Here's what we're expecting to take place this year:
1. We will purchase Opening Day tickets. We will continue to bitch about our lack of Opening Day tickets on this blog until we actually acquire tickets.
2. The Yankees will suck major donkey dick.
3. It will take precisely one month for the Mets to alienate and lose all of the bandwagons that hopped on last year. While the Mets' performance will greatly disappoint Lisa, she'll be delighted to finally be rid of all the ass clowns that clogged up her online ticket purchasing.
4. Derek Jeter will become a coach of some kind. Serena will vomit.
5. We will travel to Miami to see the Marlins with Mamadukes. We will most likely not like the stadium.
6. Serena will drive her roommate and his girlfriend from the apartment single handedly.
7. After which, Lisa will move in and we'll turn that back room into the Traveling Baseball Babes' Babe Cave.
8. We will not play fantasy baseball. We just don't have the bandwidth and truth be told, Lisa doesn't remember her password to get into the league.
9. Our Halloween costume will be even more epic than years' past. We know, we know. You're asking yourselves, "how is that even possible?" Well, we're telling you. It is.
10. Potentially participate in a New York City-wide pillow fight.
Don't even bother asking why we're still single. This list should cover the answer to that question.