Since we are on the subject of Timmy, did anyone catch his last game July 14th? Well we are happy to announce that little Timmy had eight shut out innings when the Giants played the Astros last Saturday as well as 11 strikeouts. Timmy also scored the games first run in the fifth when he scored from third base on Melky Cabrera’s single to right field. It looks like Timmy followed the strict regiment we gave him. If you are reading this and have no clue what we are talking about then please click here before you read on. The only reason why Timmy did not pitch the perfect game as stated was because we think he might of missed one or two prank calls to Barry Zito which probably threw the regiment off a bit and his fake mustache probably fell off. These were key steps that were needed to be followed to ensure the perfect game. Serena and I are totally taking credit for this improvement and the SF Giants and fans can thank us at a later time. Have no fear we will come up with something outrageous to demand like a lifetime supply of taco bell and a pet shark for Serena. We are helping MLB players everywhere one asinine letter at a time (insert we are the world theme song).
Next week we are off to Canada. Serena has informed me her ever so nice Canadian friend got us tickets to a second Toronto game! As if that’s not exciting enough these seats are infinitely better then ours rumor has it that they are field level. Score! This gives Serena not one but two chances to try and meet her taco bell soul mate Justin Verlander. Said friend is also taking us to Real Sports aka the bar with the huge TV. Our imaginary balls are tingling with excitement. I think this might be heaven. With all our sins we are allowed into the pearly gates as shown here.
Also on our agenda we plan on having a classy ass dinner where the TBB will get all dolled up to eat at the top of the CN tower. Afterwards we plan on going drinking and possible dancing. What is not on the schedule is to be roofied. I will try very hard not to get roofied and I will try not to roofie my friend as I’m in the process of getting roofied. If anybody knows of some sites that are a must to see while we are visiting please email us “ey”.
Things are not going well for my Mets. They have lost the last 8 out of 9 games and now Johan Santana has been put on the DL for a right ankle sprain. It is said that he will take more then the minimum 15 days to recover and we are looking at him starting again for the Aug 7TH-12th homestand. I can’t say I didn’t see it coming. Thanks for making the beginning of the season entertaining boys. I already know how the season is going to end.
Serena’s future husband Justin Morneau is on paternity leave. Yup that’s right paternity leave. He is attending the birth of his second child. I don’t think Serena and I even knew he had a fist child. God this is so awkward now. Morneau has a maximum of three days to be away from the team.
The Atlanta Braves staged a stunning comeback on Friday. They entered the 6th inning down 9-0 and by the end of the eighth they cut their loss to only being down by one run. The Braves went on to lead it in the 9th but a rare blown save by Craig Kimbrel postponed the win to the 11th inning when they won 11-10. Cue in LL Cool J “Don’t call it a comeback” That being said I am making the Braves the TBB super hero of the week for such a great comeback.
American Airlines is the A-hole of the week. Why you ask? Because the morons lost my luggage on April 25th on my way to Punta Cana. It is now July 22nd and they have yet to compensate me for a dime. Good luck trying to complain because you can’t talk to supervisor ever and talking to customer service is like dealing with a politician answering a question.
Well it’s been real kids. Remember next week we will be out of the country so in the words of the soup nazi on Seinfeld- “NO BLOG FOR YOU! “