Wild Bullsh*t

The 2012 postseason is almost upon us. Whoo hoo. In preparation for its arrival, we asked what you would like us to cover on our blog. 2 of you want us to blog during a game at a bar while drinking. While we totally understand why you chose this (it's going to be hilarious), we can't help but wonder at your intelligence level. Only 1 person each voted for covering an out-of-market World Series parade or an out-of-market playoff game if the Yankees don't advance. Aren't these options more interesting than us drunk blogging? Thankfully no one voted for us to cover an entire story on Joe Buck's hair. We would've done it because you asked, but we really would've been pissed off about it.

We're trying hard to be excited about the playoffs. The fact that the entire American League situation is still up in the air is pretty thrilling. However, we're not going to lie to you. We do not want to be sitting here with you today and we don't want to talk about the playoffs or baseball. We just want to finish watching the Packers/Saints game, drink our newly purchased pumpkin ale, nap, and then watch the Giants game. Lisa arrived at Serena's house during the second quarter of the Jets/49ers game (what an abortion of a football game). We napped during halftime. Watched the second half. Bought beer. Ate. Watched the first half of the Packers/Saints game. Thought that maybe we should start blogging just to get it over with. Bitched about a variety of things. Finally started blogging.

Here's why we're feeling just a touch flat about the playoffs. That stupid added Wild Card team. It's literally the dumbest idea we've ever heard of. We've come up with more brilliant plans following Jameson shots than this asinine piece of work that the MLB has come up with. That's really saying something because we never remember what happens following Jameson shots. It's bad enough that oftentimes Wild Card teams defeat teams that legitimately have the best record in the league, but you know what? Sh*t happens. Now you're telling us that there is potential for an even sh*ttier team to defeat the team with the best record. Here's how it should work: when you're in little league baseball and you suck, you shouldn't get a trophy. The kids who play the best and win should get a trophy. That's what makes winning so valuable. You get rewarded for your hard work! What's the point in playing if you're going to get a trophy regardless? Why bother putting in effort?

A lot of old-schoolers don't like the Wild Card to begin with. Lisa doesn't love it, Serena's okay with it. It kind of makes things exciting as the season draws near as we wait and see who will qualify. A second Wild Card team from each league is just a joke. You're talking about a team who will have a vastly worse record than the Division leader, yet we're going to reward them for an entire season of mediocrity. Let's look at the NL East for an example. Both the Nationals and Braves have both clinched playoff berths. The next two teams vying for a Wild Card spot are the Cardinals and Dodgers. Both the Nationals and Braves are teams with over 90 wins apiece. The Cardinals and Dodgers currently stand at 85 and 83 wins respectively. That's a gap of 10 victories and yet these two teams get to contend with the same Wild Card spot as the Nationals and Braves? That's not fair. Clearly the Nationals and Braves have been more successful all season. They should be rewarded, not penalized. If the season ended today with the Nationals clinching the NL East with the Braves and Cardinals competing for the Wild Card spot in a one-game playoff, the weaker team could beat the better one just because they performed better in ONE game. It's total bullsh*t.

Baseball notes: RA Dickey, Jered Weaver, and David Price got their 20 wins this week. Hooray for them. Apparently 20-game win seasons are being handed out like wh*res hand out favors.

Today, Mike Trout became the first major league rookie to hit 30 home runs and steal 40 bases...ever. As in, no other rookie has ever done that before. Which basically makes Mike Trout a real American hero.

And that's it right away, as Serena's old boss, Tommy, would say. Peace out, motha fuckaaaaaahs!