Our first TBB visit to Citi Field this season was an impromptu one. This was our official 59th game attended together. It's getting real, guys. We're old and we spend too much time together because we're lonely and can't find love.
Serena's coworker got the tickets and we tailgated for just over an hour in the parking lot. It turns out, unbeknownst to Serena, that her coworker is the Sheldon Cooper of tailgating. Therefore, he shall henceforth be known as Sheldon since he didn't really give us permission to talk about him on the blog. Sheldon packed coolers (yes, more than one) of food, beer, and water. We had organic chips, wings, celery, carrots, organic pineapple cubes, organic guacamole. We had a flip flop that functioned as a bottle opener. We had rolls of paper towels, plates. We had country music (which we specifically asked him to turn off several times). He directed strangers into their parking spaces without being asked for assistance. He had a timer set so that we had the precise amount of time to walk to the stadium and get into our seats by first pitch.
Old Man Ed was also at the game, so he stopped by to molest us. He really misses spending time with us. Plus, since he's so decrepit and old, he makes us feel young. Side note: Old Man Ed did not invite us to the game with him. He only knew we were there because he stalks us on Facebook. What a poop head.
This is a photo of us about to walk into the stadium for the game:
As you can see, we're very classy with our red solo cups.
Our seats were in section 508. Not a bad view, eh?
The big news heading into the game was that the Mets had acquired Yoenis Cesepedes. Behold his first at bat:
The excitement of him joining the Mets wore off relatively quickly since he did absolutely nothing all game. We're not going to judge him yet seeing as it was his first game, but he has exactly three more games to turn shit around. After that, we boo.
The rest of Mets' offense was pretty pathetic as well. Had it not been for Papa L.'s favorite player (said in a sarcastic voice) hitting two home runs, the outcome of the game would've been very different. In the 4th inning, Lisa turned to Serena and said, "this f*cker has a perfect game and he's a nobody. We're going to see a perfect game pitched by a nobody on the other team." Serena replied, "Lisa, you're turning into your father. It's only the 4th inning." Very shortly after this dialogue exchange, Duda hit his first home run. Despite the fact that we high-fived our neighboring fans, Lisa still refuses to like him. After the fervor died down, we realized that we neglected to document anything regarding the home run. Not even the celebration, let alone the home run tomato in center field. We failed. However, we DID take this, "Uh, oh, no more perfect game for you, Joe Ross" photo:
When Duda hit his second home run, Lisa remembered to snap this photo:
Please excuse the random asshole throwing the deuces.
The Mets would go on to win 3-2, bringing them within one game of first place in the NL East. This is kind of a big deal. For the first time in a long time, both New York teams are playing good baseball. Papa L. really wants to merge both teams into one - keeping the Mets' pitching staff and the Yankees' offense. We'd be unstoppable. New York City would be a force to be reckoned with. Unfortunately, there are too many idiots on this planet that "just can't root for a Yankee (or a Met)." Bunch of buffoons. Plus, imagine all the money we'd save cutting the fat. Literally. We're going to fire all of the fat players. We're too innovative for this world, guys. We're ahead of our time.
Since we didn't get a chance to see Heart, we made it a point to stay for the post-game fireworks show. Granted, the fireworks cannot possibly hope to compete with Heart or any 80's rock band for that matter, but it was a good show nevertheless. Our Samsung Galaxy 6 phones takes killer fireworks photos (Samsung, you should be paying us for this plug):
