Friday, February 13, 2009

Today's Rant

We realize that our poll has 7 more days until it closes, but we feel that it's important for us to make a few comments now. For those of you who voted for our charming faces on t-shirts (do we smell merchandise potential?), we greatly appreciate your support. It's a big strange, but then again, we're not exactly normal. We stalk mascots. Who are we to judge?
For the few of you who actually voted that it's acceptable to wear a David Wright shirt to a game where the Mets are not playing, we really need an explanation. Why is this acceptable? David Wright is not in the building (probably because we're at the game and he doesn't want to be anywhere near us) and the Mets are not in the vicinity! We're not saying that if you're attending a Rays/Orioles game in Tampa, you need to go out and purchase a Rays or Orioles shirt. We're broke. We would never advocate spending foolish money. However, there are a few alternatives to the David Wright shirt. You could wear the colors of the team you'd like to cheer for (in our example, it would the colors of the Orioles or the Rays...not the Mets-or any other team for that matter). Another option would be if you didn't want to root for the Rays or the Orioles, but really just wanted to check out a game while in the Tampa area. In this case, you could wear normal clothes. Normal clothes being articles of clothing that you would wear on a daily basis without advertising any particular team. We'd also like to point out that normal clothes do not fall under the category of Alyssa Milano's clothing line. A third option is for those who may be sitting in a rain delay. Ponchos are perfect. They may be ugly, but they are functional and cover your entire outfit. Just be careful as to not let it get caught on your seat. You could choke and die. Actually, sombreros work too. Maybe not in a rain delay, but definitely to block the sun. Skin cancer is a terrible thing. If, after reviewing these options, you do not find anything that suits your fancy and still feel the need to wear that David Wright shirt to a Ray/Orioles game (or a Chipper Jones, Manny Ramirez, Derek Jeter, Brad Ziegler shirt for that matter), please be prepared for us to find you, photograph you, and post your picture on this blog with a big fat "Wanted for Crimes Against Baseball's High Fashion" label.

That being said...for those of you who voted for "Yes, because we love David Wright..." We're a bit confused. Did you really only answer yes because you loved David Wright? Lisa loves him too, but as per the crazy paragraph that precedes this one, she knows better than to wear a DW shirt to a Rays/Orioles game. How would you have voted if we had used Bartolo Colon as an example?

On to more pressing items for the day: We have finally begun official planning for our adventure to Chicago! Tickets to the White Sox have been purchased. The Cubs go on sale next week. We will be sporting White Sox/Cubs colors at these games. Lisa plans on leaving her David Wright shirt home that week. The hotel has been booked (not paid for, but booked). We'll give you more details on the hotel after the trip. We'd hate to attract angry fans (for our constant jabs to David Wright) to this hotel while we're there. We don't want to be stoned (and when we say stoned, we mean literally, people pelting us with stones) during our vacation. Feel free to storm the hotel once we leave. Flights will be booked in March. We're not going to share that information either. You people could hate us so much that you'd try to crash our plane. Flying is scary enough. We might not be lucky enough to have a pilot who can land safely in the Hudson River. Erin and her friend, Matt will be meeting us from LA. You'll finally get to see pictures of people pther than us.

To those we may have offended today, just remember: David Wright hasn't been avoiding you for years. He's been avoiding us. Even our digs at David Wright are meant to be taken humoursly. So...take it easy! It's all in good fun.

For now we will leave you with these parting words, written by the genius poet, Right Said Fred: "I am too sexy for my shirt, my David Wright shirt, so sexy it hurts."

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