We arrived at Citi Field for tailgating at 4:00 for a 7:10 game start time. Lisa was given a portable grill by Nicole for her birthday and we fired that mo-fo right up. While our bubba burgers were cooking, we charted a game plan for interviewing some fans.
Before we show you the video of his interview, we’d like to point out that since we’re not media experts in possession of highly advanced audio technology, the sound is not perfect. To counter this, we’ve listed the 5 questions we asked our accommodating interviewees for your convenience:
*(To a Phillies fan) What’s your favorite thing about the Mets? (To a Mets fan) What’s your favorite thing about the Phillies?
*Does Jayson Werth’s beard have magical powers?
*If you were David Wright (we didn’t refer to him as TOWSNBN because we’re pretty sure they wouldn’t have had any idea as to what we were talking about), would you marry Lisa?
*If you were a professional baseball player, what song would play as you came to the plate? Sing it…
*Would you share food (or beverage) from your tailgating party with us? If so, what?
Depending on the situation, we didn’t ask select questions, as you will see in the footage, but these are the questions that were essentially asked.
Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Dominick. Note how Serena subtly got footage of the moron Red Sox fan at a Mets/Phillies game. We’re not going to comment further. Dominick kindly declined our offer of a hot dog, but his Red Sox fan friend hungrily accepted it. As we parted ways with our first friendly Phillies gang and successful interview, the Red Sox fan shouted after us, “This hot dog sucks!” Well, sir, YOU suck! But your friends don’t. They were awesome.
The next person we spoke to was Orlando, a Mets fan. He was a bit shy at first, but after a little coaxing, we got him to agree to be on camera.
Having completed our goal of interviewing 2 fans of the opposing teams, we agreed that it was time to get our free giveaways.Laura and Kelly. As you can see, these ladies were everything we could’ve hoped for. This is sheer brilliance, folks.
We headed for the Kid Zone next. On the way, we saw the Verizon Wireless store again. We noticed that they changed the David Wright wall photo to one of KROD. Oh, yeah. We weren’t passing up that shit. Plus, we scored free t-shirts. Bonus!
Our grand portrait with the one and only Mr. Met:
Issac and Yuval. They were quite sweet considering that we say “chased them down,” we mean it in the literal sense. Plus, Serena rudely tapped Isaac on the shoulder in order to get his attention. In case you haven’t noticed, almost everyone said yes to our question, “If you were David Wright, would you marry Lisa?” Isaac said no, but his answer was well thought out and completely logical.
Serena wrote a beautiful poem that would rival William Butler Yeats for Lisa’s birthday to be displayed on the Mets’ scoreboard. The Mets confirmed in an email earlier that day that the message would indeed be posted anywhere between the bottom of the 4th to the 8th. What they ended up posting was this crass butchering of literature:
We held on in hopes that the Mets would attempt to stage a comeback until the 8th inning and then we finally gave up and left.
Andy Pettitte is KILLING us here! An MRI taken after a bullpen session on Tuesday revealed that Pettitte’s got a small, persistent strain, which explains why he’s still experiencing discomfort when the intensity of his pitches increases. It’ll be another week before he’s able to get near a pitcher’s mound again. *Insert frustrated moan* Based on the injury’s initial assessment, we’d expected Pettitte to return to the Yankees in time to pitch against the Red Sox during the first week of August. At the latest, the Yankees felt that he’d be back for last week’s series against the Royals. Now that both of the series have come to pass, we know that these estimates were inaccurate. The Yankees are currently looking at Pettitte’s return happening three weeks from this point, which puts him in a position to be ready for the Sept 10-12th series in Texas. This, of course, is only if there are no more hiccups in his recovery between now and then.
The jack ass known as “The Rocket” has been indicted on 3 counts of making false statements and 2 counts of perjury. The charges stem from the false statements he made to congress about his use of performance enhancement drugs in 2008. Clemens “tweeted” yesterday that “he never used performance enhancement drugs.” Really, dude? You’re not gonna let this one go, are you?
Last but not least, we’d like to extend our thanks to those nice fans who allowed us to interview them. Even more thanks go to them for agreeing to be posted here on this blog. We’re going to try to do this again at the Yankees/A’s game on August 31st. Fans in the area on this date beware.
“The Irish eyes are smiling, but not because the Mets won. It’s just because we’re drunk.”