Mets Opening Night 2016

April 9, 2016

You might notice that our blog post title has the word, "night" instead of "day" in it. Thanks to all of the fake Mets fans that have cropped up since last season, we were unable to acquire Mets Opening Day tickets. Instead, we had to settle for Opening Night. Initially, we thought we outsmarted the Mets. Opening Night was STAR WARS NIGHT, the greatest night in all of baseball. However, as per usual, the baseball gods laughed in our general direction. Opening Day was a beautiful, warm and sunny day. Opening Night was freezing, wet, and depressing. In fact, the weather was so miserable, the Star Wars characters didn't factor into the game's festivities as much as usual. Which is horse shit. The Mets won Opening Day and lost Opening Night. So, thanks for that, Mets. You're awesome.

We're getting ahead of ourselves. Let's start from the beginning.

We each wore two pairs of pants (which made maneuvering difficult), two pairs of socks, and several layers of sweatshirt-type materials. Both of us received the following advice from two totally different people: "Why don't you just wear a coat?" To which we replied, "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Who wears a coat to a baseball game?" The men in question replied back, "Actually, you're pretty stupid." Well...fine.

Just as we entered the stadium and stepped onto the escalator, a bomb went off. Okay. Maybe not a bomb. But something definitely went off because it was loud, there was smoke, and a piece of Citi Field fell to the earth. We feared for our lives. We still don't know what it was. We were told to move it along. Our panic remained until we found the next distraction: Lisa's next lease.

It's possible that we need to be medicated for ADD. Before heading to our seats, we stopped off at the team shop because Lisa HAD to buy a Mrs. Met doll for her mascot collection. It was a moral imperative.

Despite having quality seats, you'd think we'd be surrounded by quality people.

 

We were not. In front of us sat a loud, obnoxious man. He ate peanuts. That in itself isn't offensive. The woman in front of him was supposedly "deathly allergic" to peanuts. She asked him to stop eating them, which is ridiculous. It's not like he was throwing the peanuts at her. He was just eating them. And shouting obscene things at the left fielder. She was in a public space, specifically at a baseball game, and people are going to eat whatever the hell they want. You can't control that. It's like asking people not to eat popcorn at the movie theater. She made a big enough stink that security relocated her and her husband closer to the Mets' dugout. Instead of just letting things be, however, our peanut eater couldn't stop. He informed the entire section (and the left fielder) of the incident and concluded that, "she did this intentionally so that she could get better seats."

The Mets now have a specific hashtag that can potentially get your photo posted to the jumbotron (#nikonmets). We followed the instructions, assuming that we wouldn't get on the board because we never do, BUT our picture was actually shared! Unfortunately, we were so apathetic about the entire situation that it took us a moment to realize that we were even up there (the people sitting behind us pointed it out to us) and then Lisa's gloves prevented her from swiping her smart phone in order to photograph it. Fame fail.

A little something new for the top of the 5th at Citi Field. Ford sponsors some kind of car race in the top of the inning now. We're not sure the purpose of this race, but that didn't stop us from filming it. For you, of course. We're selfless reporters. The FDNY car won by a long shot. It was kind of embarrassing. NYPD should be ashamed.

After the race, we went in search of food. Our fancy seats allowed us access to the Promenade, Foxwoods, and Acela Clubs. The Acela Club didn't seating after the 4th, so we blew that taco stand. Sidebar: that's bullshit. We ended up at the Foxwoods Club, where we ordered specialty grilled cheese sandwiches. The sandwiches had kale pesto, three types of cheeses, broccoli rabe, and brisket between two slices of thick, sourdough bread served on a bed of potato chips. The sandwiches were so filling that we didn't even get to eat the chips.

 

The bill came to roughly $30 for both of the sandwiches and two water bottles. As we stuffed our faces, one of Serena's co-workers contacted her on Facebook. Not only was he at the game with us, but it turned out that he was sitting five tables over from us. We met up with him and his friend with enough time to watch the Mets lose and to find seats to sit in while we watched the post-game fireworks display. Strangely enough, it opened up with Adele's "Hello."

 

 

Thanks for further depressing us, guys.

Here's a video we filmed in the parking lot.

Also, this guy:

It's clearly not a lease.