Since you're not getting a blog next weekend, we decided that it would be best if we posted SOMETHING this week for you to salivate over. Thanksgiving is a good time to reflect on the things that you're thankful for and that's what we'll talk about this week.
1. We are so thankful that the Mets made it to the World Series.
2. We are very, very thankful that Lisa survived the post season.
3. We are thankful that David Ortiz is retiring and that after this season, we won't have to see his fat face ever again.
4. Serena is above and beyond thankful that the new Star Wars movie is coming out in just a few short weeks.
5. We are thankful for Instagram for without Instagram, we would not have found the glory that is The Rock (@therock), Steve Weatherford (@weatherford5), and Steve Weatherford's daughter, Rara (@rarasplayhouse). In fact, we are so thankful for the Weatherford's family Instagram accounts that when we're feeling sad, we go directly there so that we can watch videos that will make us laugh our asses off.
6. We are thankful for David Beckham. He may be People's 2015 Sexiest Man Alive, but to us, he is the sexiest man alive every damn day of every damn year.
7. We are thankful that they're finally building a Chipotle and Taco Bell around the corner from Serena's apartment. Our prayers have been answered.
8. We are thankful for Ben Verlander, Justin Verlander's younger, more attractive brother. When the hell is he getting his chance in The Show? Good grief. Justin, move over. You can have Kate.
9. We are so thankful that we only have seven more stadiums to go. After that, it's just leisurely spring training ballparks and locales that simply sound interesting to us...like Casablanca, Moscow, and Graceland.
10. The following Disney princes: Flynn Rider, Prince Eric, and the Asian from Mulan. If Jess were here, she'd insist that we give a shout out to Prince Adam/Beast.
Just a few things that we're not totally appreciative of:
1. Fat baseball players (to be discussed in further detail in a later blog post).
2. The Mets losing the World Series and shattering our parade dreams.
3. Bald roommates that use all of your shit and don't bother cleaning up after themselves.
4. People who divulge their Christmas gifts for you instead of just waiting until Christmas for you to discover it yourself.
5. Fugly sluts that can't be trusted.
6. People who put up their Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving.
7. Pig Birds. The latest trend in perverts.
8. The Mets denying Lisa access to purchasing Opening Day tickets after specifically sending her a postcard to "Buy now with promo code: NLCHAMPS."
9. The Lionel Richie "Hello" video. What a creeper/pig bird.
10. The way the New York Giants have been playing. The Mets have already played with our heart strings enough this 2015. Do the Giants really have to continue the onslaught of heart burn and terror?