Friday, April 30, 2010

Stupid Wind of Change

Last week we discussed the AROD and Dallas Braden Battle for Pitchers’ Mound Control that took place during the Yankees’ series against Oakland. In keeping with the theme of Braden’s 5-year old little girl temper tantrum, our poll asked you whether or not Braden needed some serious anger management/an attitude adjustment. Out of 8 votes (which was probably a result of the wonderful Jane Heller advertising Fred K’s Cancer on her blog earlier this week), 6 of you felt that Braden definitely needed anger management because his display of nonsense was frightening. 2 of you were a little more optimistic and thought that the boy just needed to get laid.

As previously mentioned, Jane Heller, writer of the blog, Confessions of a She-Fan, and author of 13 books, was nice enough to write a little blurb about our Fred K’s Cancer event in one of her postings following the Yankees’ defeat at the hands of the Orioles earlier this week. This is what she had to say:

"Before I sign off, I'd like to give a shout out to she-fans extraordinaire and friends of this blog, Serena and Lisa, whose own Traveling Baseball Babes is one of my favorite blogs. They're organizing a terrific fundraising event in Hicksville, LI in June called "Fred K's Cancer." Both of their fathers are named Fred and both men are cancer survivors (and big baseball fans), so Serena and Lisa decided to educate people about their diseases in a very special way. They created a Fred K's Cancer blog, so please check it out and read about their fab event!"

Because of her good deed, we’ve decided to name her the TBB Super Hero of the Week. We wish that we had a trophy made of chocolate to give her, but we don’t. We could send her one of the really sexy beaded bracelets that we’ve made in order to support Fred K’s Cancer. If anyone is interested in purchasing these lovely accessories, we’re selling them for $4. Please contact us at for more information.
Many of you have probably heard the news by now that the MLB has decided to make a few changes to the All Star Game rules. For starters, the rosters have been expanded. Each team will now bring 34 players, with 13 pitchers. We suppose that this makes sense, especially following the marathon game in 2008 at the old Yankees Stadium. We’re pretty sure that if the National League got desperate enough, they were going to call Lisa in to pitch, which is the moment she’s been waiting for her entire life. The second change is that a pitcher who starts on the final Sunday prior to the All Star Break will no longer be eligible to pitch in the All Star Game and will be replaced on the roster.

Finally, a DH will now be used in the All Star Game, regardless of which league the stadium belongs to. Fans will continue to vote for the American League DH, while the National League DH will be chosen by the National League team’s manager. Here’s where the rules get a little shady for us. We’re not even going to touch the fact that we don’t think that fans should be allowed to vote at all because this is simply not the forum. We may, however, discuss that as we get closer to the All Star Break. If during interleague play, the game adopts the rules of the home team, the All Star Game should adhere to the same policy. When the Mets play at Yankees Stadium, the Mets utilize a DH. When the Yankees play at Citi Field, their pitcher is in the lineup. Them’s the rules. The powers to be claim that this will make the game more competitive, but we think that statement is pretty ludicrous. If there’s no DH, the National League has an advantage because their pitchers are already used to having to hit whereas the American League pitchers are not. If there is a DH, the National League team can now substitute their weakest hitter for a player with better offensive numbers. Having broken that down, please explain how this makes the game more competitive? As far as we can tell, in either situation the National League “technically” has the advantage. Obviously this entire argument has no bearing for this year since the game will take place at Angels Stadium, an American League location.

Furthermore, why do the fans get to vote for one team’s DH and not the other? If you’re going to allow stupid fans to vote for the lineup, they should be permitted to make poor choices for the entire lineup, not just part of it. What is the rationale behind not allowing fans to pick the National League’s DH? Fans should either be allowed to vote or not. No halfsies.

Onto this week’s baseball notes: On Tuesday, Serena’s imaginary lover, Justin Morneau left the game with a little stiffness in his upper back during the Twins’ 2-0 victory over Justin Verlander and the Tigers. Twins’ manager, Ron Gardenhire, assures us that it’s nothing serious. However, Morneau was not in the lineup on Wednesday evening. Serena knows this because she watched the game anxiously for signs of his scruffy face. If he’d only he’d give her a call, she would be able to use her magic ways to heal him. She’s sure of it. Cliff Lee will finally make his Mariners’ regular season debut tonight at Safeco Field against the Rangers. In Yankees and Mets-related news, the White Sox (Lisa’s other favorite American League team. She does have a poncho after all) visit the Bronx this weekend to take on the Yanks while the Mets travel to the City of Brotherly Hate to face the Phillies. Super Jinx Laurie took the day to drive down with her son to witness this rivalry in all its glory for herself. Lisa warned her that someone will probably pee on her car (read our Citizen’s Bank Park post for more information), but she wouldn’t listen. Do you know what this means? The Mets are going to lose because we have proof that she is the Mets’ broken mirror.

We sign off by singing David Bowie’s, “ch-ch-ch-ch-changes, turn and face the strain. Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes, don’t tell us that we can’t vote for the NL DH. Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes, where’s your shame, MLB. You left us up to our necks in your stupid voting process. Time may change your rules, but you can’t change all the stupid All Star Games of the past.”

BallHype: hype it up!

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