we should only be on television if we are replaced. It's not even the replacement part that pissed us off. We get it. We don't take the best pictures at stadiums and sometimes we look like we have a stink eye. We also understand that there are hotter chicks in this world than we are. We're not in denial. We're completely self aware. However, the fact that you think Alyssa Milano and Jessica Simpson would do a better job than us is appalling!!! Do you not read this blog? Do you not understand that we hate Alyssa Milano? Did you not pick up on the fact that that choice was a joke option? If you continue to behave in this asinine manner, we're going to restrict your joke option votes.

We have a ton of baseball notes for you today. For starters, on Saturday, July 25th (only 2 days after we were in attendance at Yankees Stadium), the Yankees put Brett Gardner on the 15-day DL because of a broken left thumb. On Monday, July 27th, the Mets fired Vice President, Player Development (what this is, we don't know. How does one get this job?), Tony Bernazaro for a tirade that involved closer, Francisco Rodriguez and several minor league players. Apparently, this tirade included Bernazaro ripping his shirt off and challenging players to...what? We don't know. It could have been a duel, dance off contest, or wrestling match. The ridiculousness of the entire situation reminds us of that fantastic incident with Braves minor league coach, Phil Wellman in June of 2007. Coaches just don't have tantrums with flair anymore. Wang is pulling a Carl Pavano and will be out for the rest of the season...again. On Wednesday, July 29, the Yankees announced that he will be undergoing arthroscopic surgery on his cry baby shoulder. Following his perfect game, Mark Buerhle set the MLB record for retiring 45 consecutive batters during Tuesday night's game against the Twins. The Phillies have scored 2008 AL Cy Young Award winner Cliff Lee from the Indians for four lousy minor leaguers. Randy Johnson has a torn rotator cuff, which will keep him off the field until at least September. Finally, it appears that Fatty McFatty, David Ortiz tested positive for steroids in 2003. If we were him, we'd get a refund on those steroids because his body isn't nearly as nice as AROD's. On a brighter note, he is an excellent bedazzler. We'd like to congratulate him on his hot Jackie O glasses that he was rocking during the press conference following the game against Oakland yesterday afternoon.

Finally, on to our main topic of discussion. Our playoff picks for the second half.

American League East:
In the beginning of the season, Lisa felt that the Yankees would take the division and they are currently leading. She is going to stick with her original decision. Serena was convinced that the Rays would defend their title, but as of now, it doesn't appear that it will happen. She now feels the division title and wild card will be divided between the Yankees and Red Sox.

American League Central:
Both of us had picked Minnesota to take the division. Even though Detroit is currently leading the division, the Twins are only 2 back and we still feel that they've got shot. Lisa now thinks the AL Wild Card will be the White Sox instead of the A's (no offense, Brad Ziegler, but she's got a Sox poncho now).
American League West:
We agreed that the Angels would clinch this one with flying colors. It appears that we were correct in our estimate as they currently have a 3 game lead on the second place Texas Rangers. It is our duty to point out now that Lisa's former Wild Card pick is 17.5 games out of playoff contention.

National League East:
It still causes her chest pains, but Lisa is going to continue with the Phillies. Originally, Serena had been torn between the Phillies and Braves for division leader and Wild Card, but now she doesn't think that the Wild Card will come from the East at all. Therefore, she's going with the Phillies. Lisa had high hopes for the Mets taking but they're 9.5 games behind Philly and 6.5 back in the Wild Card race. Despite these numbers, Lisa continues to believe that the Mets have the ability to take the Wild Card. Now that's faith.

National League Central:
Our pick for the Cubs seems to be accurate for now. They are leading the Central by a 1/5 game over the Cardinals. Amazing...a team with an idiot like Milton Bradley is still able to win enough games to keep them on top. Serena thinks now that this is the division where the NL Wild Card will come from and that it will be the Cardinals.

National League West:
Lisa had high aspirations for the pitching staff in San Francisco, but they're currently 7 games behind the division leading Dodgers. Serena was off by a long shot when she chose the Diamondbacks. They are currently 19 games out of first place. Serena is depressed to admit that the Dodgers will most likely maintain division supremacy, but due to our arch nemesis being a Dodger fan, Lisa is still pulling for the Giants.

Bon Jovi ends today's lunch break session with, "Oh, we're halfway there, oh, oh, living on a prayer! Take our hands and we'll make it, we swear. Oh, oh, living on a prayer."

BallHype: hype it up!

1 comment:

  1. I think you two would be great starring in your own reality show! And I also think the Yanks will not only get into the playoffs but win the World Series. I know. I'm not exactly impartial. What can I say? The heart wants what it wants. :)