Sunday, August 7, 2016

Star Wars Night at Yankee Stadium 8-5-16

Well, this glorious post will probably be trumped by everyone talking about Alex Rodriguez's final game, but we had an epic free giveaway and a photo taken with Chewbacca and these are things that are important and need to be discussed! Also, we went off our diet that we'd only been on for three days. That too needs to be discussed because it was worth every calorie.

We shall start from the beginning. While watching a Yankees' game, Serena overheard Michael Kay mention that the Yankees would be hosting their first Star Wars Night on August 5th. Before Michael Kay even finished his promotion of the game, Serena had purchased two tickets. She hadn't checked the date of the game against her calendar. She didn't know what day of the week it was. She didn't even know if she had anyone to go with. She just knew she needed to be present at this game. Once the tickets were purchased, the most vital piece of information about the game was revealed: the free giveaway would be an R2D2 winter hat. Holy sh*t snacks. Best day ever. Obviously, the first person she texted was Lisa:
Serena: What are you doing on August 5th?
Lisa: I'm free. Why?
Serena: Want to go to Star Wars Night at Yankee Stadium?
Lisa: Hmmm...
Serena: The free giveaway is an R2D2 pom pom hat.
Lisa: I NEED that hat!

It was settled.

Let's fast forward to Friday. We didn't exactly get on the road at the time we would've liked and the traffic was abysmal. We arrived just in time to receive one of the last R2D2 hats (thank GOD because if we didn't, we probably would've gone ape sh*t) and by the time we ran upstairs to where the Chewbacca photo line was, they weren't allowing anyone else on line. We also apparently missed a bunch of storm troopers, Darth Vader, and Boba Fett. Dejected, we turned to leave and head down to the food court in order to eat our feelings. Then Lisa overheard the woman say to a family, "he'll be back for more pictures 45 minutes after the first pitch." Energy renewed, we practically skipped all the way to the main level to stuff our pig faces.

We are still trying to adventure outside our comfort zone in terms of sampling the food options at our home ballparks, so we forced ourselves to pass on the the items we knew we loved. We ended up wandering over to Brother Jimmy's BBQ stand. Before we tell you what we decided to order, allow us to start by saying that on Tuesday (after eating a cookie brownie from Domino's), we both agreed that we were a disgrace and that we needed to start eating better (and perhaps engage in some kind of physical activity) because in just two short weeks, we'd be obligated to expose our disgrace in bikinis. Keeping all of that in mind, we chose to split the pulled pork slider bucket (filled with fries) AND an order of mac and cheese. The bucket was $20 and the mac and cheese was $8. So, the diet basically went right out the window and we'd only been on it for two and a half days.
We're proud to report that while we finished the mac and cheese and all of the sliders, we at least left majority of the fries behind.

Once we finished our meal, it was about time to go find Chewbacca. Oh...did you think we were there to actually watch the game? No. We were there strictly for galactic glory. The baseball game was merely a bonus. So, while the Yankees scored a sh*t ton of runs, we ran back to the 200 level to meet Chewbacca like any other normal American would. Who goes to baseball games to watch the game any way? While we stood on line to wait for Chewbacca, one of the staff people gave us the inside scoop on how to meet Darth Vader, which is all Serena really wanted. Unfortunately, he gave us kind of confusing directions, but we'll get to that in a bit. First: Chewbacca. When he stepped off the elevator, Serena hopped up and down applauding. The behavior wouldn't have been so embarrassing had it not been for the toddler standing next to her doing the exact same thing. Copy cat.
After snuggling with the wookie, we tried to follow the instructions given to us by the staff person. It sadly turned into a scavenger hunt. Basically, we ended up speeding walking the Damon Runyon 5K course. The unfortunate part of the situation is that we did all of that in jeans and swamp ass only to never find the secret location of Darth Vader. We also learned that R2D2 was hidden somewhere in the suites, which is just offensive.

Sweating, hair a mess, clothes sticking to our skin, we stomped from the ground floor back up to our seats in the upper deck. It was the 4th inning.

We missed a lot apparently. The Yankees were already winning by six runs. The game pretty much progressed from there. The final score ended up being 13-7, but the real drama took place in our section. First, the YMCA.

Then, we had to endure a conversation between a pair of Indians' fans. Here's the thing, you can be fans of whatever team you want. You can be male or female. It doesn't matter. Just know what the f*ck you're talking about. We're so sick of men testing our fan authenticity because we're girls. This conversation that we're about to recall for your viewing pleasure is proof that we're surrounded by buffoons at all times.
Fan #1: The one post season event I remember specifically is the Aaron Boone home run.
(This is weird seeing as how this man is not a Yankees fan nor is he a Red Sox fan, which are the two teams involved in this particular event)
Fan #2: I don't remember that.
Fan #1: Really? It was epic. He clocked it right over that wall over there *points to left field wall.*
(Actually, that's incorrect as that home run/game in question took place at the old Yankee Stadium...across the street)
Fan #2: Nope. No idea.
Fan #1: It was against the Red Sox, I believe (Correct). During the World Series (Nope) or something.
(Any a-hole that knows the slightest tid bit about baseball trivia would know that the scenario this man created in his head is impossible as both the Yankees and Red Sox are in the American League and there can't be two AL teams in the World Series)

In conclusion, "men go to Jupiter to get more stupider,"but that's none of our business *sips cup of Lipton tea.*


  1. seems like a Darth Vader themed giveaway would have been a natural. :P

  2. Star Wars night is simply the best! Did you see the lady that photo-bombed your R2D2 hat selfie? WTF was her problem? And don't judge all men on those jack-holes in front of you. We're not all morons.
    Happy birthday again, to Lisa.