Insert Cyber Middle Finger Here

Well...we're annoyed. Needless to say. We're angrier than Anger from the movie, Inside Out.

We'll start simply by saying f*ck you. F*ck you, Mets. F*ck you, presale. F*ck you, bandwagon fans. F*ck you, season ticket holders. F*ck you, StubHub. F*ck you, selfish pricks selling tickets on StubHub. F*ck you, airlines. All of the airlines. Just f*ck you.

The Mets toyed with our emotions by mailing Lisa a presale postcard. She logged on for this supposed presale in November as instructed. She followed the special instructions. She clicked on Opening Day. Her only option was standing room only, which is preposterous. The multiple times that she checked back thereafter returned nothing. Absolutely nothing. She called the box office. Nothing. She reached out to her contacts in high places. Nothing. She checked StubHub. There was something. However, that something offended her very being. For standing room only tickets, these ass clowns are asking for $130/each. For seats that are located next the throne of Zeus on Mount Olympus range from $140-$290. Let's all put the crack pipe down. Who is the asshole that is paying this amount for those seats? F*ck you. Due to this abomination, we've resigned ourselves to attending Mets' Opening Night. For $72/each, we'll be getting fireworks and field level seats. So, f*ck you.

Let's talk Miami stadium tour. It is apparently extremely difficult to find non-stop flights to Florida for less than $400/person. Who the hell do you think you are, airlines? We're refusing to check a bag for this trip because you're going to charge us for them, so where do you get the balls to demand this prices for inconvenient flights? F*ck you.

Also, happy birthday, Serena. And that's it right away.