Friday, March 12, 2010

Baseball. We Promise. It’s About Baseball

In celebration of our San Diego hotel booking and proximity to the illustrious Tijuana, we asked you if you thought it would be a good idea for us to take a side trip to Tijuana while we’re there. Sadly, only 4 people decided to leave us any sort of input and the 1 person who voted, “Don’t bother. There’s no way sickos like you are making it past border patrol” is an a-hole. Sickos? We get that we’re a bit weird, but sick? Really? Are you an angry ex-boyfriend or something? Holy crap, are you TOWSNBN? If that’s the case, you’re just rude and our loyalty has switched to Murphy anyway, so there! 2 people said that we should make a stop over in Tijuana because of all the donkeys and tequila to be had and 1 person rightfully asked what any of this had to do with baseball. Absolutely nothing, that’s what. No one thinks that Erin and Serena could potentially leave Lisa there, which is nice to hear as they’re not THAT irresponsible and Lisa would really prefer not to be left ANYWHERE, let alone in a foreign country. Lastly, no one thinks that a visit to Tijuana is warranted should we finish up Sea World early and Lego Land is closed. That’s probably valid seeing as how there’s no possible way we’d leave Sea World early. Let’s be serious. Sea World is second only to Disney on the Pyramid of Awesomeness.

Quite a bit of interesting baseball notes this week, we feel (interesting being the operative word here as there are always baseball notes): With just under a month until Opening Day, Twins closer, Joe Nathan was officially diagnosed with a “torn ulnar collateral ligament” in his right elbow. The only words we understood here were “torn” and “ligament.” Obviously this injury is bad news for Nathan and the Twins. If he has surgery to repair the damage, it could potentially cost him the entire 2010 season. Devastating news for a team set to defend their 2009 division title. That being said, the Twins are a solid, dependable team and we’re confident that they’ll be able to rally around the loss of Nathan. After all, “there is no ‘I’ in TEAM.”

It seems that Phillies’ outfielder, Jayson Werth has adopted a “Willie Coyote” look for spring training for reasons that are completely unknown to us. Werth, WTF? Did you not pay close attention to our facial hair post? What is happening with your hair? Furthermore, what is happening at home that your wife has allowed you to leave the house in this manner?
At a press conference on Tuesday, the Yankees announced that the stadium will host the Pinstripe Bowl on December 30th, which will feature a match up between the Big East team with the third-best conference record and the Big 12 team with the sixth-best record after removing both conferences’ BCS Bowl participants. Whew! That’s a mouthful. To those who don’t follow college football, we assure you that all of that statement made perfect sense. You may recall that the stadium will also host a regular season football game between Notre Dame and Army on November 20th. The old Yankees Stadium used to play home to the New York Giants, so we suppose that it’s only natural for the franchise to want to continue the football tradition at their new stomping grounds. We can’t help but wonder if Citi Field will do the same (for those of you unfamiliar, the New York Jets used to call Shea Stadium home).

On Wednesday morning, Nomar Garciaparra and his nose announced his retirement following the signing of a 1-day contract with the Red Sox in order to retire as a member of the team. He will join ESPN as a baseball analyst on Baseball Tonight, but will also serve as an occasional game commentator. Exactly how many people are going to serve on this damn panel? The set is going to be the size of the UN! The TBB should just join at this point. Our opinions clearly need to be heard and obviously the nation is waiting for us to grace the television.

Jose Reyes aka: A-hole #2, was told to rest and refrain from doing his job (which he gets paid a lot of money to do and for which he will now continue to get a lot of money not to do) for 2-8 weeks until his thyroid levels normalize. Is that why he is so skinny? Not for nothing, it’s not like he actually did his job to begin with after signing that big contract of his. He went from being an enjoyable player to watch to A-hole #2, who throws temper tantrums on the field and throws objects at his manager. Despite our belief that this doesn’t make much of a difference to the Mets, Johan Santana said probably the World’s Most Awesome Quote in History in response to the press referring Reyes’ absence on Opening Day as a “kick to the stomach.” He corrected their description by saying, “No. Not to the stomach. A kick to the coconut.” And this is why Johan Santana is our Super Hero of the Week. If his name was Johan McSantana, he’d be Serena’s birthday party mascot.

Keeping with the subject of Mets Opening Day, bear in mind that Carlos Beltran aka: A-hole #1 (or shall we say, the ORIGINAL A-hole?) will also miss Opening Day thanks to his January 13th knee surgery, which he had taken upon himself to get done without consulting his team first. That is why he’ll never be Super Hero of the Week.

Speaking of our Super Hero of the Week, were you aware that the celebration of his glorious birth is tomorrow, March 13th? Which basically means that Serena has the best birthday in the history of birthdays (lots of history being made in today’s blog as you can see). The only way Serena’s birthday could possibly improve is if he showed up to her party dressed in green and allowed us to friend him on Facebook (without leaving us pending indefinitely). He doesn’t even have to bring a birthday gift. His presence would be more than satisfying. As you may or may not notice, Serena is rocking an "Irish Princess" birthday tiara in honor of her Irish birthday.
Last of the birthday wishes this week: Happy Birthday to Maddox, #1 Fan Steph’s enigmatic son (and Lisa’s godson)! He will be 6 on Sunday.

Of course, we wish you the best St. Patty’s Day that green beer could possibly offer you. Erin go bragh!

BallHype: hype it up!


  1. Happy Birthday Serena;)! That has got to be one of the best quotes i have ever heard and it just makes me love Johan even more!Jose Jose is a big disappointment:(!Maybe Johan will take a photo with you girls during the double birthday celebration! TOWSNBN will be soooo jealous;)

  2. Thank you for the birthday wishes, Steph! You're awesome,your hubbie is awesome, and your son has the coolest dance moves ever!

    TOWSNBN cannot have us back. He blew it! He will be so sorry that he's not invited to the partay tomorrow night! Especially after we post video of Johan busting a move to Danny Boy.