Saturday, May 26, 2018

Yankees' Star Wars Night 2018

Ever since Thor Bobblehead Night 2017, we have vowed never to miss out on a premium giveaway ever again. Therefore, we left Long Island at 3 pm for a 7pm game start. We stupidly listened to the Waze app, who claimed it could save us 10 minutes with an alternative route. She's a liar. She wasted at least 35 minutes of our time, if not 45, ambling around the back streets of the Bronx. You people are not from here, but allow us to assure you that you don't want to be wandering around this section of the Bronx. There's no one to protect you here. No Devil of Hell's Kitchen. No Luke Cage of Harlem. No Jessica Jones. Even they don't venture into this part of Manhattan. By the time we parked in the garage it was after 4:30 and we panicked that we wouldn't get a bobblehead and it was a very special bobblehead. Aaron Judge and his gap tooth dressed like a Jedi. This was an imperative free giveaway. If we missed it, why bother even attending the game? We know we've said this 1,000 times, but it must be repeated again. Just make enough bobbleheads for all us! Then we wouldn't have to get to the game two hours early. It's exhausting.

We ran to the closest gate, which happened to be near the bleachers and found a rather small line and a huge stack of bobbleheads. Which means we freaked out for no reason. Of course, all was not right in the universe because the security guard took Serena's Wonder Woman water bottle because it was aluminum and he's a stupid rule follower.
After collecting our bobbleheads, we went in search of characters. Priority #2 of Star Wars Night. Who even gives a shit about the game when Star Wars Night is afoot?

Unfortunately, by the time we raced to our usual photo opp spot, the characters were leaving to line up for the on field parade. We were almost dejected when we noticed that R2D2 wasn't going anywhere. We overheard the "handler" say, "the only reason he's here right now is that he needs to charge up before we head to the field." Bingo.
Lifetime achievement unlocked. 

We had some time before the on field festivities would begin, so we decided to get food. Quick backstory before we dive into our food choices. We recently weighed ourselves and found us wanting. Therefore, we've recently adopted a low carb diet (mainly fruits, vegetables, etc.) with a focus on protein and healthy fats. Minimal to no processed foods. When Star Wars Night rolled around, we were only on the cusp of week two, so it seemed in poor taste to fall entirely off the wagon so quickly. You can imagine how difficult it is to stick to a strict diet at a ballpark. After much debate and a little bit of belly aching, we ended up settling on the simple sushi rolls (the special rolls have too much shit on them). We realize that in previous blog posts (particularly in our Safeco Field post) we mentioned that we don't relish the idea of eating sushi at a ballpark, but desperate times call for desperate measures. We figured that we'd either be fine or lose all of the weight we gained due to food poisoning. We each ordered a side of edamame and two rolls for $30. Lisa ordered a spicy tuna and a vegetable roll and Serena ordered a spicy tuna and a spicy salmon roll. Before you scoff at this price, it's actually pretty comparable to one of our local sushi delivery places. 
The sushi totally exceeded our expectations.  We were pleasantly surprised by how decent the rolls were. We probably wouldn't gravitate to the sushi stand on every visit, but it was a nice change of pace for us. 

After food, we headed up to our section to watch the Star Wars festivities. The photos and video will speak for themselves here.
As you can see, we really got into photographing the big screen. 

The ceremonial first pitch was thrown by Ron Howard.
The game gets less interesting for us because we got everything we wanted and our attention span has an expiration date. We were at the ball game way too early and the activities were too numerous for us to continue to focus on one thing. We found ourselves playing with the bobblehead a lot. This is the view from our seats and our shirts. Lisa bought a brand new one that morning for the occasion. 
 This is a photo of Giancarlo dressed like an X-Wing pilot.
There is something that needs to be discussed before we touch upon the game and it has to do with the current Yankee roster and they're complete and total lack of Star Wars knowledge. The big screen showed an off camera person interviewing individual players about favorite Star Wars movies, favorite characters, etc. 90% of the players confessed to not having seen Star Wars. How is this even possible? Oh, wait, they're all infants and probably weren't born to even see Phantom Menace in the theater (which is literally the worse Star Wars movie, by the way. Serena won't even let Lisa watch it). One guy actually replied that he was more of a Trekkie. It's not Star Trek Night! It's Star Wars! Lie, you big dope! Furthermore, what kind of person chooses Star Trek over Star Wars. You're seriously choosing William Shatner over Harrison Ford and Darth Vader? You're an asshole. Marketing should've stepped up and told these nincompoops what the answers were instead of embarrassing us, embarrassing themselves, embarrassing their families, and embarrassing any unborn children that they might be considering to have. 

The game actually started off pretty impressive followed by the bullpen pissing away a perfectly good CC Sabathia start (look at him now...that possibly could've been his last quality start and his bullpen failed him). Most of the assholes in the bullpen are the same assholes who had never seen Star Wars. Jack Wagons. The Yankees ended up winning in extra innings, but Serena still hasn't forgiven them for this whole insult to her favorite childhood trilogy. 


  1. At Fenway, for Star Wars night you buy your tickets through a special offer to get the bobbleheads. On the one hand, it's annoying to have to wait for the special offer before buying tickets. But, you're guaranteed a bobblehead that way, so that's a big plus.

    1. That's a great idea! But do people still do that stupid, "let me take my three bobbleheads and leave the game" bullshit?

  2. Did Josh Tomlin have a hard time pitching in the Storm Trooper' mask? Probably had accuracy issues just like storm troppers. Hihooooooo.

    Looked like R2D2's eyeball is staring right at Lisa's cleavage.