Sunday, April 24, 2011

DAMN! Serena’s Got a Small Foot

Hello, a-holes. You’ll be pleased to hear that 9 of 12 people voted that Serena should send that a-hole letter to Barry Zito about his moustache because “someone needs to tell him that porn-staches are unacceptable and will not be tolerated.” For some strange reason you people thought that SERENA should be that special someone. Did it ever occur to you that maybe, just MAYBE someone close to Barry Zito (like say, a friend, family member, lover?) should be the person to break this kind of news to him? “Hey, Barry, I love you, man so don’t take this the wrong way, but that moustache makes you look like an a-hole. A creepy level 5, even. Dude, from one bro to another. Shave that sh*t.” No. Instead some creepy jack-a-loon blogger had to be the one to send him a letter. Well…you got your goddamn wishes. Behold. Evidence of your stupid and personally damaging encouragement:

Only 3 individuals had any sort of sense and voted for, “No. Are you freakin’ kidding? It’s bad enough you post this crap to your blog.” We’re guessing that this was probably Mamadukes, Roberta (Fred K’s Cancer Secretary of State), and someone else who probably just hates us. Like Uncle Pat.

We should point out at this stage that Lisa arrived at Serena’s house to blog at 2:30 this afternoon. Did we blog? No. We watched Tron: Legacy instead. The movie was okay, but more importantly Garrett Hedlund is delicious. The only problem is the fact that Disney kept ruining every opportunity for us to view his delectable body by doing something like cover him up! What the hell? If you’re going to put a man that attractive in a glow in the dark leotard accenting his “assets,” then let us get a glimpse of him nakie! But, no. It would not be so. *Sigh* So we Googled and found this:
And that, folks, is what being a TBB Super Hero is all about. Discovering Garrett Hedlund prompted us to come up with yet another asinine contest...only this time it will be real. There will be an actual attainable prize. Your picture on our blog viewed by Serena’s entire family (because Lisa’s parents do not read the blog…they don’t know how to use their internet machine). Don’t scoff as if this is some bull sh*t prize. Serena’s clan is enormous. They won’t quit reproducing.

So, what’s the contest? Submit to us your photo along with a paragraph or so as to why to you should be TBB Super Hero of the Week. Best/most creative entry or best looking man will become TBB Super Hero of the Week. The deadline for submission will be Saturday, May 21st and the winner will be announced on Sunday, May 22nd before we take off for Minneapolis. The winner’s picture will remain posted from May 22nd until blogging time on May 29th.

In brief Fred K’s Cancer news, Brad Ziegler of the Oakland A’s donated his game-used cleats for us to raffle off. Since Serena has midget feet (literally, she does) and Ziegler is over six feet tall, Lisa just HAD to compare his feet to Serena’s. Lisa found the comparison so hilarious that she took a picture of it:
Brother went one step further and made this measurement:
Now that Brother has visited, we’ve gotten even further distracted by talking about the Indiana Jones saga and why Dipsy Doodles are not sold in bigger bags. It’s 6:53 pm.

This week’s baseball note:
Justin Morneau returned to the lineup against the Indians on Saturday after missing the previous 5 games with the flu. It seems that Twins’ clubhouse is quite sickly these days what with Joe Mauer also having some sort of viral infection that’s caused bilateral leg weakness.

Finally, we wish everyone a Happy Easter and Happy Passover…and Happy Greek Easter.

7:39 pm.

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