Sunday, April 27, 2014

Pine Tar for Everyone

Let's preface this blog post with the fact that this is not the topic we'd originally planned on discussing. This topic is your fault. We had plans for epicness. For the Titanic of blog posts. The Catching Fire of blog posts. Because literally, there was going to be fire. However, you chose not to participate. All you had to do was mail us your unwanted jerseys and t-shirts of players that disappointed you. But, no. Nothing. You mean to tell us that none of you Mets fans made the mistake of purchasing a Kaz Matsui jersey? No Yankees fans went out and bought a Randy Johnson jersey? Giants fans, a Barry Zito? Marlins fans, a Reyes? Stop lying. We've all made mistakes with our jersey/t-shirt purchases. It's nothing to be ashamed about. The point of this paragraph, as useless as it may seem, is that you suck a bag of donkey d*cks. That is all.

Now we are forced to talk about another topic that has been beaten like a dead horse. The Pine Tar Incident. On Wednesday night, Michael Pineda was ejected from the game in the second inning and has been suspended for 10 games for "possessing a foreign substance (aka: pine tar)." Initially, both of us were disappointed in him. "C'mon, what's wrong with you? Why are you slapping illegal shit onto the ball during a game? You know it's against the rules." But then, we started to hear murmurs. Murmurs from other players, both retired and active. Whispers of pine tar, not only being rampantly used throughout the league, but being openly accepted.

David Cone and Al Leiter, both players that once pitched for the Mets and Yankees, admitted on air while in the YES broadcast booth, that they kept pine tar on their belts on cold nights to help them get a better grip on the ball. What flabbergasted Cone and Leiter was not that Pineda used pine tar (keep in mind, pine tar is still "against the rules"), but that he was so "blatant" about using it.  This seems to be the common assessment of the situation around the league. Both Dustin Pedroia and Chris Capuano admitted to using pine tar. David Ortiz has been quoted as saying, "everybody uses pine tar. It's not a big deal." However, Capuano also said, "I just think you don't want to flaunt it." Okay, but pine tar is still a foreign substance and according to the official rules of the MLB:
The pitcher shall not -- 
(4) apply a foreign substance of any kind to the ball...

Sooooo, what these players are essentially saying is that it's okay to break the rules as long as you're not being obvious about it. Okay. Cocaine is an illegal substance, right? However, if we all go to a party and snort cocaine together, it's cool as long as we don't talk about it or do it in public. Is that what we're basically saying here? If Pineda had concealed the pine tar, it's no big deal? The issue is not that he used it, but that he was being open and honest about being a rule breaker.

No one else sees this as a problem? Is it just us?

Oh, and PS? This is just additional proof that Red Sox fans are the biggest a-holes in the MLB. Thank you and have a nice day.

PPS - You all still suck. Except for Michael David. He's hope.

PPPS - We just broke the Guinness World Record for quickest blog written ever by the TBB


  1. I remember Kenny Rogers pitching in the '06 WS with 'dirt' on the ball. Just don't make it obvious, I guess. I'll let my kids know that can cheat on their next text, but just don't get effen caught.
    I sent you girls a 'thank you' e-mail, let me know if you got it.

  2. thought the tossed ball video was amusing- that kid was wearing a Yankees hat at Fenway and sitting in the front row near the dugout! Can't say I feel bad for him not getting a ball from some Red Sox player.

    1. Really?? Oh Randy we're disappointed in you. It's a child!!

  3. something tells me you guys let out a small haha but that is so wrong! Like in Dumb & Dumber when the blind kid is petting the dead bird. We're all friends's ok. I don't judge!

    Maybe that kid already had a pile of baseballs sitting there? Or that Boston Weak guy flipped him the ball when he left...I would never take a ball from a kid myself. I promise if I catch a foul ball at the Mets game this Saturday I'll give it to the nearest little kid even if they have Phillies gear on...well, if they do they better not act like an a-hole.