Saturday, December 10, 2011

We Don’t Handle Change Well

Now that we’ve announced our plans for our 2012 stadium tour, we asked you to tell us which trip you were most excited to read about. Of 5 votes, 3 of you chose Atlanta and 2 of you chose Toronto. No one seems to care about DC.

Now…on to the good stuff. So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, good night, Jose Reyes! The self-absorbed shortstop signed a 6-year contract earlier this week with the Miami Marlins worth $106 million. According to King A-hole, uh, we mean, Reyes, he wanted to remain in New York, however “they didn’t make a real offer. So that means they don’t want me there.” The Mets offered a deal that is believed to have been worth 5 years and $80 million. Sorry, Reyes. This wasn’t about staying in New York. You wanted the money. Or dinero, if that helps you understand better. For the first time in years, the Mets made a good business decision. Reyes will probably play up to his potential during his first season just to show the Marlins that he wasn’t a mistake. In the following seasons, he’ll resort back to the laziness and I-Don’t-Give-a-F*ck attitude that he displayed in New York the last time he signed a big contract. Then in his 6th and final year, he’ll play his so-called heart out and some other team will be stupid enough and excited enough to shoot their load and give him more money. Thank you, Mets for doing the right thing.

Another addition to the Marlins is Mark Buehrle, who might be leaving The Windy City, but isn’t going for a complete change. Buehrle will be reunited with manager Ozzie Guillen in Miami. Tired of waiting for Albert Pujols to make a decision, the Marlins pulled their offer and turned their sights on pitching. Hence, the addition of Buehrle. Buehrle’s contract includes a 4 years and $191 million. Hopefully, spending money like it’s going out of style pays off for the Marlins because paying for a new stadium and new roster costs a pretty penny and if this endeavor fails miserably, it’s just gonna get awkward and ugly.

David Ortiz will be returning to the Red Sox as their designated hitter. On Wednesday, Ortiz accepted salary arbitration which binds him to the team for at least another year. They’ll continue to work toward a multi-year contract potentially until February, but for now, Big Papi is at least returning for the 2012 season.

On Thursday, MAJOR changes went down. The Marlins may have stopped sweet talking Pujols in order to get him into the sack, but the Angels stepped right in and swept him off his feet! Pujols signed a 10-year, $254 million contract, making him the second highest paid baseball player in history and the third player to break the $200 million barrier. The Angels also signed pitcher CJ Wilson (who happens to be pretty darn cute) for a deal reportedly worth 5 years and $77.5 million.

The Diamondbacks dealt one of their top pitching prospects to the A’s in exchange for pitchers Trevor Cahill and Craig Breslow. Clearly, the A’s have decided to roll over and play dead this season, conceding the AL West to the Angels and hoping for a brighter future in the seasons to come.

What have the Yankees and Mets done? Absolutely nothing. Hooray!

Thanks in part to the number of changes that went down this week, it’s been pretty stressful for us. You can’t just dump all of this on us without any sort of preparation. You have to ease us into change! Ball players are so selfish sometimes.


  1. Lisa!!!!! Serena!!!! How you doin!!!!

    Well, its been quite a week out at the old ball yards with dollar bills whizzing around like hookers at a political convention. And its always nice to check in with you two to make sure you get in your weekly swipe at Reyes. I am kinda proud of you two, for keeping it real.

    Don't know about you, but I am kinda wondering if Marlins GM was visited by the Ghost of World Series Past, George Steinbrenner, but we are not talking about Reggie Jackson here. And just how is a team that can't sell out a World Series game gonna manage to fill that stadium, day in and day out to support the kinda salaries they are suddenly shelling out.

    I did kinda want to see them reel in Puljos, because when it starts to go bad down there, its gonna be UG-leeeeee., and Alberto would at least make the slide a bit more interesting to watch. But honestly, the A-league is the place for Albert if he's gonna sign a 10 year deal, don't ya think?

    One more thing . . . are the Marlins new unis kind of . . . oh, what's the word . . . . . Hideous?

    It is refreshing to see the Red Sox, Yankees and Phillies take on a new role of fiscal conservatives, and let the kiddies all play in the big pool this year.

  2. Hey Jim,
    All is well on the TBB forefront. You can always count on us to keep real !!!The Marlins must have been saving all those pennies for like 10 years now . Guess it was due to cash out. We think it's disappointing that Albert decided not to stay with the Cardinals but Money talks and we know what walks. Back to the Marlins and those pastel colored uniforms . They seem to be channeling Miami Vice. Maybe Crockett designed those uniforms. Hopefully the "Big Boys" will get in on the action and start wheeling and dealing . It's no fun watching other people spend money! Always a pleasure chatting with you Jim :)