Sunday, October 27, 2013

Offseason Planning

You're probably expecting an entire blog about how great we are...don't worry, you'll get that. Just not yet. We've got other stuff to cover first. For starters, our 2014 stadium tour. With Mamadukes' conversion from New Yorker to boring Floridian, we've decided to choose the Rays as one of our next stadiums. Serena has already been to the Trop with an ex-boyfriend several years ago and she's warned Lisa to imagine watching a game in her garage...only worse. Cos' there are no couches or bowls of chips and salsa. The question now is where else will we go? Here are the options:
  • We revisit the original plan for last season to hit Texas and Arizona
  • We modify our "Big Bang Tour" to hit Detroit, Cinci, Cleveland, AND Pittsburgh and do Pittsburgh solo next season
Here are the pros and cons:
  • If we do Texas & Arizona on top of Tampa Bay, that's FOUR stadiums off the list.
  • Four stadiums = a shit-ton of travel arranging. A shit-ton of travel arranging = a shit-ton of money we don't really have right now (and also time off from work). Which means we won't be able to buy the cowboy hats and boots that we really want.
  • If we do Pittsburgh, our travel expenses drop drastically.
  • Removing Pittsburgh from our "Big Bang Tour" makes the trip a little less epic.
While we debated the arguments on both sides, we made baked mac and cheese for football Sunday.  Funny backstory to the recipe we made today. One of Serena's fonder memories of one of her ex-boyfriends was his baked mac and cheese dish...and that's pretty much it. That's basically all he has to offer to our planet. They supposedly had an "amicable" breakup, but when she asked him for the recipe, he gave it to everyone in the office but us. Even people who didn't ask for it. We're not kidding. He also stole Mema's cheese grater when he moved out to ensure that we wouldn't make this recipe (because we're lazy and therefore, wouldn't replace the cheese grater). However, our persistence paid off. We found a co-worker willing and able to make a photocopy of his recipe for us. Which brings us to today...8 years later. We told you we were lazy. We were hoping to avoid spending $20/each at Taco Bell. We ended up eating half of the dish and passing out during Jets' halftime instead of using that time wisely and blogging. Or making a decision regarding our stadium tour. We were apparently found passed out with our empty plates and the internet machine turned on. We woke up to a picture of us sleeping in Serena's text messages. At the very least, if the internet machine was on, we had the best intentions to blog.

We're willing to listen to your opinions. Provided they're not stupid. Post your thoughts regarding our potential plans for our stadium tour for the upcoming 2014 season in the comments section for this blog post.

Now for the moment we know you've been waiting for. Our epic Halloween greatness.
Apologies for the enormous nature of this photo. Once again, Blogger is the very definition of an a-hole. We apparently can't control the formatting of our own blog posts because this forum sucks donkey dick.
Unfortunately, there were a good deal of individuals that didn't have a clue as to who we were, which makes us question the moral compass of this nation. We were called Fozzy Bear, Sexy Bear, Cop, Bounty Hunter, Pirate, and one a-hole in particular asked if we were hunters from Tennessee. Supposedly this man has a college degree and passed the bar exam, but now we're questioning whether or not he found his law degree in a Happy Meal because that was one of the dumbest statements we've ever heard. What the f*ck does a hunter from Tennessee look like and why is he familiar with this look? A bar posted a photo of us from their Halloween party on their Facebook page and he continued to stick to this idiot assessment in the comment section of the photo. Needless to say, for these heinous crimes against humanity (and us...the greatest people you will ever know), Old Man Ed is the a-hole of the week. We want to make this clear. When we say old, we mean a T-Rex once chased him out of his man cave. He was present for the second day when God said, "let there be light." He replied, "Oh, thank god." He is personally responsible for the dinosaurs not making it onto Noah's Ark because he's a life ruiner.
Despite these hiccups, we managed to score third place at the bar's costume contest last night. Two of the bartenders assured us that we deserved to win the entire contest, but we're not going to bellyache TOO much.


  1. That's cool that you're planning your tour early, as I just got my plans finalized for next season. My tour is of the minor league sort, though. I will be in the neiborhood of both Cleveland and Pittsburg, though, so we might pass each other on the highway. Detroit is a good choice, too, er, no, Detroit is never a good choice, but it would be nice to see you at a Tigers game! My trip is set for mid-June for Ohio and Penn.
    I still wonder how the f^ck you girls didn't take first place. Everyone knows that you let the Wookie win, and Serena can shoot me first anyday.

    1. The Tigers are a part of our Big Bang Tour, so they'LOL be held off for the 2015 season. :)

      Thank you for the support! We feel our costumes were robbed as well! We even had key dialogue ready to go during the night, even though Lisa's was mostly grunting Wookie-style. :)

  2. how do you spend $20 at Taco Bell?

    Texas = breast sweat.

    you could use Cleveland as a base and go to Detroit and Pittsburgh...they are both pretty drivable from Cleveland. Assuming the baseball schedules line up.

    1. It's very easy to spend $20 at Taco Bell.

      Cleveland is not an option for 2014. It's Texas or we do Pittsburgh solo as opposed to including it in our Big Bang Tour.

  3. $20 is easy for a carload of does 1 person spend that much? What is the typical haul for that amount??

    1. It usually involves unbuttoning the pants and passing out into a food coma.