Sunday, January 1, 2012

Welcome to 2012

Last week, in addition to wishing you a happy holiday, we asked you what reason a certain TBB fan that shall remain nameless might be obsessed with Serena’s arms. 1 person thinks it’s because her arms are 20 inch pythons so who wouldn’t be obsessed? Okay, we’ll have you know that they’re NOT 20 inches. Sheesh. 4 individuals explained it simply as, “he’s a Phillies fan. Why do Phillies fans do half the things that they do?” 1 other person thinks that he is jealous of her arms and desperately wishes that Serena would train him like she trains Lisa every Sunday morning. Strangely enough, no one chose the option, “he is afraid of her.” Hm.

The A’s continue to astound us with their butchering techniques. They sent Ryan Sweeney and two-time All Star Andrew Bailey to the Red Sox for another outfielder and 2 prospects. At this point, it’s safe to call the A’s the New York Islanders of baseball. Thank you for giving up on all hope, Oakland. Perhaps you’ll be joining the Islanders in Oklahoma in a few years.

The St. Louis Cardinals, as we all know, have lost Albert Pujols. Who is the big name that they replace him with? A hairy, dark mole. We mean, Carlos Beltran. May he rot in hell the day that he dies. Beltran and the Cardinals apparently agreed to the 2-year deal worth $26 million late last week. Beltran is getting closer and closer to us with each team move he makes. We were thankful when he left for San Francisco. The city’s across the country and we’ve already been to AT&T Park. Of course, we felt it would’ve been better if he relocated to Japan. Now he’s in the middle of the country. His proximity is becoming uncomfortable. Plus, we haven’t done our Kansas City/St. Louis tour yet. We’d been contemplating it for 2013. Now this plan may have to change.

Being it’s that time of year again where we’re both bored and antsy for the baseball season to get started, Serena tested our Facebook fans with a little trivia quiz. Identify the baseball-related movie that this quote came from (bonus points for identifying the individual who said it): “Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair. When this guy sneezes, he looks like a party favor.” The first person to answer this correctly was TBB fan Daniel Perez. As a prize, Serena offered him TBB Super Hero of the Week honors. Since he hasn’t gotten back to us with a photo as of yet, Serena decided to go with someone she’s particularly fond of: Osi Umenyiora.

Lastly, we hope everyone had a fabulous and safe New Year! We’ll return to you with a proper TBB blog next Sunday for our first post of 2012.


  1. Damn . . . you take one stinking little week off to spend quality time with the family, and you miss your 15 minutes of fame.

    Okay, being the subject of a TBB question of the week may not actually qualify as fame . . . or even 15 minutes for that matter. But still I am hugely embarrassed that I was not around to give the unequivocal answer to the question Why is a certain TBB fan so obsessed with Serena's arms.

    Okay, first . . .its not so much her arms as her whole persona. Okay scratch that . . . its really her whole mystic. Her motivations, her je ne sais quoi.

    No scratch that too . . . its that certain something when she looks into a camera, and those instinctive reactions take hold and her mouth and lips and TONGUE to this strangely alluring snake dance . . .

    Nah, who am I kidding, its the girls, definitely the boobs.

    Phillies fan or not, anyone should understand THAT.

    But I do have to say, that after weeks and weeks of pouring over your weekly words of wisdom, I find the whole idea of being so taken by only one of you ladies physical attributes really a sad commentary on me. I have mentioned other really nice physical traits that you both possess. Okay, maybe I did mention Serena's arms a couple times, but I've also brought up her smile.

    But I am not some jack wad that forgets there are two very attractive Babes here. I've been quite taken by Lisa's physical stature as well. well, not her STATURE so much, she is kinda a munchkin, but just because I don't mention HER guns and HER girls, doesn't mean I'm not looking'. Plus she has that whole Latina thing goin' on :^)

    Anyway, let me shed some light on the question;

    I don't love snakes, so the 20 inch python thing is a non starter.

    Yes, I AM a Phillies fan, and if you understood more than half of what I did, then I would have you RIGHT where I wanted you. Plus if I have to explain it to you . . . what's the point, you know?

    Wait, Serena TRAINS Lisa??? Hmmmm, I might actually like suma that action.

    And finally, who could be afraid of Serena, she looks soooo cuddly . . . except when startled by Lisa's car in the parking lot . . . nooooo, NOT a good look, wayyyyyy scary.

    Okay, yes I know Lisa is of a proud Italian heritage, and that is every bit as interesting. And yes, for the record, she has a great rack, its just seems the mascots are more into Serena's, go figure.

    Anyway, I want to wish you both a very Happy New Year, and a long , long baseball season.

  2. You may be the first individual to refer to Serena as "cuddly." It's interesting that you described Lisa's stature as "munchkin." Are you aware that while Lisa is short, Serena is also pretty short. She's only taller than Lisa by an inch, but we assure you that that mere inch doesn't put Serena in the height bracket considered "average" or "tall" for women. She's still pretty damn short. In fact,quite often, she refers to herself as "travel size for your convenience." So what's the moral of the story, kids? The TBB are two very short munchkins. :)

    This poll was all in good fun. Try not to over-analyze what you may have said or done to become the target of our humor. It's not worth your time. :)

  3. And I take it in the spirit it was meant, trust me. And yes I am aware both of you are diminutive in the whole vertical aspect.

    And come on . . . Serena NOT cuddly? I guess its only when she insists on taking off her pants to go to bed. What does that mean, exactly.

  4. Are you asking what does it mean when she insists on taking off her pants? It's quite simple. She doesn't like sleeping with pants on. For starters, it gets too warm and she doesn't like feeling over-heated. Secondly, the pants ride up on the leg and get all twisted and she doesn't like that either. No pants is definitely the way to go when in bed.