This was an eventful weekend for the TBB. For starters, Lisa has bronchitis. Second of all, Lisa's birthday is tomorrow (be sure to post Happy Birthday wishes to our Facebook wall or else suffer her wrath!). Third of all, we ran in the Runyon 5K at Yankees Stadium today like champions. Fourth of all, Tuesday is Tim Lincecum Appreciation Day. Do you feel that tingling in your balls? That excitment for terrible photo shopping and awesome fun facts about our one and only Timmy? Finally, to celebrate Lisa's birthday and send Chipper Jones one last farewell from the TBB, we had a Mets game to attend on Saturday evening. This is the part of our weekend that we're going to focus on today (don't worry...we'll get to the other stuff in the upcoming weeks), but first we need to talk about our poll results from last week. Having a bit of fun with the fact that the Yankees Facebook page had gotten hacked, we asked you which MLB player's Facebook account the TBB should break into and mess with. 2 of you voted for TOWSNBN and the following status: "Going to the 98 Degrees concert with my certifiable crazy girlfriend, Lisa, where I will serenade her with I Do Cherish You." 2 others voted for Alex Rodriguez and the following status: "Reading such a hard book! I wonder how Green Eggs and Ham will end!" Just a little background information on this joke: Serena is convinced that this is the reading level that Alex Rodriguez is at. Beautiful to look at, painful to listen to. For some bizarre reason, no one chose Barry Zito and "Just did yoga! Off to get my hair did comb-over style, then call Tom Seleck on moustache advice, and then finally write back to that girl, Serena. Busy day ahead!" No one voted for David Ortiz either. His status would've been "Hope they choose me for a season of Dancing with the Stars. I think I would do a mean fox trot and look hot in spandex." Was it the spandex that turned you off?
Okay, time to discuss the Mets game. Since it was Lisa's birthday, Serena had a little surprise in store for Lisa AND we had an additional sidekick with us: Miss Sylvia, The Fit Fem. We started things off by having lunch at McFadden's. We got there so early (4:00) that the place was nearly empty. We were seated immediately and our orders were taken shortly after. Meanwhile, behind the scenes, Serena had scored a major favor from Danny Ryan to reach out to his "contacts" and arrange for Lisa to be on the field for batting practice. Mets batting practice began at 5:00. Hence, the early lunch. Sylvia was aware of all of this. Lisa was not. So when the gap-toothed idiot of a waiter forgot to order Lisa's pulled pork sandwich, making us wait for our lukewarm food until 5:05, Lisa didn't know why Serena and Sylvia were so agitated. Delaying food delivery to starving animals is a nuisance, yes, but is it bad enough to warrant Serena's threat to stab him with a butter knife? Probably not. After we inhaled our food (which is mediocre, so if you're in town, just check out the bar scene. Don't bother with food), we speed walked to the Jackie Robinson Rotunda (on the other side of Citi Field, mind you) to meet Bill, a supervisor who is awesome, to be escorted onto the field (Lisa was still oblivious at this point). When Bill met us at the top of the escalator, he informed us that the Mets' batting practice was now over, but that we could see the Braves. It was at this time that Lisa understood the ramifications of that f*ckass waiter's ineptitude. As Bill escorted us to parts of Citi Field that we should never be allowed to see because we can't be trusted, Lisa whispered, "That waiter made me miss David Wright, didn't he?" Through gritted teeth, Serena replied, "Yes, Lisa. That was the plan. Now you get Chipper Jones." The vein in Lisa's forehead throbbed. TOWSNBN, just know that it all could've ended right here. Thank you, McFadden's. Thank you.
Lisa's attitude changed as soon as Bill opened the door that led to sunlight, rich people's seats, and the motherload: the area behind home plate.
video of Bones wishing her a happy birthday. He also tossed us all baseballs, a special one going to Lisa.