Friday, April 23, 2010

Babies, Freds, Rookies & Temper Tantrums

Before we report to you the pathetic results of last week’s poll, we happily inform you that Sister had a charming baby girl. 8 lbs. 11 oz. in all her glory. Sister’s ability to pop something that size from her being entitles her to TBB Super Hero of the Week privileges…not that that actually gets her anything. Like a cool parking space or a snazzy keychain, but at least she will feel appreciated. Since Sister was in labor last week, we were a bit hurried and our poll was a little short on options. This apparently hurt our turnout because only 4 people chose to vote. We asked what song you would come out to the plate to if you were a big league hitter like Lisa and the winner with a rousing 2 votes was Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger.” While that song is amazing, can you people get anymore unoriginal? 1 person voted for one of the best stripper songs in history, Warrant’s “Cherry Pie” and 1 other person voted for Outfield’s “Your Love,” which Lisa thought was called, “Josie” (as in “Josie’s on a vacation far away. Come around and talk it over. So many things that I want to say. You know I like my girls a little bit older. I just wanna use your love tonight”). Sadly, no one thought Tina Turner’s “Simply the Best” would be their anthem. Really? That song playing on the radio is what prompted this poll question. In fact, we’re probably going to force the two Freds to come out to that song at the Fred K’s Cancer event because we’re the best daughters ever.

In outstanding Mets news, the boys from Flushing finally won a series! Cue the ticker tape parade, ladies and gentlemen. This is a momentous occasion that needs celebrating. We’ll bathe in it like bubble bath. Also, our favorite amigo, Johan Santana, has started wearing rosary beads as an accessory. Why, Johan? Say it ain’t so. Don’t leave us this way. We can’t survive without your sweet facial hair.

Francisco Rodriguez recorded his first save last night.

Ike Davis, Hottie Jacobs’ replacement, made his major league debut this week against the Cubs. Other than his sideburns, he’s become a fan favorite for being able to actually make contact with the ball unlike a few other players on the team. He assisted in the Mets 6-1 victory on Monday, going 2 for 4 with an RBI.

The Yankees have started their west coast trip with shocking success, taking two of three from the Oakland Athletics. Phil Hughes nearly no-hit the A’s on Wednesday night, pitching into the 8th. Eric Chavez’s lead off line drive ricocheted off of Hughes’ left arm (or glove. It was hard to see from the angle shown on the TV) and the ball rolled in front of him, where he lost track of it until that Brazilian Landing Strip Chin made it to first with an infield single. Hughes struck out a career high 10 batters in the Yankees 3-1 victory. He is now 2-0.

Brazilian Landing Strip Chin’s retirement into the DH role has been somewhat depressing, considering his former prowess at the hot corner and while we can sympathize with him, it does not excuse that…growth. Eric, please get rid of it. For us all, man. Do us the favor.

In the Yankees 4-2 loss to the A’s on Thursday, AROD initiated the Yankees’ first triple play in 42 years. However, in the top of the 6th, pitcher Dallas Braden felt that AROD was a bit naughty. After an AROD single, Cano fouled off a pitch and AROD, who was in between second and third, cut across the mound to return to first base. Apparently that was “MAJOR” because it started a screaming match between Braden and AROD…which was one of the most hilarious things we’ve ever seen during a baseball game. Braden’s reaction was so dramatic that Serena nearly peed herself from laughing so hard. According to Braden, “if he wants to run across the pitcher’s mound, tell him to go do laps in the bullpen.” Um, Braden? When you’re referring to the bull pen, are you talking about that little patch of dirt on the sidelines that they’ve relegated for that purpose? Cos’ that’s not much of a bull pen, darling. At the conclusion of the fight, Braden threw his mitt against the wall in the dugout and kicked over a stack of cups. Wow. So at the age of 26, men are allowed to behave like spoiled brats? Dude, we’re pretty sure that you should’ve outgrown that behavior at this junction in your life. For someone who’s only been in the MLB for 3 years, he sure acts like a primadonna. He must’ve received lessons from Dustin Pedroia.

Baseball Notes: On Sunday, the Mets designated Mike Jacobs (or as Lisa likes to call him, “Mike Jameson” because it sounds sexy. Like him) for assignment…meaning he got fired. This depresses us. Other than Jeff Francoeur, who are we supposed to molest now? Clearly TOWSNBN isn’t going to let us rub up against him as he will not even pose for a photograph with us. In place of Jacobs, the Mets promoted RHP Toby Stoner from Triple A-Buffalo…who is not nearly as hot as Jacobs, but whatever. Obviously Omar Minaya has zero taste in men.

Lou Piniella announced prior to Wednesday night’s game against the Mets that he’s moving the struggling Carlos Zambrano to the bullpen, saying “we felt he could do a really nice job for us there.” The Cubs’ bullpen’s combined ERA entering Wednesday’s game was 6.15 with a 1-6 record and has blown 4 of 7 save opportunities so far.

Cliff Lee’s debut in Seattle is tentatively scheduled for 4/30. He’s going to make a minor league rehab start with Triple A-Tacoma on Monday. If all goes well, he’ll be starting on normal rest against the Rangers.

We’ve already gotten emails from about voting for our favorite All Stars. This process needs to be reevaluated. First of all, the fans shouldn’t be allowed to pick anymore because it’s become a mockery. Second of all, the game is not until July and the season is only in its first month. How could you possibly make sound judgments as to who belongs on the All Star roster this early? If we’re going based on performance thus far, Mike Pelfrey is getting the NL Cy Young Award, which is just ridiculous. Okay, admittedly, that statement was an exaggeration, but you get the point. This is the kind of crap that contributes to David Ortiz starting at first for the American League instead of Justin Morneau or Mark Teixeira. Or maybe someone we haven’t even heard of yet, but really deserves to be a member of the team.
BallHype: hype it up!

No comments:

Post a Comment