So Mamadukes is epic because she bought Serena tickets to the Bernie Williams Retirement game. After a leisurely workout at Serena’s place of employment, we ate at Chipotle (to save money – even though we spent $15 each) and then headed to Yankee Stadium for the big night. We didn’t want to take any chances on the traffic front. It was Memorial Day weekend and even though it was a Sunday night, we recalled how several years ago, we went to a Yankees/Red Sox game on the Friday night before Memorial Day and it took us 4 hours to drive a distance that should’ve only taken 45 minutes. Max. We not only missed the first 3 innings of the game, but more importantly, we missed the free giveaway, which was a light up baseball pen.
Anyway, back to Bernie Williams. We arrived at the Stadium at 6:00 and this is what the line outside looked like:
Like the Yankees were giving away high class strippers and cocaine. We figured we’d “outsmart the system” by hanging out the Hard Rock Café bar and then sneak in through restaurant without standing on line. Well…after spending $20 on two beers (that weren’t even imports), we discovered that the restaurant entrance into the place wouldn’t open in time for the start of Bernie’s ceremony. So, as usual, additional proof of how we suck at life.
After our beers, we got back on line, went through the metal detector for a second time, and finally got into the ballpark. The free giveaway was a Bernie Williams card thingy.
Mamadukes had us rolling in style this evening. We got to sit in cushy seats for the first time in the history of the Traveling Baseball Babes.
We snapped a few pro-Bernie photos before the ceremony started.
Before Bernie came onto the field, they retired his number in Monument Park.
He and his family traveled via golf cart to the area around home plate where he unveiled his Monument Park plaque and made a very important speech. Serena nearly cried.
Some noteworthy moments from the ceremony. Bernie’s mother is adorable. Andy and Tino are f*cking hot. Derek Jeter is balder than ever with a freshly waxed chest. He must go to the European Wax Center. He’s also very tan.
Bernie also threw out the ceremonial first pitch and thus ended the happy moments of the evening.
Following the ceremonial first pitch, the Yankees took a sh*t on the field instead of actively participating in a baseball game. They ruined #BernieDay. Bunch of ass clowns.
We found these while leaving, which made us happy again: