Mets vs. Padres 5-23-17

We refused to allow the shenanigans of opening day to continue to plague us, so we made sure to arrive at Citi Field super early this time around. When we pulled into the parking lot, it was practically a desert wasteland. It was so empty that we were able to spot Old Man Ed and his geriatric saunter from afar. We chatted for a bit, but we had to be nice to his face because his wife and offspring were present. As he walked away, we made fun of him for wearing a Matt Harvey jersey. Plus, the jersey was too small. As usual. He always buys the jerseys of the biggest tool on the team and they never fit. He probably has a Carlos Beltran jersey. When he left, we waited for him to create a substantial distance between us before we chose to head toward the stadium as well.

Our first task on the itinerary was to get food. We didn't know what yet, so we had to explore. We ended up with quite the sampling. All of the stands we hit up are located on the main level in the outfield. The first stand we hit was the Arancini Bros stand, which featured different varieties of rice balls.

It cost us $12.50 for 6 balls packaged in what looks like an egg crate. You can mix and match "flavors." Very reasonable. We chose the Buffalo Ball, Bianco Verde, and Bucatini Fritti. The Buffalo Ball is pretty obvious, but the Bianco Verdi had pesto and the Bucatini Fritti had a fried mac and cheese thing going for it. While the Verdi and Fritti were acceptable, the Buffalo was phenomenal. Unfortunately, we ate them in a piss poor order. Mainly because we couldn't tell them apart from one another. We ate Buffalo, Verdi, and Fritti and sadly, starting off with the best ruins the rest.

After the rice balls, we stopped at the Catch of the Day stand and ordered the lobster tacos for $15/order. Initially, we found it a bit expensive, but once we ate the tacos, we found it well worth it. They were DELICIOUS. The order included two tacos, which had lobster, fried cheese, avocado salsa, and slaw (which Serena declined to get) on a corn tortilla.

Finally, to top off our meal, we stopped by the Box Frites stand, which boasted different types of french fry platters. We went with a large platter of garlic and parmesan for $7.50.

Once we finished being disgusting pigs, we got our alcohol and headed toward our seats. We happened to be sitting alongside Corey Spangenberg in left field. He's a ginger, but his profile is attractive. Tricky. He's very tricky. He fooled us good.

 

The most exciting action of the game was Michael Conforto's two run home runs and four RBI's.

Matt Harvey got the win, but not because he was quality. In fact, he was a royal ass clown. Conforto was the real hero. Harvey is a poopie pants. Poopie Pants Harvey. Also noteworthy is the fact that Old Man Ed left the game in the 4th inning or something equally as ridiculous.

 

As the stands began to clear, we ran around our section stealing the tabs from other people's beer cans to help organize Serena's bedroom closet in her new apartment. Like white trash.