“Look At This F*cking Blog”

Welcome to our first official Sunday blog! Last week we asked if you thought our blogging skills would improve by moving from Friday to Sunday. Thankfully, no one voted for “Yeah, I am not sure there’s any hope whatsoever for your skills to improve because you’re pretty terrible.” This makes a feel a little bit better about ourselves. 1 person chose “Sure. You’ll definitely have more time to think about what you’re writing so that you can stop delivering crap.” Apparently, the rest of you think that we should blog intoxicated without proofreading. Raw and unadulterated. We’re not sure what to think of this, but one of these days, we’re definitely giving you an intoxicated blog and when you complain that you can’t understand it, you’ll have no one to blame but yourselves. Before we get into the rest of today’s post, we should point out that Lisa arrived at Serena’s house at 5:00 to blog and it’s already 7:09 and we’ve only completed the first paragraph. Just to give you an idea as to how easily distracted we are.

Nevermind. It’s 7:11. We were sidetracked by the mini giraffe running on a treadmill in a commercial.

Right. Take 2. Down to business.

7:21 pm. Take 3.

As you can see by the date, our contest to go with Lisa to Mets Opening Day has come to an end. Special thanks to all 4 contest entries. Initially, the winner of the contest was going to go to Rollo Tomasi, self-proclaimed ex-KGB agent. His entry was as follows:

To imperialist leaders of TBB,
I write to you as proof I am to be the one to be going to weakling american sporting event with hot american babe, Lisa.
For many years during glorious revolution I have been watching this game "ball of bases".
I am sportsman. Long ago I play hockey for great Soviet Ice Hockey team, is sport for real men who do not be wearing the caps and running like women. Hockey. That is real man's sport.
But for chance to accompany hot american chick, Rollo will force self to sit through wimpy american game of throw ball and hit ball and catch ball.
Am much looking forward to discussing with Lisa important events and symbolic struggle of working class as seen in typical american sports and all literature in soviet union.
Also wants to drink watery american beer and eat hot dog.
With eager feet I await answer from one who calls herself Lisa or her superior commander, Serena.


Rollo Tomasi

This entry amused us to no end and up until early this week, Rollo had this contest in the bag. A few things tipped the scales against Rollo. For starters, he kept emailing us follow-up emails…incessantly. For no friggin’ reason. And he insulted us every chance he got. The first 2 or 3 emails were funny. After that, Rollo just got ANNOYING! Secondly, we’re pretty sure that Rollo is really Uncle Pat…who also submitted an entry as himself. LASTLY, on Monday, we received the sweetest contest entry from Auntiedukes and we were so charmed, we deemed Auntiedukes winner of the contest! Here’s her entry:

Dear Traveling Baseball Babes
I would like to win this contest ... for several reasons.
1) I have never been to Citi Field (drove past it today!), nor Shea Stadium, come to think of it.
2) I have never been to an Opening Day Game, nor a Met game, come to think of it.
3) I’d like to understand why Lisa loves the Mets (and not the Yankees)
4) I miss hanging with Lisa. Haven't seen her since Paris.
5) And last, but not least, Eats on me!


Auntiedukes <3

How darling is this? In fact, her entry is so darling that it breaks our heart to admit that this whole contest was really an April Fool’s Day joke. However, we plan on making it up to Auntie. We’ll take her to any weekend Mets game that she wants and write about the day on the blog! It will be Auntie’s first appearance on it! Also, we’re making her TBB Super Hero of the Week. Hopefully, this makes up for our insensitive jokes that amuse us, but hurt others.

You may recall that a week or so ago, we mentioned that Megan from BuildASign designed adorable bumper stickers and magnets to advertise the TBB blog. Well, we’ve finally received them and they’re just as cute as they appeared to be online. The magnets are a FANTASTIC quality. They came out really, really nice as you can see here:

Megan was absolutely wonderful. She offered excellent customer service, was extremely helpful, and it was Megan who came up with the clever logo to add to the magnets/stickers. If anyone is in need of merchandise like this for their small business, charity, website, etc., we encourage you to check out BuildASign’s site. They sell customized signs, banners, magnets, stickers, and other assorted items.

MLB Opening Day is finally upon us! We hope that everyone had the opportunity to read Serena’s post about Yankees Opening Day on Thursday. Lisa will be posting about Mets Opening Day next week. So you’ll have TWO special edition TBB posts in a span of two weeks! Can you even handle it?

It’s now 7:49 pm. Apparently Mr. Met visits BJ’s Clubhouse section at every game. Sorry. 7:50 pm.

Like the professional players, we also prepped long and hard for Opening Day. You might be asking yourselves, “What does the TBB do to prepare for Opening Day, I wonder?” Excellent question. Wonder no more, our curious little minions. We shall tell you.

8:23 pm. Sorry. Watched the trailer for The Hangover 2.

We ordered a Sicilian pie with chicken and broccoli toppings…ate ¾ of it…and enjoyed a Major League marathon. We probably would’ve gotten through Bull Durham, but we were a little tired from eating. Annnnnnnd yeah. That’s it. That’s how we prepared. Happy Opening Day!

One lone baseball note for this week, but it’s a gem: the Phillies released Luis Castillo just one week after signing him to a minor-league deal. Guess you should’ve showed up to the first day of practice, huh, Luis? Guess this still proves that you’re still an a-hole who can’t catch an Alex Rodriguez pop up to the infield.

You’ll be excited to hear that next Sunday you’ll get a proper baseball blog as we’re attending the Yankees/Twins game on Monday night. We know how much you love our asinine stadium photos. We will NOT be wearing the sexy Morneau and Mauer t-shirts that Serena bought us for obvious reasons. Those are being saved for Target Field. Speaking of Target Field, our Midwest stadium tour is officially booked as Lisa booked our Milwaukee hotel this morning! The Midwest will never be the same.

