Briefly touching upon a few baseball notes from around the league, what the hell is up with Barry Zito? He gets married, decides to rock a comb-over like some creepy pedophile, and now suddenly he’s throwing complete game shut outs?? Where the hell have you been, Barry? Did you wake up one morning and say to yourself, “holy sh*t, I’m getting paid a crap ton of money not to do anything! No wonder people hate me. I should probably try pitching again.” Well, if this isn’t a fluke, welcome back. Now fix your goddamn hair. On the other hand, another Bay Area pitcher is not faring as well. The Giants received the news that closer Brian Wilson may need season-ending Tommy John surgery.
The Red Sox put Jacoby Ellsbury on the 15-day DL for a shoulder injury he suffered on Friday. Bad news for Lisa’s Asstastic Bunch (because as you know, I could really give a crap about the well being of the Red Sox).
That’s all for now, folks. I’ll be posting about Yankees Opening Day later. Like after a nap. Cos’ I’m tired. And this took a lot out of me.