Sunday, January 5, 2014

New Year's Resolutions...& This Year, We Mean It

Let's call a spade a spade. Last year, we made a lot of promises to you and to be honest, we forgot about 80% of them. It's by pure coincidence alone that we managed to accomplish any of them at all. This year we plan on printing this blog post off and carrying it around with us like grocery list so that we can cross off tasks as we complete them.

In order for you to truly understand how we've failed you, let's relive the resolutions from last year that we didn't complete:
1. Cover a World Series game in person even if the Mets or Yankees aren't in the playoffs. Somehow, we'll figure it out.
2. Covering the remaining playoff games from the bar. Literally. As in we'll bring the internet machine to a bar, hack the bar's WiFi (side note: the password is quite often the bar's phone number), and cover the games. In addition to the blog post, we'll also post commentary to Twatter. (@TravelingBBabes). Follow us. Do it.
3. Get TOWSNBN to take a picture with Lisa.
4. Visit and blog about our visit to the Baseball Hall of Fame.
5. Attend Star Wars Night.
6. Score 200 followers on Facebook. We're currently at 185. - What is happening here that you can't get your friends to like us???
7. Spy a professional player in plain clothes. We stress professional. You and your beer bully running around a baseball field in dirty sweatpants that you haven't washed in months doesn't count as a baseball player.
8. It may not be fiscally possible for us to attend more Yankees and Mets games, but we will do everything in our power to cover baseball more actively, whether that means talking to bar patrons/baseball fans during games or stalking tailgate parties. - Considering this is a baseball blog, it's pretty shameful that this needs to be on the list in the first place.
9. Establish a weblog. - Honestly, we're not even sure why we came up with this because we don't even know what a weblog is, but this year, we'll strive to find out what a weblog is and how to make one.
10. Serena will finally get a job with the Yankees even if that means she's responsible for cleaning all of Derek Jeter's 4 million pairs of shoes that reside in his locker.
11. Get on the jumbotron together at any stadium.
12. Be recognized at a game for being the world renown Traveling Baseball Babes.
13. TBB World Domination.

Here are the few successful resolutions:
1. "Post more video." If you follow us on Facebook, Twatter, and/or Instagram, you may have noticed that we've been better about this. We've even posted more video clips to the blog itself. In 2014, we vow to continue this trend since you seem to like it so much.
2. "Win a Halloween Costume Contest." Boom. Done.
3. "Dive deeper into the mystery surrounding the Subway Series. Why do Yankees and Mets fans hate each other so much?" We may not have found anything conclusive, but we did conduct the investigation.
4. "We are going to make every effort to be more attractive for you. Again, we stress try. We can't promise you anything since we don't have the money to afford plastic surgery, but we will make every effort to clean up nice. As nice as we possibly can." Hopefully, if you followed us on Instagram or Twatter, you saw our classy photos from New Year's Eve. And if you don't follow us, suck and you're missing out. So go take a ride on our suck sticks.
5. "Strive to cover the All Star Game at Citi Field. If not the game or Home Run Derby, we'll strive to cover the Fan Fest activities." Done and done. Apples are terrible. And so is running.
6. "Bring Auntiedukes to her first Mets game, which we'd been promising since 2011." Check.
7. "Go to Billy's by Yankee Stadium for GuidoFest so that Lisa can finally meet the Guido of her dreams." Yes, we went to Billy's, but for some reason, the Guidos were not really out and the ones that were had girlfriends already.

So, this year, we vow to really focus on all of those tasks we forgot about last year, plus these new ones:
1. Get rid of Kitty aka: the one called "Max."
2. Lisa finally watches all of the Star Wars movies. Even the bad ones staring Natalie Portman (the acting equivalent to a cardboard box).
3. Get one professional baseball player to follow us (whether it be on the blog, Facebook, Twatter, Instagram, or Google+).
4. Attend Opening Day together.
5. Post a Q&A. Something about us that you're curious to know? We'll give you a period of time where you can email/message/post/etc. anything you want to know about Lisa, Serena, or both of us and we will dedicate an entire blog post to your questions. Please no requests for photos of us naked or in our knickers. Don't be creepy.
6. Win the "Shiva Bowl" in our fantasy leagues. Bonus points for the other TBB making it into the playoffs as well.
7. Serena will get a good night's sleep. And by a good night's sleep, we mean the recommended 7-8 hours as opposed to her usual 2-4 hours.
8. Serena will have a penetration partner and Lisa will have a baby daddy. Not the same man (which shouldn't be too difficult seeing as how we're attracted to totally different men).

At the start of 2015, we will revisit this list. Hopefully, we will at least have accomplished #8 on the "new resolutions" list. That's the only one we really care about anyway.


  1. Happy new years ladies:-)! Hope you both complete your list this year!!<3

  2. does coming in 3rd count as winning? :P

    maybe try bribing Lisa with booze and Taco Bell to gewt her to watch the Star Wars movies...have to take a drink every time someone says "Force". lol

    1. No, no. Coming in third does not count!!!

      And there is no need to bribe Lisa to watch Star Wars. It's epic fun for all ages and kinds!!!

  3. I don't know if JarJar Blinks qualifies as epic fun!

    early warning!! I think I'll be making it to see the Mets play @ Citifield finally...Nolan Ryan bobblehead game! one of my cousins has a daughter getting married the day before...could be out on LI.