In honor of Major League, we leave you with, “Baseball you make our hearts sing! You make everything groovy! C’mon, Baseball! Shake it, shake it, shake it! Baseball, we think we love you!”

It’s now 8:40 pm and Lisa’s sniffing the bumper magnets. Over and out, good buddies!

So Let’s Dance the Last Dance

Welcome to the last official day of mobile blogging. Oh and last official Friday blog posting. Since this is Serena’s last day with this company, the TBB have a final practical joke to play on those being left behind. Unfortunately, we cannot divulge exactly what the master plan is until after 5:00…or else certain folks may attempt to thwart this exhibition. In the meantime, we’ll share last week’s poll results. We asked which of the discussed MLB commercials tickled your fancy the most. Of the 7 responses, 4 people felt that Brian Wilson and his magical beard for MLB 2K11 was the best. Only 1 individual thought Joe Mauer’s new “well-played, Mauer” commercial for MLB The Show was amusing. Tim Lincecum’s commercials only earned 1 vote apiece as well. No one chose David Wright’s Vitamin Water commercial or Joe Mauer’s original “well-played, Mauer” commercial. That’s a little sad considering that the Joe Mauer one is really enjoyable to us.

Monday started off bright and cheery (at least for Lisa) because the Mets announced that they’d released Oliver Perez, choosing to eat the remainder of his $12 million salary rather than tolerate his bull shit any longer. Bravo! In the first 2 years of his 3-year contract, Perez went 3-9 with a 6.81 ERA in 31 appearances (21 starts). HAHAHAHA. So long, Ollie! Unfortunately, our joy in his departure was short-lived as for some god forsaken reason the Nationals chose to sign him to a minor-league deal yesterday. Why the f they’d sign a jack-a-loon like him is beyond us. They started the offseason so promising by acquiring Pudge Rodriguez and Jayson Werth and now they’ve got Ollie?? If he makes the team, the Nationals would only be responsible for $414,000 (being that the Mets are still paying him $12 MILLION). Just because something’s on sale, doesn’t mean you buy it, people! Maybe they’re just looking for someone to take a crap on the mound every few days. If that’s the case, we’ll be happy to do it for a 1/3 of what they’d have to pay Perez.

In other humorous news related to former idiot Mets players, the newly signed Luis Castillo never showed up to Phillies’ camp on Tuesday. While manager Charlie Manuel claimed that he wasn’t disappointed in the situation, it seems as though Phillies’ officials were a bit confused and frustrated by his absence (and can we really blame them?). Castillo had agreed to a minor-league deal on Monday morning. Manuel hadn’t been informed as to WHY Castillo was delayed, but a source told Buster Olney of ESPN Magazine that it was a “personal matter.” Aw, did he get his period? Pal, if you’re trying to get a permanent job, it’s probably not a good idea to blow off your first day at work. Not that we’re experts or anything like that…

Curtis Granderson was scratched from the lineup against the Orioles on Tuesday night because of an oblique strain. The team is still uncertain what this means in terms of a timeline for his return, but he could miss Opening Day…again. Super.

Lastly, the Nationals officially placed Stephen Strasburg on the 60-day DL as he recovers from September’s elbow surgery. We really hope that they didn’t make the a$$ clown Perez decision based on this. Talk about a terrible impulse purchase.

Little tid bits of information for you that aren’t to be taken lightly as you’ll definitely need them to survive. Check out the Fred K’s Cancer website or Facebook page to see what awesome shit we’ve gotten donated thus far for our raffle contest. This year’s contest is clearly going to be amazing. Please don’t judge the number of fitness-related items and assume that the TBB have either gotten incredibly fat or in incredible shape. We’re still basically hovering around the “average” line.

We finally purchased our tickets to our Twins/Mariners game at Target Field. This was a little more involved than our purchase of Brewers tickets. Lisa spent about 45 minutes on the phone with the operator attempting to secure tickets on the first base side. Initially, Lisa checked the Twins website, but to her dismay, she kept getting tickets for standing room only, which is simply not an option because we’re inherently lazy. While on the phone, she discovered that her choices were still pretty limited, but a little more flexible than just standing room…meaning that she could choose standing room or two single seats nowhere each other. Finally, she had no choice but to visit our old friend, Stub Hub. For a total of $120, we got seats in section 107 (which is on the first base side aka: in view of Justin Morneau). On the Twins website, these seats cost about $50 each so we didn’t get hosed too badly on the cost. *sigh* We underestimated you, Twins. For that we’ve paid the price. Apologies. We’ll never fail you again. OH! Also, since we’re forced to “download” ugly tickets, if anyone is attending this game, please meet us at our section to donate your real ticket stubs. : )

Travel items left to be accomplished for 2011: Booking a Milwaukee hotel, booking Denver airfare, and if it’s in the cards, Toronto airfare, hotel, and Blue Jays tickets.

Tomorrow, we’ll be joining Roberta at the Ab Crunch Challenge for St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital at the West Hempstead Lady of America Fitness Center. With all of the energy we’ve devoted to Fred K’s Cancer this year, we thought it best to bow out of the actual crunching and fundraising. Instead, we’ve chosen to donate to Roberta, cheer her on, and count her crunches for her. Again, we’ll be in full military regalia in order to fully express our high level of intimidation.

“It’s the last blog. The last blog on Friday. Yes, it’s our last blog. Last blog on Friday. We need you to still read us on Sunday, it’s a fun day. Last blog todayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.” Thank you and have nice night!