March 1st is literally next week. This means that spring training is underway and Opening Day for the 2016 regular season and our 2016 stadium tour season are just on the horizon. We've some updates for you on that front and they're not necessarily pretty.
Opening Day news:
* Yankees' tickets have been procured
*The Mets are penises, but they're not nearly as large as the penises (peni? what is the proper English term for more than one penis?) trying to sell Opening Day tickets on Stub Hub for standing room only for nearly $100. For $100, someone better be standing there (preferably someone that looks like Ryan Reynolds or Tim Tebow) serving us food and beer and possibly massaging our upper backs and necks as we stand for all of the 9 innings. Therefore, we may be in attendance for Opening Night instead. We have an insider source with the Mets that is going to look into things behind the scenes for us on Tuesday. After that, we will have further information for you. If it doesn't go well, expect next week's blog to be a full on rant (after which, we hope that the Mets will take pity on us and reach out, offering us complimentary tickets to Opening Day).
Stadium Tour news:
*Last year's Philly trip was rained out, but we're allowed to exchange those tickets for a game this season and we've chosen the September 17th game against the Marlins. We will be contacting the box office tomorrow.
*On the subject of the Marlins, we're planning on visiting Mamadukes at the end of August. We're really looking forward to reuniting her with Don Mattingly. We'll take photos and ruin her life by posting them here on the world wide web for all to see. Since it'll be Florida in August, those pictures are sure to be considered masterpieces. Bring on the breast sweat. We will probably have an update regarding these tickets next week after pay day. Now who wants to pay for our airfare?