You might be wondering what in the hell we were talking about when we referenced “The Wright Stache” a few weeks ago. The Wright Stache is a website that might surpass us in terms of insanity and ridiculousness…which of course means that it brings us utter joy. Basically the entire concept of this site is to get David Wright to grow a mustache because it will guarantee a Championship for the Mets because “the mustache has mojo.” Oh, yes. That is a direct quote from the website. We kid you not. They’ve even gone so far as to create a video to inspire the mustache phenomenon. It’s literally the most magical video we’ve ever seen. Literally. We do not exaggerate. It’s more magical than all of the Harry Potter films and books combined. Yes. THAT magical.
Thanks to The Wright Stache, we felt obligated to do a little research of our own. Do the creators of The Wright Stache have something here? Do mustached lips dominate the Championship pool? We went to Google for answers. First, we looked up the list of Championship baseball teams since 1975 (because we’re lazy and didn’t feel like going all the way back to the beginning). Then…we counted mustaches/beards and compared the total to the number of mustaches/beards of the losing team.
We know what you’re thinking. “Wow, you really looked up the team photos of the World Series opponents for the last 35 years??? That must’ve taken you forever!!” It did…which is why we stopped that strategy pretty quickly. Instead, we chose team photos randomly from each decade. Unfortunately, there were times when an actual team photo wasn’t feasible (turns out that Google Images ISN’T infallible after all) and we had to improvise.
We begin in 1977 with the New York Yankees who defeated the Los Angeles Dodgers literally and in mustache count. In the team photos, the champions showed 13 mustaches while the Dodgers only had 7.
Note: Our statistics might be slightly skewed as we were forced to count hair in several blurry old photos. It is entirely possible that on some occasions, we counted an upper lip shadow as a mustache (though we ASSURE you that this was not the case with the Pirates. They legitimately had 20 mustaches).
The A’s have agreed to a 1 year/$1.4 million contract with the cute smarty pants, Craig Breslow, avoiding arbitration.
According to Brian Cashman, if Derek Jeter doesn’t last at short stop for his entire 4-year contract (or beyond?), he’d be best suited for centerfield. Jeter’s currently 36 years old, which puts him at 40 by the end of his contract. Short stop requires a lot of range and it’s understandable to plan for a decline in ability as Jeter ages. But centerfield? The outfield position that requires the most range? Does that make sense? Well, apparently Cashman likes his “corners” (infield and outfield) “to have power,” which is why he’d choose to shift Jeter to center as opposed to right or left. However, regardless of this kind of talk, Cashman assured us that “Jeter’s our shortstop, period.”
Rays’ outfielder Rocco Baldelli has retired and accepted a position with the team as a “special assistant.” Pardon us, but that title sounds a little dirty, dirty. Sorry…we’ll return to the story at hand. Baldelli has spent 6 of his 7 major league seasons with the Rays and in his new role he’ll be involved in scouting and player development. Baldelli had been diagnosed in 2008 with having a mitochondrial disorder which causes muscle fatigue. This condition combined with a variety of injuries caused him to miss all or parts of 4 seasons. In 519 career games played with Tampa Bay and Boston, Baldelli hit .278, 60 home runs, and 262 RBI’s.