Friday, August 7, 2009

Root Beer Floats & Other TBB Nonsense

We’ve infiltrated another company’s secure parking lot where we’ve found a high Wifi signal for blogging purposes. Hopefully, when our lunch break is over and blog session complete, we’ll actually be able to get out of here.

We shall start off with the results of last week’s poll. We asked you if you felt that teams deserved to have more than one road uniform. The reason for this insanity is that a little birdie told us that some teams only have one road uniform that is washed after every single game. This is obviously not a New York team. In particular, the Mets have a bevy of different colored uniforms (blue, white, white with pinstripes, grey, and black). Out of 11 votes, 6 of you were shocked that some teams only have one uniform (trust us, we were alarmed at this as well). One lone person believed that everyone should just play naked. You are probably what Vince Vaughn from Wedding Crashers would refer to as a “stage 5 clinger.” Two of you felt that teams should only have one uniform to begin with because players should have to do their laundry every night. Finally, another two felt that teams deserved more than one uniform (which we agree with) because no one is going to cuddle with a man who wears smelly uniforms. To those of you who wear smelly uniforms should take note of this. You're not going to be cuddled with. Is this something you want to happen to you?

Today’s Baseball Notes: On Sunday, August 2nd, Melky Cabrera hit for the cycle against Lisa’s poncho favorite Chicago White Sox (please see US Cellular Field blog for further details). Melky is the first Yankee to accomplish this feat in 14 years. Go Melky! Party like it’s your birthday. Jonathan Niese is out for the season for doing a split during Wednesday afternoon’s game against St. Louis. Clearly, he did not take bendy lessons from Houston Street. We know Houston is bendy because we’ve seen warm up in the bullpen when he was with Oakland…needless to say, it was hot. Perhaps Barry Zito can teach him some flexibility techniques via yoga. Steph and Dave (our fabulous hair colorist) were in attendance for the game celebrating their anniversary. It was their first baseball game…ever. And the Mets were kind enough to get a “W” in their honor. Why doesn’t that happen for us? Yesterday in Oakland (home of BFF Brad Ziegler, we might add) was Root Beer Float Day. Considering 75% of this blog is practically dedicated to Ziegler, you’d think he would’ve notified us of this awesome day, but NO. We had to hear about it via a random email from the Oakland A’s themselves. How impersonal! Don’t ask how Serena gets these emails because Lisa’s the one who purchased our tickets to McAfee last season. Serena suspects that Lisa secretly gave out Serena’s information to the A’s. To make matters worse, guess who was among the bartenders at Root Beer Float Day? No, not the TBB. We’ll give you a hint: it sounds like Zrad Biegler. Some BFF-er he is. Also yesterday, Prince Fielder (Milwaukee) and Guillermo Mota (Dodgers) were fined for their escapades earlier this week. For those of you unfamiliar with the story, Mota hit Fielder with a pitch in a game where the Dodgers were blowing the Brewers out of the water. This was apparently in retaliation for a hit batsman on the Dodgers side. At the end of the game, Fielder ran across the field into the LA clubhouse to accost Mota. Fielder’s teammates were forced to restrain him. Personally, we think that they should’ve let them duke it out. Then we could’ve posted the video here. We all would've had a laugh. Finally, Lisa received new plant to replace her old bamboo plant that she killed by overwatering it. New plant is named Murphy. Now the Mets can never trade him.

In TBB celebrity news, apparently we’re climbing the status ladder. While surfing the net for other baseball blogs, Lisa came upon one called "Everything Baseball" on The owner of this blog was apparently in attendance at the same Yankees game as us. Among his photos from that game, there is a paparazzi shot of the TBB standing near Brad Ziegler in the rain as he signed autographs for fans. According to the blog, he couldn’t figure out why Brad would be out signing in such horrible weather, but we suspect it’s probably because he spotted us from the dugout and remembered us from the day he tried to kill us. Because he wanted to get rid of us as quickly as possible so he wouldn’t have to hear about us bitching that he tried to kill us, he came over to greet us. Or…maybe he has no recollection as to who we are and just felt sorry for the fans in the rain delay.

We’ve finally figured out our stadium tour timeline for the next few years. We figure this will help us save money accordingly. Granted, this is subject to change, but as of now our plans are as follows:
2010: Dodgers/Angels/Padres & of course, meeting up with Erin & Matt (see US Cellular Field & Wrigley Field blogs)
2011: Nationals & Braves (if we decide not to visit London, we’ll throw in the Blue Jays as well)
2012: Twins/Brewers (say hello to Baby Jesus & Serena’s beloved Morneau)
2013: Tigers/Indians/Pirates (this will give Lisa plenty of time to find that perfect pirate outfit for the game)

If by some magical coincidence someone actually puts us on a reality TV show like She-Fan and secret friend recommended, then perhaps we can squeeze more trips in. We'll be sure to keep you posted on that front.

“Our root beer brings all the baseball players to the yard and they’re like, yummy ice cream!”

BallHype: hype it up!


  1. Your blog is amazing! I always find myself agreeing with your sage wisdom. Since you seem to have such an affinity for Bay Area pitchers, please consider adding some commentary on Tim Lincecum. I am interested in your perspective on the floppy-haired phenom.

    Keep up the great work! You have my vote for a reality tv show any day!

    -CM, another hard-core female baseball fan (we've got to stick together!)

  2. thanks for the anniversary shout out girls:)but i must clarify one thing. while it was the fabulous colorist daves'first time at a game it wasnt mine. ive spent many a day as a little girl going to yankee games with the now othewise known as clown of bellmore. and lisa and i have been to many shae games as little ones,although i have no idea why we were on a big bus?! who were we traveling with!lol.anyway enjoyed reading blog as usual! you make my fridays complete!love ya!!!

  3. Hey Anonymous, Thanks for posting a comment! We actually adore Tim Lincecum. We've been trying to figure out the scientifics behind someone Lincecum's size being able to throw as hard as he can.

    Hi Steph, we screwed up that one big time. You're awesome and we love you. You're one of our best readers. : ) Thanks for the reality check!

  4. Love the root beer floats! Where'd you get them? AuntieDukes

  5. Root beer floats have been provided by Tech Support Sean...of course!

  6. dear tech support, please provide said floats to mamadukes

  7. Well clearly the physics behind Lincecum's hard throwing is all in the hair. :)


  8. may have something there, CM. His hair IS glorious!

  9. You two have a really cool blog :)
    I think its fantastic.

  10. Why thank you, Paul. That's very nice of you to say!