Sunday, September 30, 2012

Wild Bullsh*t

The 2012 postseason is almost upon us. Whoo hoo. In preparation for its arrival, we asked what you would like us to cover on our blog. 2 of you want us to blog during a game at a bar while drinking. While we totally understand why you chose this (it's going to be hilarious), we can't help but wonder at your intelligence level. Only 1 person each voted for covering an out-of-market World Series parade or an out-of-market playoff game if the Yankees don't advance. Aren't these options more interesting than us drunk blogging? Thankfully no one voted for us to cover an entire story on Joe Buck's hair. We would've done it because you asked, but we really would've been pissed off about it.

We're trying hard to be excited about the playoffs. The fact that the entire American League situation is still up in the air is pretty thrilling. However, we're not going to lie to you. We do not want to be sitting here with you today and we don't want to talk about the playoffs or baseball. We just want to finish watching the Packers/Saints game, drink our newly purchased pumpkin ale, nap, and then watch the Giants game. Lisa arrived at Serena's house during the second quarter of the Jets/49ers game (what an abortion of a football game). We napped during halftime. Watched the second half. Bought beer. Ate. Watched the first half of the Packers/Saints game. Thought that maybe we should start blogging just to get it over with. Bitched about a variety of things. Finally started blogging.

Here's why we're feeling just a touch flat about the playoffs. That stupid added Wild Card team. It's literally the dumbest idea we've ever heard of. We've come up with more brilliant plans following Jameson shots than this asinine piece of work that the MLB has come up with. That's really saying something because we never remember what happens following Jameson shots. It's bad enough that oftentimes Wild Card teams defeat teams that legitimately have the best record in the league, but you know what? Sh*t happens. Now you're telling us that there is potential for an even sh*ttier team to defeat the team with the best record. Here's how it should work: when you're in little league baseball and you suck, you shouldn't get a trophy. The kids who play the best and win should get a trophy. That's what makes winning so valuable. You get rewarded for your hard work! What's the point in playing if you're going to get a trophy regardless? Why bother putting in effort?

A lot of old-schoolers don't like the Wild Card to begin with. Lisa doesn't love it, Serena's okay with it. It kind of makes things exciting as the season draws near as we wait and see who will qualify. A second Wild Card team from each league is just a joke. You're talking about a team who will have a vastly worse record than the Division leader, yet we're going to reward them for an entire season of mediocrity. Let's look at the NL East for an example. Both the Nationals and Braves have both clinched playoff berths. The next two teams vying for a Wild Card spot are the Cardinals and Dodgers. Both the Nationals and Braves are teams with over 90 wins apiece. The Cardinals and Dodgers currently stand at 85 and 83 wins respectively. That's a gap of 10 victories and yet these two teams get to contend with the same Wild Card spot as the Nationals and Braves? That's not fair. Clearly the Nationals and Braves have been more successful all season. They should be rewarded, not penalized. If the season ended today with the Nationals clinching the NL East with the Braves and Cardinals competing for the Wild Card spot in a one-game playoff, the weaker team could beat the better one just because they performed better in ONE game. It's total bullsh*t.

Baseball notes: RA Dickey, Jered Weaver, and David Price got their 20 wins this week. Hooray for them. Apparently 20-game win seasons are being handed out like wh*res hand out favors.

Today, Mike Trout became the first major league rookie to hit 30 home runs and steal 40 bases...ever. As in, no other rookie has ever done that before. Which basically makes Mike Trout a real American hero.

And that's it right away, as Serena's old boss, Tommy, would say. Peace out, motha fuckaaaaaahs!


  1. "We've come up with more brilliant plans following Jameson shots" and this is why I voted for blogging from a bar! ferchristsake.

    the stupidest part of the new format...the lowest seed hosts the 1st 2 games of the 5 game series!

  2. Ok we see your side.. It is going to be the most amazing blog post ever.
    So sad we live in a world where failure is now rewarded. I guess next they will start having parades for the loser of the World Series.

  3. blog from a bar about the parade in the World Series losing team's city!

    also, the wild card team pitching is going to be pretty screwed.

  4. Randy, this will please you. We found a bar where we can blog amid a myriad of televisions broadcasting a variety of sporting events all while getting totally tanked for the glorious price of $30. As they say, "it's on like Donkey Kong."

  5. Okay, as I weighed in on whether I loved or hated the new playoff format, I see I am already in the minority. WTF??

    I guess I am really beginning to feel my age. I remember when clinching a playoff spot meant you won either the National League or American League Pennant. Gawd . . . what a concept.

    Okay, sure . . . I am not so old fashioned that I can't see that adding a semi finals and even quarter finals tier to baseball didn't make it more interesting sometimes, and that nothing really compares to the heightened tension of a 7 game playoff. I however, have never liked the 5 game playoff. Period! Exclamation point!!

    For me, the ONLY reason to have a wild card team is to even out the number of teams vying for the semi finals (aka League Championship series) I think there are times when you can legitimately say that a wild card team does allow the best team "at that particular time" make it into the playoffs. 2011, for example, the Cardinals squeak into the playoffs when the Phillies beat a fading Braves team on the last day of the season. It can be argued that the Braves sucked so bad during September that they had no more right to the playoffs than the Cardinals, and lets face it, the Cardinals played like champs the last month.

    The problem is when added wild card teams encourage the late season resting of regulars as the better teams coast to the playoffs, but honestly, I don't see any reasonable way to fix that issue. But the fewer wild cards, the less the problem, imho.

    And as one that voted for the drunken blogging, the only thing better would be a webcast of your drunken blogging. I'd pay to see that, I think.

    Please notice I am not gloating over the Sunday Night Football win. As much as I am an Eagles Fan, I do find it very difficult to root for Michael Vick.

  6. As you can see, Jim, we are also in the minority in hating the new Wild Card shennanigans. The only reason the MLB created it was to make more money via advertising and merchandise. It has nothing to with promoting competition.

    There's a special place in hell for people like Michael Vick. In the meantime, we hope he contracts leprosy and his dick falls off.

  7. Not trying to make you sound old... Ok maybe a little bit but Lisa's Dad agrees with you. Best of NL best of AL and call it a day!

    1. I have to respectfully disagree about the playoff format. While it is not perfect, there was more excitement going down the stretch. Also, the fact that for instance, the Braves and Cards have to use their aces to pitch this wc game and wont be able to use them for the first few games of the NLDS is an advantage to the division winner. I remember watching baseball as a kid and wondering why there were so many teams and only a few played in the post season. Of course, being a Cub fan, we need all the help we can get!

  8. why in my day only 1 team in each league qualified for the playoffs...and get off my lawn.

    I liked the 1 wild card addition, I thought there usually seemed there was a team that would get robbed because they were better than some of the division winners. According to the folks at wiki, 10 wild card teams made it to the World Series and 5 of them won the whole thing. I remember people like Bob Costas bitching when it expanded about tradition, yeah well douche bag, the traditional way was for only 1 team from each league to qualify...exciting.

    re: bar with myraid of tvs- whoop whoop! with video tape TBB highlights!

  9. Wiki is going to take over the world at some point. In all honesty the 1 wild card addition is fine but know it's just getting a little ridiculous not to mention confusing to follow with all these rules.
    Baseball,Babes,(we us the term lightly when talking about ourselves) blogging and beer! The things we do for our fans!