We will start today’s blog off with our results from last week’s poll. Of the 8 total votes, 3 agreed with us that Fenway needs to refurbish their seats because the world will get splinters in their bootays from sitting in the current seats. 2 folks had the sense of humor to say that perhaps we should consider these rundown seats as one of the many fond memories that Fenway has bestowed upon us. 1 person felt that we live in a bed of lies. We suspect that this person is the same irate and overall unhappy individual who sat behind us at the game and wanted to shank Lisa. The only thing we can’t figure out is how he found our site to begin with. Our other option is that it’s Dustin Pedroia because he hates us…and is balding in case you haven’t noticed. Finally, 2 people think that the Red Sox should just join the band wagon and build a new stadium. This may be a bit extreme.
Onto today’s topic: our ever lowering self-esteem, which may not sound like it has much to do with baseball, but it does. The MLB consistently contributes to our poor self image. Granted, it doesn’t help that our self esteem isn’t the best to begin with, but still...they don’t need to add to the problem. Since we’ve visited our final stadium of the year, let’s briefly recap how low we’ve actually sunk during this season alone.
- We’ve been rained on during 3 of the 5 games we’ve attended. The Yankees game had originally been scheduled for April and needed to be postponed due to rain only to delayed for 3 hours due to rain again! How wet do we have to look in all of our pictures?
- Alyssa Milano not only published a book and has become the female voice of baseball fans, but also has launched a heinous clothing line and opened a boutique at Citi Field. Serena’s been trying to get published since she graduated and has had to settle for writing about IT in company newsletters. It is worthy to note that Serena majored in writing whereas Alyssa Milano is a washed up TV actress.
- No radio show
- No TV show, thereby extinguishing our dreams of becoming Canadian super stars (don’t ask why Canada). It should be pointed out that Lisa actually submitted her passport application just in case something like this should occur.
- Lisa actually turned down an opportunity to appear on the jumbotron at US Cellular Field because her self image is so poor that she thought White Sox fans would boo her simply because she’s alive. This also brings to mind that in the many visits to our New York stadiums (and countless Islanders’ games), we’ve never once made it to the big screen. Are we that frightening to look at? Disco Stu makes it on the Yankees jumbotron every single game and he looks ridiculous!
- We entered our photo with Billy Cub (who’s not even a real mascot mind you) in his online contest and not only clearly lost, but did not even receive the complimentary Billy Cub t-shirts for entering! Is it because we’re not from Chicago? Cos’ that’s prejudiced! We even signed his petition to make him the Cubs’ legitimate mascot!
- We’ve been booted out of our usual blogging location with guaranteed internet to brave the elements and fickle wifi networks.
- The One Who Shall Not Be Named continues to spite us and we feel that he has begun blacklisting us…at least among the Giants’ pitching rotation and Daniel Murphy, which is just uncalled for.
- BFFer (if we can even call him that anymore) failed to notify us not only about Root Beer Float Day and $1 hot dogs, but of pink pashmina day (more to come on this later in our baseball notes)! What kind of BFFer does that? He’s really becoming a NTAC.
- We actually had to pay Wally the Green Monster to pose for pictures with us. Yes, it was a wonderful birthday gift for Maria, but we could’ve used that money to put her on the jumbotron and get her wasted!
- Our polls have topped out at 10 votes despite working on this blog since February. In addition to this, other than our friends and family who feel obligated to read our blog, we’ve only acquired three legitimate fans, all of which seem to live in California. Depressing. Our own New Yorkers don’t even like us. We’re only liked in California and that’s probably because they don’t really know us.
- Finally, the proof of all proof. The more vacations we go on, the uglier our photographs seem to get. We are frightened by what our pictures during our final stadium visit may look like. We’ve reached our pinnacle during our Vegas pictures and what’s sad about that is that it was our first vacation together and baseball wasn’t even involved! Surely, we can’t get any worse than our Fenway Park photos. Can we? Quasimodo’s got nothing on us!
Enough woe is me rubbish. Today’s baseball notes! On Wednesday night, Derek Jeter tied Lou Gehrig for franchise all time hits leader with 2,721. Serena was in attendance that night with Tech Support Sean and posted pictures last night. Be sure to check that out. As of Thursday morning, “Tiny” Tim Lincecum has shown improvement since missing his start against the Padres Tuesday night because of back spasms. It’s undecided whether or not he’ll make his next scheduled start. Contrary to popular belief (ahem, CM), Tim Lincecum Appreciation Day is not a jinx. Finally, we may be a little late in reporting this, but we’ve only just found out about it. On Monday, August 31st, the Oakland A’s celebrated breast cancer awareness (kudos to them!) by handing out A’s pink pashminas to the first 10,000 fans in attendance. Um, where was BFFer on this one? It seems he’s dropped the ball yet again. Who wouldn’t want a pink pashmina, particularly with the crisp autumn air arriving soon? We would’ve looked awesome in matching A’s pashminas as frolicked in the corn maize and pumpkin patch in October!
Carly Simon truly conveyed our sentiments when she sang, “we’re not vain, we definitely think this song’s not about us…”