Friday, October 30, 2009

Bienvenido a World Series

In our last week’s poll, we asked who you felt should do the on field interviews for the World Series. Of the ten votes, the TBB barely won with 5 votes. Apparently half of you felt that one of us (okay…Serena) telling off Johnny Damon was worth putting us on camera with a microphone. Horrifyingly enough, Jessica Simpson came in close second with 4 votes! This is not funny. At all. You’re telling us that dating Tony Romo (another idiot, mind you) is enough to qualify her as a sports interviewer. Is she going to ask Derek Jeter where chicken of the sea came from? Or perhaps that’s the kind of stuff you’re banking on? Tim Gunn from Project Runway earned the last vote. The fact that Jane Heller garnered no attention is a bit perplexing to us. Technically, she has more business conducting pre-game (or post-game) interviews than we do and definitely way more class and knowledge than Jessica Simpson. Our guess is that most of you felt that Jane was the most obvious choice, but since you think that you’re a real pack of jokesters, you decided to vote for the asinine options instead. If that was your motivation, why didn’t anyone vote for Gerard Butler in his 300 attire? At least we would have had a work of art to look at before and after the game!

Clearly, it’s all about the World Series this week. Despite’s CC’s excellent on Tuesday in Game 1, the Yankees still managed to screw it up. Note the Phillies had no issues capitalizing on Cliff Lee’s stellar performance. Thankfully, last night, AJ Burnett manned up and bounced back from his wretched ALCS start last week.

The most alarming part of the World Series thus far has been Jayson Werth’s facial hair. It’s creepy! For those of you unfamiliar with Werth (or shall we call him FurryWerth?) or may not have noticed the growth on his chin (though we can’t figure out how you’d miss it), we’ve enclosed a picture below:
What the hell is that? Earlier in the season, he at least manicured the lawn! Don’t get us wrong. It was still pretty gross, but it at least wasn’t frightening. Now he looks like a level 5. We’re afraid that it may have swallowed a few small children on their way to the game! Where is Mrs. Werth in all of this? She cannot possibly enjoy rubbing her face against that. If your wife can’t tell you when your facial hair has run amuck, who can? Gentlemen, this doesn’t just apply to Werth. It is vital that you groom yourselves on a regular basis.

With the series tied at one a piece, the Yankees head into the inner circle of Hell, a place where special traitors go to spend their days…oops, we meant Philadelphia. A wonderfully delightful city where children throw ice cubes at you and grown men pee on other people’s bumpers or call your hats ugly. We hope that the Yankees can handle, not the Phillies per say, but their unruly fans. For the likes of Derek Jeter, Jorge Posada, Andy Pettitte, and Mariano Rivera, who are seasoned World Series veterans and accustomed to the rough New York attitude, the Phillies fans shouldn’t be too difficult to tune out. Newbies like Phil Hughes, Mark Teixeira, Robinson Cano, and Alex Rodriguez may become a bit rattled, though again, the rough New York attitude may have sufficiently prepared them. Of course, when it comes to infield pop flies, Alex Rodriguez must be mindful of not becoming distracted by the giant green furry display that is known as the Phillie Phanatic. For any of you Yankees fans heading down to enemy territory this weekend, be careful. Remember, if someone gets in your face and says your hat is ugly, we found that the following comeback worked wonders: “Well, your face ugly, but we didn’t complain.”

Even though Halloween festivities will be rampant on Saturday, don’t forget to tune into Game 3 of the World Series. Andy Pettitte will take the mound against Cole Hamels (who Lisa is frightened at her level of attraction for. Amazing what a Philly player in a suit will do to her…watch out TOWSNBN) on FOX at 7:57 pm. We are confident that if Andy can hold the Phillies’ down, the series can swing in the Yankees favor, especially with CC taking the ball in Game 4.

Onto this week’s baseball notes! The Astros announced that they’ve hired Brad Ziegler as their new manager. Just kidding! We meant Brad Mills. LOL. Oh, we just crack ourselves up. Previously, Mills served under Terry Francona as the Red Sox bench coach for six seasons. On Wednesday, the sale of the Chicago Cubs and other assets was completed. Sadly, TBB was unable to make an adequate offer. Apparently, we were outbid by the Ricketts family. Also on Wednesday, Chase Utley set the post season record by reaching base in 26 straight games. The record had been held by Baltimore’s Boog Powell. Mmmm…Boog’s Barbecue. Apologies. The thought of smoked BBQ always makes us digress. Prior to Yankees triumph in Game 2 over the Phillies, Derek Jeter received the 2009 Roberto Clemente Award from Commissioner, Bud Selig for his work with his Turn 2 Foundation. Congrats to Derek. Alyssa Milano must be so pleased. Props to Janney, who sent us those awesome Premio coupons. Let’s face it, the TBB are two girls that will definitely put those to good use.

Finally, we wish all of you a safe and fun HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
The Fresh Prince kicks off the weekend in Cititzen’s Bank Park with, “In West Philadelphia born and raised, in the playground is where the Yanks will spend most of their days. Chillin’ out, maxin’, relaxin’ all cool and having catch outside of school when a couple of Phillies, they were up to no good! Starting making trouble in the neighborhood. CC got in one little fight and the Phillies ran scared!”


BallHype: hype it up!

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